Autobiography of a Princess

How's it going then?

Just a minute.

Oh, this is the wrong place, it's quite wrong.

It will have to be moved.

It's a bit late to tell me now, isn't it?

It's in the way of all my preparations.

Come on!

Be careful.

Where are we going?

Watch those photographs, be careful.

All right.

Turn around.

Look, watch it!

This is expensive equipment.

Cost me my job if anything happens to this.

Could you plug it in in there, please?

Thank you very much.

Would you thread this?

Look, I've got to be in South Croydon by half past four.

Could you center it and test it please?

That will do.

Thanks very much.

Thank you, you've done very well.

You can call for it in the morning,

but not before 11, please.

We'll have to see about that, depends on my day.

Thank you, you've been very kind.

The door's open, come right up.

Ah, Cyril Sahib.

It's wonderful to see you.

Come on up.

How was your journey?

Ugh!

I'm sure, that dreadful little train from Turton.

Come and sit down, this is your chair.

There.

I want you to be absolutely comfortable.

Oops!

Put this here, and this for your back.

There.

Aww, it's just wonderful to see you on our day.

My dear Princess.

Our very own day.

It's been exactly one year,

and you look just the same.

Exactly the same, you haven't aged one day.

You are younger, more beautiful than ever.

Aww, of course, of course.

I'm going to make your tea now, everything is ready.

No, I don't want you to move,

I absolutely forbid it.

Where's Raju?

Raju, gone with the wind.

I don't need Raju anyway.

There's no point in bringing servants from India these days.

They just stay with you for a little while.

Then they say, may I go walk in the park?

Or I want to start an Indian restaurant.

I have a maid.

She comes on Monday.

I think I'm going to have to change her day,

because when she comes on Monday,

she's still suffering from her weekend celebrations.

And here I am.

I had so much trouble with this

dreadful garland again this year.

These English florists, they simply do not know

how to make a garland.

I had to show the girl myself.

This is good Darjeeling tea.

Here we go.

You simply can't tear yourself away, can you?

He certainly was a handsome man.

Oh Cyril Sahib.

Handsome?

Papa was.

He was.

He was just tops.

Quite.

In everything.

Well, shall we drink a toast to our birthday boy?

In tea?

Drinking to Papa in tea?

He would have had a good laugh at that.

He was always amused by my drinking habits.

Or I should say my non-drinking habits.

A mild man, that's what he called me.

How is Turton-on-the-sea?

And the research?

Turton is quiet and mild, which is appropriate.

And the research is coming along, slowly along.

I shall have a book one of these days.

You know the book I want you to write.

Well, everything is ready, you see,

for our annual birthday treat.

I have the tapes of the interviews as well.

Would you like me to--

No, I don't want you to move.

Such a nice young man from the BBC brought them over.

And he said I could keep them for as along as I like.

I wish you'd let me help you.

Have some more tea.

And have one of the samosas.

Come on, I know you like them.

All right.

I do hope the film doesn't break

like it did last year.

They are so old and brittle, some of them.

I keep meaning to have them restored,

but I don't know what exactly to do.

Ah, look at him.

This is just so precious.

It's just got to be saved.

Because when it's gone, everything's gone.

Ummmm, that was a good team wasn't it?

But polo wasn't quite Papa's favorite sport.

He thought it was rather tame.

What is it that he used to say?

Sitting on a horse to run after a ball?

Of course when Papa sat on a horse,

it wasn't to run after a ball.

This was more his kind of sport.

People came from all over India,

all over the world.

Once there was this royal visitor from England.

And, um, he couldn't shoot very well.

And he hit a tiger, he wounded it,

And then he let him get away,

which of course is very dangerous.

So Papa decided that he would go after the tiger.

And he wouldn't let anyone go with him except

Purushjin, his favorite chicarrie.

And they searched for the tiger the whole day.

They were just about to turn back,

when the tiger surprised them.

And he mauled Purushjin

And he would have killed him.

But of course Papa took out his gun and he shot him.

And Papa and the tiger were

just less than one foot away from each other.

Papa called that the closest shave he'd ever had.

And afterwards the tiger's skin

was hung up in Papa's study.

It was a beauty.

Of course, Purushjin died of his wounds afterwards.

Which was a tragedy.

But Papa was very generous with his widow.

You know how he was.

No wonder the poor just adored him.

Hmmmm, pig sticking.

That was his favorite sport of all.

He called that a real man's sport.

He used to say that there's nothing between

you and the pig except steady hands, steady nerves

and a brave heart.

I think what he really loved was danger.

That was his sport whether it was animals or airplanes.

He was one of the first princes to get a pilot's license.

And ours was one of the first aerodromes in the country.

That was such a great day for him.

The inauguration of the hangar.

We were all terrified out of our wits

whenever Papa went out to fly.

Especially after Bajahpur was killed in his plane.

We thought after that Papa would be more careful,

but not at all.

He said, when your time has come, it has come.

Sir John Steele.

He came down specially from Delhi

for the inauguration ceremonies.

That was such a big party.

Papa loved parties, he had such fun.

Papa loved fun.

He never spared any expense.

Quails from Isfahan, fireworks, champagne.

And jokes, Papa loved jokes and making people laugh.

Once he made an apple pie bed with his own hands

for the English resident, Sir Philip Croft.

In the morning at breakfast he asked Sir Philip,

"Well, Sir Philip, I hope you had a good night."

And Sir Philip said, "Excellent Your Highness,

thanks to your very personal efforts."

Ah, Sir Philip had such a sense of humor.

Which is not something that can

be said for a lot of the Indian princes.

Stuffy nabobs.

Just having a good time.

Then, when Papa used to go to London,

he would buy out all the joke shops

on Tottenham Court Road, and he always

came back with these trunk fulls of

squeaking cushions and exploding cigars

and things like that.

Of course here were a few accidents

because of his sense of humor.

But he always made it up to people afterwards.

Is that Prince Impooshi?

No.

Yes it is Prince Impooshi.

Because there's Uncle Rajman,