Bo Burnham: Make Happy

That has been, really, a difficult thing for me.

My mother has always been a very difficult person all her life.

Very unhappy. I can never remember my mother being happy.

And as she gets older, however she was as a young person,

I find it's just now exaggerated and, uh...

so, she's, uh, 83 and now very extremely negative,

very extremely unhappy, and, uh... that has been hard for me...

- -

Hello, audience.

Thank you for coming.

You are here because you want to laugh...

and you want to forget about your problems.

But I cannot allow it.

You should not laugh.

You should not forget about your problems.

The world is not funny.

-We are all dying. -

The world is not funny.

Twelve percent of the world's population

does not have access to clean drinking water.

The world is not funny.

Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants.

- -The world is not funny.

So then... now that we understand the context,

now that we realize how terribly unfunny the world is...

let's do this.

- -

Entertainers are not here to help you.

They are here to control you.

- -Never listen to them.

Never give them what they want.

And most importantly, never make some fucking noise!

Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

-No, you can't. -

Mathematically impossible. Listen.

Don't be Pavlovian. I'm looking for actual answers here.

Trying to gather information. Let's go.

Hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah!

-Gotcha. Get these motherfuckers. -

Get down on the ground! Get down on the ground!

Pot is ruining America. Where's the weed?

Where's the weed?

Yeah, we got a room full of potheads.

We're gonna need backup. Over.

Psych!

Fuck the police.

No comment!

Good call. I have no idea what's going on over there.

What are they fighting about?

They have similar hats.

Hell, yeah!

-Whoops. -

I think you're done with this call and response shit.

That's what I thought.

If you want me to get introspective,

-let's get introspective. -

- -So I was at the dentist the other day...

- -Yeah.

And nothing funny happened,

so I was like, "Don't mention that on stage."

I already fucked it up.

-No, you fucking don't. -

You do not.

Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love.

You need to reject both sides of the spectrum

-to leave a... healthy middle. -

Stop participating.

Not a participatory thing going on up here.

Trying to immortalize something I've worked on for a long time.

Shut up!

I have not...

made my mind up about...

masturbation. It's weird and I'm torn.

You know, 'cause on one hand, it feels good.

Did you not think I was gonna use it, idiots?

- -It's not a prop.

It will be used intermittently.

Guys... I've got a lot of problems in my life.

I wrote a song about some of the problems in my life.

I hope that some of you can relate to it. Here we go.

-What? -

They're being greedy and they know it, okay?

Case doesn't fit that phone.

Sorry.

- Thank you. -

If you were offended by that, it was ironic.

Isn't that fun? I meant the whole opposite of it.

White guys, it's easy to be a white guy.

Yeah, white guy, we deserve a... cheer once in a while.

Very easy to be a white guy. Very easy.

But white guys get a lot of shit and it's not fair,

'cause we've done a lot of things, you know?

We invented a lot of stuff.

White guys invented everything but peanut butter, I believe.

That's what I was taught in school. Everything but peanut butter.

Doesn't sound right, but the American educational system

having a racial bias?

No way, Joseph.

Guys, white... white people are a little uncomfortable.

We'll do a racial joke about the white people

so you don't feel uncomfortable.

White people, we like the same foods.

Favorite sandwich, peanut butter and...

- Jelly! -...jelly.

-Macaroni and... - Cheese!

Our favorite chips, salt and vi...

- ...negar! -Wow!

- -Who said it?

Get the cameras on them.

Your grandkids are gonna see this,

know what a bigot their grandfather or grandmother were.

Every non-white person, see who said that,

find them after the show.

Put the lights down. Their faces creep me out.