Sweet Smell of Success

- All right, fellas, here they come. Let's get with it.

Come on, we haven't got all night. Let's get going.

You loaded? Move it out of here. Move!

Come on, move it out. You - pull in here.

Read about the trouble, folks. Get these papers while they're hot.

- Latest paper here. - Come on, come on.

Keep your sweatshirt on, Sidney. Hold it - latest paper here.

- You want a hot item on Hunsecker's column? - No.

- Two rolls got fresh with the baker. - Here.

Hey, the late paper just came in. Who wants the late paper?

...burn a hole in the rug.

Uh-huh. Just a minute, Mr. Weldon. I think -

Uh-uh.

I'm sorry. I thought I heard Mr. Falco.

Yes, I'll tell him when he returns.

I know he's been trying to get in touch wi-

It's the third time he's called today.

- Probably wants me to break a leg. - No, an arm, he said.

I told him you were sure the item would be in Mr. Hunsecker's column...

- in tomorrow's paper. - It isn't.

But-

And I saw the early edition.

- But, Sidney - - "But." But - but - but what?

That makes five days in a row Mr. Hunsecker's cut you out of his column.

May I rent you out as an adding machine? Get me Joe Robard.

Anybody else call?

Uh, the renting agent and your tailor.

Pay the rent, and tell the tailor to wait.

It won't leave much balance in the bank.

Hello, Mr. Robard?

Could you locate him, please?

Here. Gimme.

Watch me run a 50-yard dash with my legs cut off.

Hey, Joe. Joe, it's Sidney.

How do you like this? I'm running outta alibis.

Oh, no. No, no. I asked J.J. to withhold the item until he could give you a fine, fat paragraph.

- You're a liar, Sidney. - What do you mean, a liar?

Oh, it's a publicity man's nature to be a liar.

I wouldn't hire you if you wasn't a liar.

I pay you a C and a half while you, you plant big lies...

about me and the club all over the map.

- Oh, if that's the way you mean it - - Yeah, I mean in that sense, but also...

in the sense that you are a personal liar too...

because you don't do the work I pay ya for.

Wait a minute, Joe. When I spoke to J.J. last night, he said -

I wish I could help in some way, Sidney.

You could help with two minutes of silence.

I hate to see you like this. Sidney, if you feel nervous -

So what'll you do if I feel nervous?

Open your meaty, sympathetic arms and -

Oh, Sidney, you got me so I don't know what to do.

Ah, Sally, you oughta know me by now.

- I know you. - Nah. No, you don't.

You think I'm a hero.

Well, I'm no hero.

I'm nice to people where it pays me to be nice.

Look, I do it enough on the outside, so don't expect me to do it in my own office.

I'm in a bind right now with Hunsecker.

Sidney, maybe I'm dumb, but...

why does Mr. Hunsecker want to squeeze your livelihood away?

What do you stand for that kind of treatment for?

He's punishing me. His kid sister's having a romance with some guitar player.

He asked me to break it up. I thought I did, but maybe I didn't.

Now I gotta go find out.

And Hunsecker's the golden ladder to the places I wanna get.

Sidney, you make a living. Where do you want to get?

Way up high, Sam, where it's always balmy.

Where no one snaps his fingers and says, "Hey, shrimp, rack the balls"...

or "Hey, mouse, go out and buy me a pack of butts."

I don't want tips from the kitty. I'm in the big game with the big players.

My experience I can give you in a nutshell...

and I didn't dream it in a dream either:

Dog eat dog. In brief, from now on...

the best of everything is good enough for me.

Sidney, I'm not trying to tell you what to do. It -

- It's just that it makes me feel bad when Mr. Hunsecker hurts you.

Every dog will have his day. If that's for me, tear it up.

Sidney Falco office. Take your topcoat.

And leave a tip in every hatcheck room in town?

One, two, three, four, yeah.

Don't you get messages, Eyelashes? I called you twice.

Hey, man, I've been up to here.

Look, you know Susie Hunsecker, J.J.'s sister?

Has she been in? I mean lately. In the last couple of days.

- I don't think so. - Are you sure? Find out for me.

Sidney? Sidney, can I talk to you a minute?

- Have you seen Frank D'Angelo around? - At the bar. Sidney...

I'm in trou-

Joe, give my nephew a drink.

Your nephew doesn't want a drink.

That's a lollipop, that boy. The kid's only great.

With 10 percent of his future, you're great too, Frank.

Frank, I think maybe you lied to me.

Look, Sidney...

you're my own sister's son...

but where does that give you the right to call me a liar?

I thought you said that your boy was washed up with Susie Hunsecker.

Yeah, and it's the truth, to the best of my knowledge...

and frankly, I'm glad - for Steve's sake, not yours.

I handle these boys with their best interests at heart.

Steve shouldn't get mixed up with no bimbo at his age.

Listen, Frank, you better be telling me the truth.

I don't like this threatening attitude.

I told you what I know. Now go make yourself a holiday.

Come to think of it, what business is it of yours what they do, this boy and girl?

If you knew Hunsecker as well as I did...

you might understand why it is my business.

You're walking around blind, Frank, without a cane.

And in case you didn't know it...

Susie Hunsecker's out in the back right now.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you Chico Hamilton, Fred Katz...

Paul Horn, Carson Smith, and myself.

- Hiya, Susie. - Hi, Chico.

Hey, Paul, cool this chick here while I go get Steve, will ya?

This is such an interesting fusion of the traditional form with the new progressive style.

I just wanted to ask how you came to form the group.

Well, we just sort of got together.

Why don't you ask Fred Katz? He writes all the stuff.

- Huh? - Mr. Katz...

I'm very interested in music, in jazz.

What's the answer?

Steve...

I'll try to make you a good wife.

Where's the cat?

- Who? - Dallas. Is he around?

He's around somewhere. Upstairs... maybe.

Thank you.

Look, let's go out later. Come on, I'll get the boys.

Steve, I'd rather you didn't say anything to anybody until I tell my brother.

Oh... you haven't told him yet.

I'm telling him in the morning at breakfast.

Susie, don't you want me to be with you when you tell him?

No.

Steve, my brother isn't as bad as he's painted. He's not perfect -

But he isn't gonna like this, and he makes you nervous, not me.

No, I take that back. He makes me nervous too.

Oh, Steve, let's don't talk about my brother.

I missed you the last few days.

I have a message for you.

I love you.

May I dedicate the next number to you, and the next, and the next?

- And every Sunday I'll buy you a new bonnet. - If the stores are open.

And on Monday I'll take it off and stroke your light brown hair.

And on Tuesday, Hasenpfeffer?

When do you think I realized I loved you?

When I helped you write a beautiful song?

You had me eating that Chinese food.

Hi.

Can more than two enjoy this?

Where are those glossy prints you promised me? I can't place 'em later than tonight.

Thanks very much just the same. Let's forget about it, huh?

Come on, Susie. It's cold out here.

Let me apologize for getting you a press spread.

It's been an honor serving you gratis!

- You know, Falco, I get the feeling you're always snooping around. - You know -

Boys, what are ya fightin' about?

Kill me! Push me through a window somewhere!

I walked into this hallowed ground without knocking.

You know, I feel too good to fight with you, but that isn't what I said. I said you snoop.

What were you doing around my hotel the other night?

- I beg your pardon. I haven't been in the Bowery in years. - Come on, boys, break it up.

Look, the next time you want any information, don't scratch for it like a dog.

Just ask for it like a man.

If you're goin' home, Susie, I'll drop ya off.

Steve, it's time for us to hit again.

- In a minute, Chico. - Okay.

- Headache? - It's all the excitement.

I'll go home and go to bed early, and you go to work.

Okay. Just don't leave me in a minor key?

Don't tell me you've been playing around with Leo Bartha.

No, that's what I mean. I'm bein' fired for what I didn't do.

He came in last week on a real dull, rainy night.

I knew who he was, but I didn't let on.

He kept starin' at me all night. Are you listenin'?

- Avidly, avidly. Um... he was staring. - Starin'.

Consequently, when he approached me on his way out, I wasn't surprised.

He was doing a special Sunday piece on -

Cigarette girls. And naturally -

You were thrilled about being interviewed.

And, uh, were you..."interviewed"?

In his apartment.

- Where was his wife? - I don't know. It's a big apartment.

Only I wasn't interviewed.

In fact, I was totally unprepared for what happened.

Oh, come on, chickie. We're friends from way back.

A big columnist comes into this club without his ball and chain...

and you make like a delicatessen counter.

What did you expect he was gonna do in his apartment?

But Sidney, sweetheart, the man musta been out of his mind.

It was only 11:00 in the morning.

I was so taken aback, I said anything that popped into my sleepy head.

If I'm not mistaken, I think I even ordered the man out of his own house.

He was furious. And by the time I coulda been put in a tropical-island mood...

I was out on the street.

That night Van Cleve calls me into his office.

He's got nothing against me, he says...

only he can't afford to antagonize columnists.

So I tell him how I still have Sonny at the military academy.

Sidney, do you think you could do something?

Uh, that's what I'm thinking, Rita. Maybe.