Kokowääh 2 (Kokowääh 2)

There you go!

Go on in.

Shall I put in a new one?

My lazy boyfriend won't do it.

Katharina, it's Luc.

Can we meet an hour earlier?

- In Felix, at seven ? - Shit!

Hi, this is my dad's voice mail, Henry Lehnbach.

If you leave a message, he may call you back.

Where are you?

The meeting has been moved.

Please get dinner.

I don't mean pizza. Cook something!

And get 999$-

Please, please, don't forget the cake!

Oh no!

- Shit. - The fridge!

- Just the place. - Yep.

I still get paid.

Hey birthday girl!

Happy Birthday! I love you so much. I hope you get everything you want.

- What about our deal? - Nick. The new kid.

We said no friends at the party.

I know, but his mom is at work, and he has no dad.

- Everyone has a dad. - Nick is from a test tube.

- A reaction tube. - A test tube!

His mom just got sick of men.

- A test tube? - Well, makes sense.

You left your baby at home alone?

- He was asleep. - So?

Now he's not asleep anymore.

- Turtles! Can I pick one up? - Of course.

Cute, isn't it?

Yeah. What's its name?

- Stefan. - Stefan?

- And the others? - Stefan, Stefan and Stefan.

They're all called Stefan?

- That way I can remember their names. - That's clever.

- Are you going to do my homework? - Sure.

- Are you in love with Max? - Nonsense!

- Did you know he has an iPhone? - Mom says his dad's a capitalist pig.

A what?

He's someone who can buy his son an iPhone

because others do the dirty work.

I wish my dad was a pig like that. Then I'd definitely have an iPhone.

- I can get you an iPhone. - Right.

- Honestly! - Do my math homework first.

Go on!

Louis, look at this.

It's delicious. Louis, look!

It's so tasty!

Forget my breasts. You're worse than your dad.

- Louis! - Perhaps he'd prefer a fried egg.

No, he wants my breast. But there'll be no more of that.

If I carry on they'll be like a pair of garden hoses.

- Very good! - I'm out this evening. He'll have to...

go hungry-

Shit! How do I look?

Good, apart from the baby puke.

Eat. Yummy!

- Hello. - Are we too early?

No. I'm just dressing down today.

- She's so funny. I told you! - Yeah.

Yeah, I'm incredibly funny.

- You must be Anna. - Yes. Hi.

What did this simple but handsome orthodontist do

to deserve such a perfect woman?

- He's so sweet! - No I'm not.

- Yes you are. You're sweet. - I'm not sweet!

- Stop it. I'm not! - Yes you are!

- Where's our birthday girl? - Come inside.

Tristan, maybe I should...

Otherwise it's too dark.

What a lovely place! It's so rustic.

Will you make your own baby with her, or will Henry do it for you again?

You must be crazy. No!

- He's my dad but he didn't father me. - You see?

I am married to her mom.

I mean, I used to be...

Henry fathered me. Dad was away and Mom had no condoms.

Is it somebody's birthday? Hey, honey.

A bicycle.

What makes you think that?

- Maybe it's a book of poems. - Can I swap it for an iPhone?

- Why an iPhone? - I already got a bike.

- Tristan... - You didn't?

It's even the same color. It was my idea!

You shouldn't have told me. I wanted to give a cool gift for once.

You'll get a cool gift from me soon.

- Who are you? - I'm Nick. I'm new at school.

- Who are you? - This is Anna.

Hello.

You in Magdalena's class too?

No, I'm Tristan's after school tutor.

You're finally here.

- Where's the cake? - What cake?

Magdalena's birthday cake.

Don't tell me you forgot the cake.

- I called and left you a message! - Work was crazy.

You only had one thing to do!

One damn thing!

Don't freak out. You were the one at home all day.

Yeah, I went shopping, looked after Louis,

decorated, and got the lock broken open.

What lock?

Okay, you'll go out now and get the cake.

No cake. I just want you to love each other.

- Tristan should go. - I want to play with the kids.

- Oh yeah, you're good at that. - Henry, you'll get it. Period.

Tristan can go with him. That would be so sweet of you.

- I'm not sweet. - Yes you are.

Come on. Don't be like that, dwarf rabbit.

Dwarf rabbit?

Maybe I should produce movies too.

Forget about it. It's a job for stable men.

Not for grandpas who mess around with underage pit babes.

Anna's not a pit babe, or a minor.

What do you care? Wasn't ruining my marriage enough?

- I didn't do that. - You screwed my wife.

- Is your dwarf rabbit hopping again now? - What?

- What did Charlotte tell you? - The truth.

The truth? That woman doesn't know what that is.

First she cheats, then dumps a kid on me,

grabs Magdalena's dog, and goes to Mexico because it isn't working out.

- You didn't want that dog. - I'm allergic.

I can't believe she told you such intimate things.

Calm down, dude.

Every man can have trouble getting it up.

But why do you wear wool socks during sex?

My doctor told me to do that. I have cold feet.

Is that why you always turn the light out too?

- What else did she say? - Nothing.

Oh, I almost forgot about your penchant for little animal games.

What now?

Get a cab and take Magdalena the cake. I have to work.

- I really need to talk to you. - Talk to your therapist.

Go on, get out. Scoot!

- Screw you. - That's your pit girl's job!

I have no money with me!

What's up?

Hello Henry. Sit down.

What's wrong?

Schweighöfer will only do your movie if Fichtlhuber directs it.

- You're joking. - Do I look like I'm joking?

- No. - I want you to meet with Fichtlhuber.

Pitch our project to him.

Tell him he can do whatever he wants,

and that he's free to rework your script.

What? The guy's a complete moron!

My script stays just the way it is. Unbelievable!

Josef Fichtlhuber is the star director of international Dogme movies.

Exactly, he made a movie about a woman pulling off her skin!

And he won the Palme d'Or at Cannes for it.

Critics have unanimously declared "Metamorphosis" a masterpiece.

I mean... That's something.

Fewer than 20,000 people saw it!

It also didn't have Matthias Schweighöfer as the lead.

I want him in this movie!

If he wants Fichtlhuber, we'll grin and bear it.

- But, but... - Henry.

I know full well it won't work,

but Matthias longs for the critics' approval.

So we're going to do it. Matthias is my golden goose.

If my golden goose wants to win prizes, then he shall.

I'll make back the money I lose here with "Moritz Moritz 2."

We're talking about my movie here.

No, we're talking about my movie. This is my money.

No Fichtlhuber, no Schweighöfer...

no movie.

Matthias?

- Is that real? - Of course? Want to stroke it?

I meant the gun.

Don't worry. Look.

It's empty.

Isn't she cute?

She's my only friend. She looked right into my soul.

Cats can do that.

- Matthias, you're drunk. - No I'm not.

I'm preparing myself for a part.

- Method! - On that topic...

- She will be in "Patchwork." - What?

The cat will be in "Patchwork." Have you talked to Fichtlhuber?

- No. - Why not?

- He's an art house director. - No more movies with happy endings.

That's what "Patchwork" is!

- Not any more. - What?

In Fichtlhuber's version, I'm not a teacher anymore.

Instead, I'm a psychologically damaged CIA agent,

who drowns his sorrows in alcohol.

His one and only friend is a cat.

- A cat? - Exactly. That was my idea.

The best thing is the ending, when everybody thinks it will be okay,

and the happy patchwork family all love each other.

Then he shoots himself in the head to get rid of his demons.

Not like this.

Not like that. Ice cold, like this.

- It will be awesome. - Matthias, you're drunk.

Go to bed and sleep it off. I'll come tomorrow and we talk again.

Put that thing down, too. It looks ridiculous.

- Ridiculous? - Yes.