Independence Day

For those who haven't, uh, read the plaque,

we'll read the plaque.

"Here men from the planet Earth

first set foot upon the moon

July 1969.

We came in peace for all mankind. "

# It's the end of the world #

#As we know it #

# It's the end of the world #

#As we know it #

# It's the end of the world... #

#And I feel fine... ##

If this isn't an insanely beautiful woman,

I'm hanging up.

Sir, I... I... I think you should listen to this.

- God damn it! - Sir?

- Sir? - Damn!

Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

Come on, baby. Come on.

This better not be

another damn Russian spy job.

Boys from Air Traffic RES say skies are clear.

It's the real thing.

A radio signal from another world.

Let... Let's not jump the gun here.

Get on-line with Space Command.

They're gonna want to know about...

Jeez, what's with the golf balls?

You're gonna kill me here.

Wait. wait. This can't be right.

The calculated distance from source

is only 375,000 kilometers.

It's coming from the moon.

Who else knows about this?

S. E. T. I. in New Mexico identified a signal,

but, uh, they're even more confused

than we are, sir.

Excuse me.

Major?

Yes, sir.

Radar reception has been impaired,

but we were able to get these.

And we estimate

that it has a diameter of over 550 kilometers

and a mass roughly 1/4 the size of our moon.

What the hell is it?

A meteor?

No, sir.

No. Definitely not.

How do you know?

Well, sir, it's... slowing down.

It's what?

It's, uh... it's slowing down, sir.

Get me the secretary of defense.

Then wake him!

Hello.

Hi. It's me.

Hi.

What time is it there?

It's 2:45 in the morning.

I know I didn't wake you.

As a matter of fact, you did.

Liar.

I have a confession to make.

I'm sleeping next to a beautiful young brunette.

You didn't let her

stay up all night watching TV...

did you?

Of course not.

You're gonna come home right after the luncheon, right?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mommy?

Here's your mother.

Hi, honey.

Hi. I miss you.

I know.

President Whitmore's approval ratings

have slipped below 40%.

Even his crime bill failed to pass.

Are the salad days over for President Whitmore? Morton?

Leadership as a pilot in the Gulf War

is completely different from leadership in politics.

Daddy let me watch Letterman.

Traitor.

That's the problem.

They elected a warrior, and they got a wimp.

Good morning, George.

Good morning, Mr. President.

That game couldn't have been pretty.

Ha ha. Thank you, sir.

Connie, you're up awfully early this morning.

They're not attacking your policies.

They're attacking your age.

"Whitmore seems less like the president

and more like the orphan child Oliver

asking, 'Please, sir, I'd like some more. "'

That's clever.

Yeah, well, I'm not laughing.

Age was never an issue

when you stuck to your guns.

You were thought of as young, idealistic.

Now the message has gotten lost.

It's just too much politics. It's too much compromise.

Isn't it amazing

how quickly everyone can turn against you?

Excuse me, Mr. President.

It's the secretary of defense.

Yes.

Can you say that again?

Station WXBY out here in Brooklyn.

Station WXBY out here in Brooklyn.

The temperature is 95 degrees in Central Park.

What it is here in the borough,

God only knows.

Let's go to Nick Jones.

He'll give us a traffic report to the beaches...

So why are you waiting? Hmm?

My social security will expire,

you'll still be sitting there.

I'm thinking.

Yeah, well, think already.

Dad, do you have any idea

how long it takes for those cups to decompose?

If you don't move soon,

I'm gonna start to decompose.

OK.

Listen, David,

I've been meaning to talk with you.

It's nice that you see me so much now, but...

Don't... Don't start, Dad.

I'm only saying it's been, what,

four years?

You're still wearing your wedding band?

Three years.

All right, three, four. You're divorced.

Come on, move on. This is not healthy.

No, this is not healthy. Smoking is not healthy.

Checkmate.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait. This is not...

This is not checkmate.

See you tomorrow, Pop.

Now, just hold on. This is not checkmate.

Ahh, checkmate.

Yes, we've got everybody we have

Yes, we've got everybody we have

working on the problem.

We are doing every...

I love X- Files, too. I hope you get to see it.

Good morning. Compact Cable.

Anna will take care of you. David. David.

What the hell's the point of having a beeper

if you're not gonna turn it on?

It was turned on. I was ignoring you.

Hello. What's the, uh...

What's the big emergency?

It started this morning.

Every station's making like it's the 1950s.

We got static. We got snow.

All kinds of distortions.

- Nobody knows... - Marty...

What the hell are you doing?

There's a reason

we have bins labeled "recycle. "

What the hell is going on?

My God in heaven.

So sue me. David! We got a problem.

Did you try to switch transponder channels?

Oh, please. You think I'd be this panicked

if it was something simple?

OK. Let's point the dish at another satellite.

We tried that. It didn't work.

It's almost as though they weren't even there.

All right. All right. What've we got here?

This is impossible.

We created a race of robots.

Their function...

Miguel, the signal's all screwed up.

Stop it. Just leave it alone.

You're gonna break it, all right?

It's so fuzzy.

Oh, no.

Good morning, Lucas.

You see these?

I got a whole god damn crop full of these.

If your father's not in the air

in 20 minutes...

I'm getting someone else.

Hey!

Russell!

Hey, Miguel!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Russell! What are you doing?

Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

It's the wrong field, you idiot.

Lucas' farm is on the other side of town.

Are you sure?

CNS is running a story that we're covering up

some type of nuclear testing experiment.