Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Hey, kiddo.

-What? -I found something.

You gotta check this out.

"Jumanji."

Board game?

Who plays board games?

Parry. Parry.

Evade. Blam.

Uppercut.

Head slam. You're dead.

Strike. Strike. Counterstrike. Head slam. Ka-pow.

Get ready. Fight.

I got it.

[ANNOUNCER READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]

"--Benjamin Franklin, and it was this sense of national exceptionalism...

...that fueled the spreading wildfire of westward expansion."

-Spencer? Honey? -Ah!

Mom, what did we say about the knocking?

I'm late for work. Are you going to your father's after school?

-Yeah, probably. -Don't forget your EpiPen.

Please, remember, the world is a terrifying place.

Be careful of everything. I love you more than life itself. Bye.

-See you Sunday night. -Okay.

-Later, Mama. Eat something before you go.

I can't. I gotta go meet Spencer.

-Spencer Gilpin? -Yeah, Spencer Gilpin.

He's been tutoring me.

-He's helping me get my grades up. -I love to hear that.

-Little Spencer Gilpin. -Yeah.

-Your grades gonna be okay? -Yeah, that's why I'm getting help.

I'd hate for you to get dropped from the team--

I'm not gonna get dropped from the team.

It's-- It's gonna be fine. Okay?

Okay.

That's cute, right?

Yeah.

-Yo. -Hey, Fridge.

Why you wearing a raincoat?

-What do you mean? -I mean, it's not raining.

Oh.

Well, it might. I mean, you never know what's gonna happen.

[SQUIRREL SQUEAKS THEN SPENCER YELPS]

-Oy vey. Do you mind? -What the hell, man?

Can we just speed this up? Freak House makes me very uncomfortable.

Here you go.

-You proofread everything? -Yeah, I proofed it.

And I gave it a beginning...

...and an ending and some in the middle.

I would've done it myself, if I had the time or whatever...

-...but... -Yeah, it's no big deal.

Hey, man, I was thinking, so... I mean, it's been really fun...

...doing your papers and your homework and stuff...

...but I don't know what you're doing this weekend...

-...but I was thinking we could-- -This weekend. Yeah... Ah.

[POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

-Hey, Fridge. -Hey.

You need a ride?

-I'm going with her. -You know what?

That's actually better for me, scheduling-wise, too, so...

See you later, Refrigerator.

Sorry. Sorry.

What up, girl?

Whatever.

It's not like I was your best friend for your entire childhood.

-That's fine. What'd you say?

Uh... Nothing, sir.

Oh, that guy is super weird.

That poor man. So awful what happened to those people.

-I was talking about the kid. -What are you doing out here?

I was just talking to my friend.

You should be more careful where you loiter, you hear me?

Yes, Mr. Vreeke. I hear you.

This world swallows up kids like you.

it's been two hours since I've posted...

...and he hasn't commented. He hasn't even liked it.

-You saw it. Yeah, gorge.

I don't know what his problem is.

Thank you. It's not like I post all the time, just enough to stay relevant.

-But it's cute enough for Noah to at least-- -Hey, there's some rando behind you.

-Hi. -Hi.

Bethany, did you just make a call during the quiz?

Yeah. But I finished my quiz already.

Oh, okay. Well, have you noticed that other people haven't?

-So? -Oh, I'm sorry. Let me back up.

You're aware there are other people in the world, right?

Look, um, you know, I'm dealing with something right now, and...

...I'm no happier about it than you are.

I'm having a crisis, and Lucinda, I mean...

...she's supporting me as a woman, and it feels like maybe you should too.

-Just hang up the phone. -Okay, I'll wrap it up.

-Bethany, hang it up now. -Two minutes and we're done.

And that's detention.

All right, keep those arms pumping. Let's go!

-Bethany, you're late. -Sorry.

I heard she broke up with that football guy.

This could be your opening, Fussfeld.

All right, we'll practice catching and throwing.

So partner up and grab a football. Let's move!

Hey, Martha.

Martha. You can't play catch by yourself.

Pair up.

Come on. Let's go.

No. No, I'm good.

Okay.

You have to participate just like everybody else.

Otherwise, why are you even here?

It's a requirement.

-Martha-- -I think it's pointless.

Gym class is not gonna get me into Princeton...

...and I don't understand the obsession with throwing...

...a ball into a hoop and, "Touchdown, five points!"

Okay. There's a lot wrong with that, but first of all--

It's physical activity, which is good for you.

With other people, also good for you.

And if you try it, you might even have some fun.

Fun. That's what we're doing here? Fun?

This is school.

We are supposed to be learning things that actually matter.

-Okay, Martha... -We don't have a lot of time in this life...

...and I personally don't wanna waste it on being, like, a gym teacher.

-That-- That-- That came out wrong. -Yeah, it sure did.

That's detention.

That was hard-core.

Badass.

Spencer Gilpin?

Have a seat, Spencer.

Miss Mathers?

"And it was this sense of national exceptionalism...

...that fueled the spreading wildfire of westward expansion."

Does that sound familiar, Mr. Gilpin?

-It does not. -It's the last sentence...

...of Anthony's paper on westward expansion.

And, coincidentally, it's the last sentence...

...of your paper on westward expansion from last year.

That's interesting.

Is it?

I think so. I mean, what are the odds of that?

Slim.

Yeah, you also used the same metaphor...

..."the spreading wildfire," in your papers...

...on the Boston Tea Party, the Battle of Gettysburg...

...and the women's suffrage movement.

It's so hot in this room.

Anthony, I know how much you need to pass my class...

...but this is not how you're gonna do it.

-I will not tolerate cheating. -Cheating?

-I didn't-- I didn't-- I didn't cheat. -It was my fault.

I made him do it.

You made him...

...have you write his paper?

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

Look. I'm sorry, okay?

No, no, it's not okay.

What the hell, man? You got me kicked off the team.

You could've gotten me expelled. It's not like you're the only one...

...who's living dangerously here.

-Living dangerously? -Yes.

This is the most dangerous thing I've ever done in my life.

And now look at me.

I'm paying the price.

Well, isn't this a fun group?

Welcome to detention.

-Yes, Spencer? -I wanna say that I'm sorry.

-Thank you. -Principal Bentley, all I did was make--

Bethany, please. You're all here for a reason. You know what it is.

But this is what you should be thinking about:

Who you are...

...in this moment in time...

...and who you want to be.

You get one life.

You decide how you're gonna spend it.

Fortunately...

...there is no better place for self-reflection...

...than detention.

Get up, everybody. Let's go.

We are turning this into a new computer center.

But before we do, it has to be cleaned out.

These old magazines are bound for the recycling plant.

But they have to be prepped before they go.

It seems all the staples must be removed.

Whatever you don't finish today, you finish tomorrow.

-Tomorrow's Saturday. -Because I wouldn't play football?

-I don't think that'll work. -That's fair.

- Shut up. -So I suggest you get started.

Choose your weapons.

Hey, what the hell they need with a bowling ball?

Seriously, no reception?

-Okay, can today get any worse? -Are you gonna help?

Or are you too pretty?

I'm too pretty.