Crime of Passion

"Worried mother." "Bewildered." "Frightened."

"Tempted . " "Brokenhearted." "Tormented . "

Don't you ever get any of these things signed,

"Radiant." "Euphoric." "Tickled pink"?

I mean, there's got to be some happy people left in San Francisco.

Not if I can help it.

"Dear Kathy Ferguson,

"I read your wonderful column every day,

"but now I need your help and have no other one to turn to.

"Would it be wrong for me to run away with the man I love, who is a wonderful n1an

"but my mother does not like him?

"I make my own living.

"I want him so much, I cannot stand it another day.

"So please tell me what to do. Yours truly, foolish 17.

"P.S. Everything is mixed up because he already has a wife.

What should I do?"

Well, what do we tell foolish 17 to do?

Forget the man. Run away with his wife.

Fergy!

Uh oh, here it goes again.

What?

Nalence.

That Dana woman, wanted in Los Angeles

for the killing of her husband.

Police there got a buzz she's shacking up here

with a 5-cent ganef named Giralda.

Two L.A. detectives flew in and smoked this Giralda out last night.

And the woman?

Not yet.

You hustle down to headquarters, see the Los Angeles law,

whip up a woman's angle on the Dana babe.

You know, "I killed him because I love him.

I love him because I killed him."

You know, the regular dose of Ferguson schmaltz.

Tomorrow morning?

Now.

Composing room.

Mr. Nalence.

Mr. Nalence, there's a hole on page 10 waiting for my copy.

Yeah, we'll fill it in with some of that cornball from last month.

Nobody will know the difference.

Dietrich? Get me Dietrich.

Dietrich, isn't sending you a new lead.

Dana woman was seen...

The following unassigned men report to traffic:

“Benjamin, Verson, Dandy,

"Fragala, Holland, S. Holland..."

Bester, questioning in the Linder rape.

...Nolan, O'Mara, Quayle, Salicitas..."

Coffee and sandwiches for the press room.

I don't know. I've been waiting for a half hour.

The law from Los Angeles is Captain Charles Alidos

and Lieutenant William Doyle.

This is sure heavy. Boy, you guys can sure eat.

"Pastrami on rye. Jason."

Gin, you idiot!

"Lox on bagel. Samson."

I'm blitzed.

Alidos. Alidos and Doyle. L.A. homicide.

"Tongue on rye with pickle. Samson."

$7. One more?

You got me hooked.

"Turkey, corned beef,

Swiss cheese combination on rye with mustard. Dean."

I said without mustard.

Without mustard? It's good with mustard.

So you eat it.

Yeah, we're waiting for a statement now.

I can't. I don't like mustard.

Ha! Snow white!

Well, the entire cast. Snow White, all the dwarfs, and the witch.

I got here a cream cheese and lox on a bagel. No name.

Where's Shevlin?

Went to the men's room for a breath of fresh air.

Who asked for a cream cheese and lox on a bagel, no name?

Hi, Fergay-

did you ask for a cream cheese and lox on a bagel?

I guess Nalence gave you all I've got.

They're still sweating Giralda.

Did they get any more out of him?

I think he's leveling.

Came in on his own steam as soon as he heard that that Dana woman was wanted.

Maybe he's just smart.

Well, somebody asked for cream cheese and lox on a bagel.

Did you see the two detectives from Los Angeles yet?

They're playing coy

we sent word to them that in San Francisco

the police talk as soon as the press asks questions.

I'm Captain Alidos from Los Angeles.

I'm here with my partner, Lieutenant Doyle, to do a job.

We were sent by the Los Angeles authorities

to find a woman wanted for murder,

not to give interviews to the press.

When we've found her, you'll hear about it. That's all.

Just a minute.

You have your work to do, we have ours.

Your work should be raising a family,

having dinner ready for your husband when he gets home.

Alright, already. Somebody ordered a cream cheese and lox on a bagel.

"Dear Mary Dana,

I write to you from the heart of one woman to the heart of another."

"Now you are deserted by him

in whom you have placed all your faith and all your love."

"When we are alone,

"women tortured by fate,

betrayed by all men..."

"...where can we turn,

"except to the heart and understanding of another woman

who knows what you're suffering?"

"I feel for ya.

"I suffer with ya.

I want to help ya."

"Let me stand by your side in your fight for justice and compassion

"in a world made by men and for men.

"Call me, Mary Dana, and we will face the world together.

"Call me!

Call me!"

"Call me!"

"Call me!"

"Call me!"

Miss Ferguson, on the phone you said

you might know where Mary Dana could be found.

Oh, no, Captain. You misunderstood. Not "might know." I do know.

- Did she call you? - She did.

Where is she?

We, uh, we've been reading those open letters of yours.

- Have you been reading them? - All right. Where is she?

Oh, I'm so glad you liked them. They worked, didn't they?

You see, I felt if she were approached with sympathy--

- miss Ferguson. - Oh, I beg your pardon, Captain.

You want to know where the Mary Dana woman can be found.

Well, uh, before I tell you that,

there are one or two things we should agree upon.

Miss Ferguson,

Mary Dana is wanted for the murder of her husband.

There is nothing to discuss, nothing to agree upon.

You say you've talked to her, you say you know where she's at,

you'll tell us, and that'll be all.

Make me.

Oh, now, now, miss Ferguson, you wouldn't want to interfere with our work.

Never mind.

Miss Ferguson, either you tell us what you know,

or I'll ask for your arrest:

Aiding and abetting a fugitive wanted for murder.

You'll find the Dana woman at that address.

I'll pick up a couple of local homicide men.

You can stay here with her. I'm not through with her yet.

Am I being detained, Captain?

You could put it that way.

But if you detain me, Captain,

I won't be home in time to fix my husband's dinner.

Uh, miss Ferguson, about the Captain, he, um, he gets excited sometimes.

He didn't really mean any of that.

You're free to leave anytime you want.

I know, but you're going with me.

Oh? Well, I wouldn't be much help in fixing dinner for your husband.

No. But you can help bring the Dana woman in.

I don't like your Captain.

I gave him the address of an old hook and eye shop.

By the time he gets back,

you'll have the Dana woman booked, charged, wrapped up,

ready for the trip back to Los Angeles.

Give me homicide, please. Quick.

Oh, you don't need any help. I'll go in first. You make the arrest.

It might mean a promotion for you when you get home.

I want to talk to Captain Alidos. This is Doyle from L.A.

Tell him to call rne when he comes in. It's important. Yeah.

Well, that's a cute trick. I toss an arrest right into your hat and--

yes, that's very nice of you, miss Ferguson.

But you don't seem to understand.

Alidos and me, we're, uh, we're kind of a team.

We were sent here to do a job together,

and that's the way it's going to be.

You won't get very far that way.

Well, maybe I won't, but I just try to do my job the best way I can,

and try not to poke the other fellow in the eye

with my elbow while I'm doing it.

Oh, go ahead. This is "be kind to the Captain" week.

Hello, uh, Charlie?

Say, Charlie, there's been a little bit of a mix-up.

You better get yourself back here right away. Yeah.Yeah.

Tell me, uh,

who handles you for helping little old ladies across the street?

Well, maybe you could manage the job,

if your, uh, husband wouldn't object.

Not if we let him arrange it with your wife first.

There's no problem.

Oh?

No problem.

No?

In that case, maybe we better arrange these things ourselves, huh?

Have dinner with me tonight?

Yes.

No, Bill, I don't think I ever will get married.

Do you mind breaking that down a little for me?

Why?

I guess I'm just curious, that's all.

The police mind at work?

No, no, the police mind is off-duty

until I meet Alidos at the airport.