Fargo

-Herein. -(DOOR OPENS)

(TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION IN DISTANCE)

(TYPEWRITER CLACKING IN DISTANCE)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES)

Setzen.

You are Yuri Gurka.

No.

My name is thank goodness Jakob Ungerleider.

This is some misunderstanding.

You live at 349 Hufelandstraße.

Yes, sir.

Hmm.

Yuri Gurka is the registered occupant of 349 Hufelandstraße.

So if that is your address, then your name is Yuri Gurka,

and you are a twenty year old émigré from the Ukraine.

No.

I am a German citizen.

As you can plainly see,

I have not been twenty years old for a long time.

Perhaps -- if I may--

I have only lived at this address for six months.

So, perhaps Yuri was the previous--

Tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk.

This is a problem,

you understand?

Because for you to be right,

the state would have to be wrong.

Is that what you're saying? That the state is wrong?

No, sir.

Gut. Gut.

Then you admit that you are Yuri Gurka.

And your girlfriend's name is Helga Albracht.

No.

I don't have--

I mean, my wife,

she is in fact named Helga, yes.

Excellent.

But not -- Albracht.

Now we are getting somewhere.

Was it this morning or last night

that you strangled her?

What?

Your girlfriend Helga Albracht.

You killed her last night or this morning?

I do not have--

Please, this must be--

As I said before,

I do not have a girlfriend, I have a wife,

and though she is coincidently named Helga, yes,

but Helga Ungerleider,

and, believe me she is very much alive.

In fact, when your men came to pick me up only an hour ago,

she was home, and offered them tea.

And yet here is a body, found earlier today.

Helga Albracht.

Strangled manually and left on the banks of the Spree.

Herr Gurka,

be reasonable.

I have shown you a body,

cold to touch, and blue in the face.

I have seen this body with my own eyes.

Her death is a fact.

What you are giving me are words.

This "wife," who is "alive,"

a "different last name."

That is called "a story."

And we are not here to tell stories.

We are here to tell the truth.

Understand?

Kids, come inside.

Honestly, Buck. It's a little embarrassing.

I mean, we called the number.

They said if there was ever a problem,

we should call the number.

And, well, we called it.

And?

A series of clicks and buzzers.

A series of...

Clicks and buzzers, that's what we got.

-Which... -Couldn't even leave a message.

No message possible, so we thought...

We thought get Buck back in here.

After all, he vouched for him.

Well, now, let's be...

Let's call a spade a spade.

I don't know him. Don't vouch for him.

I was just a conduit for information.

I mean, like you said,

"Buck, we tried all the normal channels.

"We just need a bridge loan to..."

Last year, for Pete's sake.

I'd met him at the Shriners!

Sure, okay,

and everything went great when we met with the broker,

a Mr. Ermentraub, if I'm not...

Right, Rick Ermentraub.

I got his card in my...

And now, we're in the black again,

so we call the number to arrange payback, and...

Clicks and buzzers.

Maybe there's another number, we're thinking.

Another number where we can at least leave a darn message.

It's a lot of money.

A heck of a lot.

And it's just sitting there on the books, which...

Can't have that.

Okay then. Well. Thanks for coming in.

Of course.

Did you think about what I asked?

The Widow Goldfarb. She wants to meet.

-The who? -I was gonna tell you.

She's a so-called "storage queen,"

sniffing around for a possible

silent-partner-type arrangement.

Seems like the real deal.

Money to burn.

Where was she two years ago?

Friends. Friends. And Dave.

I'm not lying when I tell you

I still remember the first date,

25 years ago.

Took her to Fjord's in Saint Paul, my Stella.

I bought her a lobster the size of a car.

Cost me two weeks' wages at the Red Robin, but...

Well, it was worth it.

And so over shellfish she says,

"So where do you live?"

You know, just making conversation.

And I tell her the address, "213 Monroe."

And she gets this funny look on her face,

and she says, "Which apartment?"

So I say, "16."

And now, the look gets even funnier,

-and she says... -I say, "What are the odds?"

I lived in that same apartment for three and a half years.

I still had the key.

Of course, she never told me that part. -(CROWD LAUGHS)

So I come home a week later, and what the heck,

she'd moved in!

And now, somehow, it's 25 years later,

and here we are.

And we've got Grace and her husband Dennis.

Oh.

And life has been good to us.

More than good.

Okay.

So, raise a glass to my Stella.

Oh.

Still lovely as the day we met.

-Stella. -Stella.

Thank you.

Enjoy yourselves. Come on.

I got you five minutes.

Go get 'em, tiger.

Yeah.

-How are we doing? Good to see you. -Pretty good, I think.

Thanks for coming.

Ray.

You know, congratulations and all that.

Thanks.

The place looks good.

-We had the floors redone. -Oh, yeah?

That's, uh...

So you said, Grace got a...

That's her husband now, Dennis?

It was nothing, barely even a wedding.

We did it in Cabo. On the beach.

They said... Invitation said, "No shoes."

Can you imagine wearing a suit and no shoes?

Still, real nice.

But small. Only, like, 10 people.

Yeah, but you went.

We had some meetings. -The next day.

Potential investors.

In Cabo?

It's like a resort. Super high-end.

International businessmen and the like.

Exclusive.

Not for parole officers, you mean.

Don't take offense.

Yeah, Ray. Jeez.

Don't take offense.

We're just explaining what happened.

How's the Corvette?

It's a car.

Look, I'm getting engaged.