Slender

- So... - Nice new camera there, buddy.

I know, well...

- It work? - Get what you can, yeah.

What do you want?

Are you really filming right now?

Yeah.

- Oh, perfect. - Of course I am.

Always filming.

Hey, Dan.

- Hey, Dan. - Yeah?

Um, I also got microphones.

- Did you really? - Yeah.

- New microphones? - Some new lavs.

Look, I just want to try to get this um...

to see how it works together, if it works together.

- Oh. - So, you should put...

You should put a lav on.

You want a whiskey?

Give me a sec, brother.

How you doing, man?

Hey, what's up?

Pretty good.

Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan...

I think... I think you should put this on.

Just... It's... I'm not...

We're never gonna use this, I just wanna...

Clip that to your shirt, and put it on.

Check, test, one, two.

Explain to me how mic-ing someone up is going to

work in a documentary.

Um, it's so you can hear them.

So what's been going on?

Oh, you know, it's really busy at work.

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

Hi, sweetie.

And ugly.

Good to see you, babe.

- Good to see you. - Thanks.

So what's for uh, din din tonight?

I mean, what would you expect in the afternoon?

No, I just finished work so I thought I'd come by.

Cool.

How was work today?

- What? - It's not break time yet.

Um, do you see somebody I can be helping right now?

There's a couple people back here, they got drinks?

Uh, looks like they do, but you know what?

I'll go check on it, okay?

Can you see the microphone?

Can you hear me now?

Well, I can hear you because I'm standing a foot away from you.

Can you hear me now?

I could still hear you.

Why do you like Dan?

- Do you love Dan? - You can't film this.

Is Dan the best?

He's the best in the whole world.

Ever.

He's so amazing and wonderful.

Are you talking about your other boyfriend?

Yeah.

Are you directing me now?

I am, I want you to get closer.

- Is this closer? - Hey, what's up?

- As I climb over the bar. - Is this better?

- Is this closer? - Yeah, that's really natural.

- How does this work for you? - Does this look natural?

- Natural. - Is it? Is this...

Now pretend you love each other.

That's gonna take a lot of pretending for her to do.

Yes.

I know, he was asking me tough questions.

Um, Joel we might actually have to kill someone.

Why?

Uh, because I can't have competition.

- I enjoy it all to myself. - Yeah?

Dude, I can't, I can't.

What? What can't you do?

I'm not gonna annoy every patron.

He won't even know, you can just act like you're...

Act like you're uh, wiping down the bar.

You can do it.

And you just point these things here, right here.

Turn the camera off, and I got you working tomorrow, too.

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

You said, I asked for, I asked for that two weeks ago off.

Deal with it.

You guys uh, still doing alright over here?

I actually need a couple of drinks.

Yeah, definitely.

Um.

Hi, uh, I need another Zinfandel.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Yeah, so I think you should meet my mother.

Okay.

- Sorry. - Is she here?

No, my mom doesn't drink.

Okay.

But uh, she's probably at church right now.

The one asked if she wanted to meet his mother.

It doesn't matter, bottom line is, we are not

shooting here at the bar today.

I don't do as much drugs anymore.

That's probably a good thing.

It is a good thing.

My psychiatrist told me that if I was ever

going to have a relationship with anyone

I needed to be able to um...

hear the inner me and if I'm always I'm doped up

or doing drugs then...

Are you seriously gonna just like...

Dude, I'm...

Yeah... No, just tell your story.

- No, it's great. - Thank you!

You wanna become Facebook friends?

Um, you know if you can find me on there then

I might consider your friendship request.

Okay, um...

He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

Dude.

Yeah, I'm just, I'm just...

I'm just capturing life as it happens.

- So you are filming me. - Yeah.

- Dude, that's not... - Right now I am, yeah.

Dude, that's not cool, man.

That's alright, I'm just filming.

Dude, what if I called my lawyer and

- I got him on the phone. - Uh huh.

And I'm all like... and I sued your ass.

Would you, would you be okay with that?

Do you have enough money to just...

I'm just filming, it's alright.

Yeah, it's just alright.

And it's just okay that I guess I can just, you know...

be alright if I fucking kick your ass, is that what you want?

- I'm just filming. - Dude, I'll come over there...

and I will smack that camera out of your face.

I'm just filming.

And I will beat your ass.

- There's nothing... - Do you...

Don't fuck with me, man.

Is that what you want?

- Joel! - What?

I'm just filming.

There's nothing wrong with this.

Can you hear that?

He's just playing with it.

Yeah, but I told him to turn it off.

Okay, and he turned it off!

You got it set up, that was fine.

So then when I come back in and I tell him it turn it off...

- No, he's still going. - It was off. No, it was off!

No, it was not on because I saw you guys talking

into the camera.

People don't wanna come in here when that's shit's going on.

I know, I know.

Look, they don't want to be on camera.

They don't want to be filmed.

Alright.

They come here to relax and have a good time.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

And you're being a dickhead about it,

and you're mouthing off to me.

K? You're treading on thin ice, and it's fine.

Jim still pays money, he's a patron.

K? So if you're pissing him off, you're pissing off

other people, they're not gonna come in here,

it's bad for business.

Just do your job, alright?

What are you still filming, huh?

Yeah.

I told you to turn that thing off.

I'm sorry.

If I see that camera in this bar again,

you are not allowed back in here.

- Alright. - Okay?

Okay man, whatever.

What the hell?

What?

Did he tell you to turn the camera off?

No, I don't remember him saying that.

Joel, did he turn you to tell...

Did he tell you to turn the camera off?

- Whatever, I don't care. - This...

Dude, I'm gonna lose my job because of this.

You know, money, money, something that you don't

have because you're doing this stupid documentary.

Uh huh.

Joel, I'm not kidding turn that thing off.

- What? - Is that...

- I'm trying to make... - Turn it off!

Joel, I'm gonna talk to this woman?

Oh my gosh.

"Next stop, 90th South."

Do you know where to look?