Wrestling Ernest Hemingway

what do you want, Cooney?

I got this package for you..

Joyce, you better put on some clothes,

or I’ll call the cops.

oh, I’ll put something on

when you fix the Goddamn air conditioner.

you just going to stand in front of me?

say what you got to say.

it's Goddamn hot in there,

and I ain’t going back for clothes.

say, Cooney,

it's kind of nice out.

I think I’ll leave it out.

this is for you.

what is it?

how should I know?

it came to the office.

it's from my son!

Frank?

yeah?

I’ve been easy on you up till now.

that's 'cause you're new, but not anymore.

put on some clothes and get your address straight,

cause I’m not u.p.s.

hey, Cooney!

Cooney, I was expecting a letter!

all I got was that box.

it's for my birthday.

let's hope it's a pair of pajamas.

good morning, Walt.

good morning, Elaine.

I would like to have six pieces of bacon

and four slices of toast, please,

and a small juice.

I know, Walt,

and you know what I’m going to say.

I know. bacon's not so good for me,

but I like to make sandwiches with the bread.

it's good that way.

it might be good that way,

but it's not good for you.

but you want it anyway, right?

yes.

all right.

there is a dance at the oriole's lodge

on the 21st of July,

and there is a band, too, coming down from Jacksonville.

it has five members, and...

hmm...

I heard they have very good dancers there and...

he's still here?

um...yeah.

I know he is, Ryan.

I’m looking right at him.

that was a rhetorical question.

he's been here since nine.

has he bought anything?

well, he asked for Following the Equator.

I ordered it for him.

it'll be about three weeks.

is he planning on waiting here?

I don’t know.

that was another rhetorical question.

um, I did show him the Hemingway section.

it's the damn air conditioning.

these old bastards have nothing to do all day.

this isn't a library. get rid of him.

well, what do you want me to say?

I don’t care.

just make sure you get the postage on that book.

he's already paid for it.

good. get him out of here.

I’ll take that.

um, excuse me, Sir?

Sir, excuse me.

the manager says you've been here all day.

yeah. I managed to locate the Hemingway.

oh...

um...

well, uh...

the manager says you've been here too long.

I got into a wrestling match with him once, you know.

you wrestled my manager?

you wrestled Ernest Hemingway?

I truly did.

well, did you win?

well, it was 1938...

Puerto Rico.

I was the youngest captain on the Caribbean.

Ryan! 20 years old--

if you're not buying that book,

I’ll have to ask you to leave.

what time is it?

it's almost 11:00. you've been here two hours.

oh, well, then, I’ve got someplace to be.

can you hold?

no, Sir. I don’t think so.

we're receiving heavy mortar fire on our right flank.

all right.

Jim, let's get some mortar fire...

heavy mortars. target aerial, 4807-item.

Mack!

what happened?

I’m going on over to fox company.

there goes the bravest man I ever seen.

let's go, fellas!

you haven't mentioned my new cap, Georgia.

I hadn’t noticed, Francis.

those speakers sounded better yesterday.

hmm. this old theater is just like me.

we're both falling apart.

you look all right to me.

you know my boy,

he's taking me to Fort Lauderdale for the weekend.

you know, to watch the fireworks and what-have-you.

he sent me this hat for my birthday.

actually, it's not till tomorrow.

actually, July 3rd.

that's when he's coming to get me.

the reason I like it, you see,

it's got this extra deluxe feature.

keeps the sun off your neck.

Georgia.

what's the big idea, Francis?

it's a real dog day today.

how about a double feature?

two movies for the price of one.

it can't be bad.

you're going to get in trouble.

who's going to catch me?

the runt?

come on. it's hotter than hell out there.

besides, you haven't got a hat to keep the sun away.

well, it's a fine cap, Frank,

but a gentleman wouldn't wear it indoors.

I’m as gentle as they come, lady.

22!

yeah! come on!

come on, kid. come on.

ball 4. take your base.

hoo.

here we go, Henry.

remember what I told you.

choke up. bat at 40 degrees at all times.

here we go. that's it.

pick out a pitch.

strike!

ooh.

Henry, Henry, look at me.

eye on the ball, concentration,

and follow through. now step in there.

cock that bat back there.

that's it. eye on the ball.

strike 2.

go red, go.

please. please.

don't swing at anything.

don't let him intimidate you.

pick a nice pitch and relax in there.

be mean up there. that's it, baby.

strike 3.

that's the ballgame!

whoo!

yeow!

pizza!

bring the twins.

what the hell are you doing?

it occurred to me...

that walking forward

strengthens the front of the leg,

but it neglects the back.

so...

see these fellas bent over at the waist?

not me!

straight as a soldier!

your son called.

he called the office.

you got to get a phone, Joyce.

I’m not a secretary.

you ought to get yourself a husband.

you wouldn't be so mean.

I had a husband. that's how I got this way.

what'd he say?

he won't be coming tomorrow.

something about his job.

that ain't the right message.

he said he was sorry.

he was supposed to send me a letter.

I know nothing about this calling business.

just telling you what he told me.

when he moved me into this shithole,

he said-- he told me--

he promised!

he promised that he would take me south for the fireworks.

don't insult my place.

well, I guess...

I guess he's...

I guess he's busy.

his wife and...

he's got a damn important job.