Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (शुभ मंगल ज़्यादा सावधान)

Train No 0377 going from Allahabad to Gomtinagar...

...the Vivah Special Express, will soon leave from Platform No. 3.

This is a special train. It is overbooked.

They say, matches are made in heaven,

but the timing is decided here, on earth.

In the city of Allahabad alone, 13,000 weddings will take place... today.

One would think that the entire Indian economy runs on

the business of conducting weddings.

And we, the loyal citizens, are running,

to make our contributions toward the economy.

I am Kartik Singh, and I'm running...

And I am Aman Tripathi, and I'm running as well.

I was six, the first time I had to run.

The local boys hated my hair colour.

The only thought I had, every time I ran was...

One day, I could be like the superstar Amitabh Bachchan.

'I have never followed anyone... always taken the lead.'

Two whacks from my father, taught me two things.

One: Running doesn't help you grow up any faster.

Two: You can't just become a superstar...

You have to be born as one.

In my case, I was running away from love, not violence.

As my family was running after me, to put cake on my face.

Mummy always said that I am different.

But all their love, coupled with all that frosting on my face...

made me look no different from them.

I've been running ever since.

But today, it's a different story.

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Hey Kartik, nobody here is interested in celebrating their love.

So what, if they are not listening?

We will make ourselves heard.

How do we do that?

Go and sit on that kiddie train.

Crazy or what?

Go on, I have to fight these germs.

Are you on a holiday or what?

Get up!

Get up!

Hello?

Mummy?

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Don't know about my toothpaste.

But I do have a heart that beats for my darling Guddu.

Wait a minute.

Hold on, Guddu.

Down with black cauliflowers!

These farmers protesting against the black cauliflowers are driving us mad.

So, when are you coming home?

Goggle is getting married.

We'll leave early morning tomorrow.

Our train leaves at 06:55. Get some more of these.

Mummy, I won't be going home. I had told you.

How many times must I repeat myself?

You idiot!

Is this why I gave you those polio drops?

So you could keep running away from me, huh?

I'm very busy, Mummy.

I keep telling you this.

I don't need your money.

What does 10,000 amount to, anyway?

Fine, don't come.

There's a wedding taking place,

the entire family is coming together.

And you can't make it!

So what?

They are around anyway.

Step out of the door and they're all there.

Die! You bloody dog!

May you lose your job!

I hope you break your hand!

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

All you can think of is whether your toothpaste can love you.

What about all the love you've got from the family?

Hang up now.

Now that you've called and I'm getting billed for it,

go on, carry on with your ranting.

We were never outgoing anyway,

we'll become incoming again.

Bye!

Does your toothpaste celebrate love?

Aunty, should I keep a mosquito coil in Guddu's room?

Or is he still allergic to it?

Guddu is dead!

He got run over... cut into two pieces.

The top half was claimed by his work.

And the bottom half...

Is this because of a girl?

Kusum!

The black cauliflower created by

agricultural scientist, Shri Shankar Tripathi

has created unrest among the farmers in UP.

Oh God!

Where is Guddu's father?

Mummy!

Aren't we supposed to complete these rituals on time?

I've been ready and waiting for so long...

and no one is bothered.

Everyone's busy catching stupid cauliflowers.

Wait, my turn. Move. Move away.

May God help you.

You can't even handle a cauliflower,

how will you handle your wife?

I'll be able to handle everything, just get married, Uncle.

How will he get you married?

Uncle, move, a black cauliflower!

He hasn't been able to get his daughter married in all these years!

She is getting married tomorrow.

I couldn't find a suitable boy.

It did take some time, but I've finally found somebody.

You haven't.

It's your brother who has found... that ancient relic.

Any longer, and he would have become a museum exhibit.

Mummy!

Don't you dare badmouth Ashok.

I'll set the house on fire, let me tell you.

Where is he?

Should we start the rituals?

Has anyone seen Guddu's father?

Oh God, these damn cauliflowers.

Chaman!

Yes, what happened?

Have you seen Guddu's father?

He's there, on the terrace.

This damn terrace is like his mistress...

he's always on top of it.

Let's go.

Down with the black cauliflower!

The cauliflower has ruined us all.

Shankar Tripathi, shame on you!

The cauliflower has ruined us all.

Shankar Tripathi, shame on you!

Shankar Tripathi, shame on you!

There is always hope... Have you seen this, Uncle?

A miracle.

Let me gift you a sack of these black cauliflowers.

No, no thank you, Shankar.

Take it. It's good for the children, very nutritious.

This is what we've been eating for the past week.

- Really? - Yes!

Did you hear that, Gauri Shankar?

He's been eating this since the past week, and he's still alive.

He's fine.

Tell me something, these farmers who say they've been ruined...

were they any better off, earlier?

Er...

No way!

Their cauliflowers get infested with worms,

- See this, Uncle. - our black cauliflowers don't.

What's this?

Our neighbourhood.

Wow!

Gauri Shankar, our neighbourhood is featured on the internet.

This is... our house. And isn't this...

Mr. Mishra's terrace?

Correct, those are his wife's undergarments put up for drying. See.

It's theirs.

Whatever.

It's great that our neighbourhood is featured on the internet.

I'll celebrate by giving all of you a sack of black cauliflowers each.

Where are you?

I'm right here. What happened?

See this, Uncle.

Why are you creating a ruckus? I'm right here.

Kusum.

She's Mr. Nagar's daughter, isn't it?

I've spoken to her mother and booked her for the past one year.

Booked her for what?

For our Guddu.

Right.

What do you mean right?

I've been stalling for a year now.

Gifting dry fruits won't work anymore.

I'd thought of getting Guddu married to her when he'd visit for Goggle's wedding.

But your darling son has refused to come home.

Where are you running off to?

I'm feeling shy, Aunty.

Let's finalise things first.

Okay, you can go.

Take this... bangle.

It's a gift from me and a promise from his side.

But...

God bless you...

You better practice calling me Mummy, from now.

Go on.

Don't misplace it.

I have just the one - bangle and son.

Why don't you say something?

What can I say, madam Sunaina?

You're the one speaking on my behalf.

Don't worry, I'll speak to Guddu.

He'll come home.

Brother!

Hurry up! The police are about beat up the protestors.

No... it's okay.

Will someone start with the rituals?

Mummy, I guess we're done.