Sssssss

Oh. Careful, Doc.

- Easy. - I got it. I got it. I got it.

All right.

- Christ, he's heavy. - Yes, he is.

Doesn't sound like he wants to leave you, Doc.

I'm sure you'll give it a good home.

Oh, yeah. He'll have it real easy.

He'll just lie around all day, you know.

He'll travel a little, get to meet a lot of interesting people.

I kind of envy 'em sometimes. I really do.

Shut up in there!

You got to learn some manners,

before you and me are gonna get along.

- That right, Doc? - It'll settle down in time.

What time is it?

Well, it looks like day is about to pop in.

I'd say about 4:30.

There you are, Doc. That's 800 bucks.

Thank you.

- Aren't you gonna count that? - I trust you.

Boy. Ain't many people ever said that to me before, Doc.

You're a real gentleman, you know that?

And a genius, besides.

Yes, sir. You're a real and a bona fide genius.

First one I ever met.

It's rare to be appreciated for one's failures.

You mark my words, Doc.

You're gonna go down in history as a great man.

You're great man, Doc.

I'm gonna get this show on the road.

- See ya. - Good-bye.

Here we have two of the most commonly confused snakes.

Uh, that is, the snakes themselves are not confused,

But we have a tendency to confuse them.

Let me put that another way.

The difference is,

in the case of the poisonous coral, the red and yellow bands touch.

Whereas, in the case of the non-poisonous king,

the red and yellow bands are separated by black stripes.

Now, a good way to remember that is the old folk saying:

"Red touch yellow, kill a fellow."

And they're off...

Uh, with the exception of Miss Stewart.

Dr. Daniels, I didn't want you to think...

Oh, but thinking comes naturally to me, Kitty.

Just as, uh, apparently...

Red touch yellow, kill a what?

Kenneth Daniels, I'm confused.

Miss Stewart, you'll have to excuse us,

unless, of course, you have a good stomach for bloodletting.

Pretty girl.

Still up to your old vices. Shame on you.

- Here. - No, thank you.

Oh, you might as well.

Neither one of us have very long to live, anyway.

You might as well enjoy yourself.

That's been your attitude for 20 years.

Ahhh.

Now we'll hear about the carefree grasshopper

and the busy ant.

No. Not my field.

Oh, that's right. You're our ophiological expert, aren't you?

The esteemed Dr. Stoner in his country laboratory...

cackling over his bubbling bottles and dripping serum.

The theories I have originated

are now being considered by the world medical opinion.

Considered inconclusive.

Now, let's get to the point.

Since I'm chairman of the department,

you'd like me to recommend an extension of your research grant

for another year.

- Isn't that it? - Look, Ken.

I am not some crackpot who's come in begging, hat in hand.

I've got 30 years in the field of venom research.

I've got 7 books, 63 articles, and monographs.

Please, don't haul out those thumb-worn and yellowed credentials.

Please.

Oh, I feel sorry for you, Carl.

A first-rate mind...

gone to seed.

Well... Well, I suppose I have been a little bit out of it, lately.

As you've said, we haven't got that long to live.

Of course, I need that grant.

I was hoping you might recommend some

bright young student who'd be willing to help me this summer.

I thought you had someone working for you.

I did have, but he left me on short notice.

I'm not exactly sure I want to place one of my students in your hands.

Oh, come on, Ken. You've ridden my ass enough today.

I may be a little self-involved, but I'm hardly Dr. Frankenstein.

You are to me.

You've been a thorn in my side for 20 years.

- I'm sorry, Ken. - It's not Ken.

It's Dr. Daniels, Dr. Stoner.

We can't be friends.

At least, we ought to treat each other with proper accord.

- Agreed. - Say it... "Dr. Daniels."

Dr. Daniels.

Well...

It's about time I had a little respect from you, eh?

You have it... and my gratitude,

if you'll just recommend somebody to help me.

Well, I suppose I could find it in the goodness of my heart.

As a matter of fact, I think I know just the boy.

You got Kitty in trouble. I don't like that.

Oh, come on, Steve. You know he didn't mean to.

If anybody gets a chick in trouble, it's old Steve-O.

Are you going to apologize to her or am I gonna have to make you do it?

I don't think there's anything to apologize for.

- This says different. - What's that, proof of Darwin's theory?

- What the hell does that mean? - It means natural selection.

Survival of the fittest.

- Are you David? - Uh, yes.

- David Blake? - Yes.

- I'm Dr. Stoner. - The herpetologist?

The herpetologist, yes.

I'm into snakes.

Uh, David. Excuse us.

Lucky.

I know the snake...

I can't believe that Dr. Daniels really recommended me for this job.

Why do you say that?

Well, he's just not my idea of a real teacher.

Every time I ask him a question, he just says,

"Why don't you work on that little problem for yourself,

and please spare me the results of your efforts."

That sounds like Daniels.

In the future, let's try to respect each other's questions,

see what happens.

Incidentally, I don't think wisdom will die with Dr. Daniels.

Oh. It's all right, Harry.

This is Harry, my obedient serpent.

Hello, Harry.

Wow. He's a real beauty, isn't he?

Red-tailed boa? - Yes.

Wow. He's hot.

Hey, you're thirsty, aren't you, boy?

Oh. I've got a little something here for Harry.

Here you go, boy.

Can't deny an old man his nip now and then.

After all, in human terms, Harry's almost 63.

I'll just get some water for Harry.

Hey. What gives, kid?

Ah, just helpin' you out.

Helping yourself, you mean?

Now, I am sorry about that,

but maybe that'll teach you to ask before you touch.

Holy shit! Help!

- It's all right. Don't panic. Don't panic. - Get it off!

- Just get it off! - Relax your arm, please.

- Well, just get it off of me. - I will.

David, could you give me a hand, please?

It's his tail that's caught so tight.

Let go, Harry. Let go.

What's the matter with you people, anyway?

You crazy or somethin'? Carryin' a snake around like that in a car!

Sorry, but that'll teach you to ask before you touch.

David, we're home.

Hi, Dad.

I wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow.

Oh, a friend of mine gave me a ride, so I decided to save time and money.

You know, you would be amazed at how much work babies are,

even your sister's.

I missed you.

Grandpa!

Oh. Hello, Jeffrey.

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, this is my daughter... Kristina.

- Kristina, this is David Blake. - Hi.

- Hi. - David's going to be my new assistant.

- Where's Tim? - Tim left.

He left? Just like that?

Illness in the family. His father was seriously ill.

He's a handsome fellow.

You know, I thought he told me his father was dead.

His fath... You're right. It was Tim's uncle.

It's a shame.

The fear that most people have of snakes

is based on the same misunderstanding

that they have about any other minority group.

If they're told that one member is harmful,

then they generalize and believe that they're all dangerous.

It's so stupid.

For example, uh, the hognose is completely harmless.

So much so that he can't even be induced to bite.

Watch me. Watch my finger. See him get away?

See? See him run away from my finger?