Kaleidoscope

Hello?

Hello?

Well, I -- I must have just missed you.

Yeah, I just got back so I was wondering

if you could maybe come..

What?

No, it's not a complaint.

It -- it's just, you said it would probably be

some time this afternoon I was sort of

depending on.

Uh, yeah, it, it fills up with water

and then it just -- just stops.

Through here.

Afternoon.

I can't speak.

They're going to leave me to die up here.

You must promise to bury me.

I can always carry you down.

If they don't fix them lifts soon

I'm going to jump down.

Then you'll see how quick they move.

Did you see the police was here?

They found something..

...body parts I heard.

Oh, they didn't have any palm oil

so I went to that shop around the corner.

Oh.

Uh-ah.

I didn't know you cared.

No, no, no, that..

It's -- it's wrong bag. It's all mixed up.

Does she have a name?

Kitten Gloves 35.

So tell me you're not wearing that.

Well, it's -- it's the only clean shirt I've got.

The agency were meant to come round and fix the washing machine.

So have one of Jonah's.

Oh, no, that's alright.

Then what am I keeping them for?

Well, if you're sure.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. We are not available at the moment.

Please leave your name and number after the tone

and we will return your call as soon as possible.

I didn't expect you'd pick up.

Only what it was is..

...I've an, an appointment in London

tomorrow and...well, I was hoping

maybe we could..

But maybe I'll call back.

Fucking hell.

No wonder you gave up smoking.

- In here? - Oh, yeah. Hold on.

- Drink? - Oh, yeah.

You sit down if you like, I -- I'll get you one.

I bet you don't get much gardening done up here.

Oh, no.

That's just my business.

Well, gonna be once I get a van.

Mm.

You've got a businessman's face.

I'd rather have his wallet.

What are these?

Oh, herbs.

Ooh! Huh.

My mum used to buy those basil plants in a pot.

- Ocimum basilicum. - Hm.

But the leaves keep going black.

I think she just likes the smell of it

on her fingers.

Your mum's probably got a touch of black spot.

Uh, it's easier to grow basil from the seed.

Preferably facing the equator.

- Ooh, is that right? - Yeah.

They actually don't like this climate very much.

- Do you mind if I, uh.. - Oh. Yeah.

Oh, cheers.

So, where's all your, em...stuff?

Stuff?

Yeah, you know, stuff.

I don't really have much stuff.

Hm.

Sea breeze?

How did you know that?

You put it down as one of your likes.

Oh, very good.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Oh. - Oh, God!

Sorry, I, I couldn't find any cranberry

so I had to use blackcurrant.

And you?

You haven't had a proper drink all night.

Alcohol a problem, is it?

No, it's just..

- No. - What?

Sends me off.

Where to?

I don't know, somewhere else.

Isn't that the idea?

Have you got any music? iPod or somethin'?

You got a radio?

Oh, that sets the neighbor's dog off.

Aah, that's his problem.

Well, he's pretty aggressive.

What sort of dog is it?

No, I didn't mean the dog.

- Where's your dog anyway? - I haven't got a dog.

You said you had a dog.

- I don't get along with dogs. - On your profile.

You said that you were an animal lover.

Well, animals are okay.

So what else have you lied about then?

No, no, it's was just..

You look at other people's profiles, you..

got to put something down, haven't you?

How many girls have you bought back here then?

- From the site? - Hm.

I don't know, but some.

- Name one then. - What?

A girl that you bought back here.

- Uh, how do you mean? - Come on, you're stallin'.

- Rosie. Rose. - Rose.

Yeah. Up from the country, was she?

Well -- well, what's your real name?

Come on, let's look up her profile.

Where's your computer?

Ah, I use the one at the library.

You're a sneaky snake.

So what does that make you?

- Thirsty. - Same again?

Yep.

And hold the blackcurrant, yeah.

We used to have a dog, years ago.

Before you had to pick up the turds.

How did you end up here then?

Doesn't fit.

You don't fit.

That shirt.

What're you talking about?

It's, it's hand made.

- It's a genuine one off. - Hm.

No wonder.

Would you say that

that I was your sort?

Sorry.

Men, they either go for their mothers

or the opposite.

And I'm guessing..

Um, your nose is, uh..

Oh. Uh.

Um.

- I've got these, do you.. - No, it's alright.

- Are you sure? - Ugh.

Shit.

Telescope.

Are you okay?

You've got to turn that down.

- Oh, come on. - Come on, he'll go mad.

If he's got a problem he can come

and fuck with me.

Were you looking for something?

Uh, cigarette papers.

- I don't smoke. - You don't drink.

You don't smoke, you don't dance.

Maybe you'd rather read a book.

Sorry. What's your name?

- Cheers! - Cheers!

If it sends you off somewhere

I'll come and get you.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Come on.

Yeah. That's it. Come on.

Whoo!

How long since you've been out?

How do you mean?

How do you think I mean?

Come here.

That's it, hold on tight.

Give us a twirl.

No, me.

That's it.

Again.

And again.

Yeah. Whoo!

Oh!

Are you alright? Are you alright?

Abby?

I'm gonna be sick.

I didn't expect you'd pick up.

Only what it was is..

...I have an, an appointment in London

tomorrow and well, I was hoping

maybe we could..

But maybe I'll call back.

This is Aileen's phone. Leave a mess..

This is Aileen's phone.

Leave a message, loud and clear

for an old lady.