Fargo

Back a few months ago,

I was headlinin' a great big nightclub,

and they put me up a couple days early.

I came in a couple days early,

and they put me up in what they call the "Star Suite."

Now here I am,

headlinin' in one of the biggest nightclubs

in the country,

and I wake up at 8:00 in the morning

in this "Star Suite"

all by myself.

Aw!

Yeah, that's what I said, "Aw."

But I did what I've always done, man,

to cheer myself up,

I picked up my guitar,

I sat down, and I wrote me a little song.

Now this is how it feels

to be alone at the top of the hill,

tryin' to figure out why.

Can't wait to look in the mirror.

Help me out now, come on.

To know me is to what?

Must be a hell of a man.

Oh, Lord, it's hard.

-When you're doing what? -(WOMAN MOANING ON VIDEO)

One more time. What are we doing?

-(SOBBING) -(MOANING CONTINUES)

Oh, yeah, Emmit!

Oh, yeah! Nail me, Emmit, harder. Yeah!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Oh, Emmit! Oh, yeah!

Don't stop! Oh, Emmit!

On the sofa, I thought,

unless you're attached to a more classic bed narrative.

Non-descript, though, you know, the furnishings,

so they can't tie it to us.

That's... I think you solved it.

We can keep you in a shirt, hiding your difference.

Maybe in a cowgirl, or a doggy scenario,

favoring our rears, in other words,

keeping our faces slightly absurd.

"Obscured."

What did I say?

I'm glad we're doing this, babe.

Taking control.

This whole time, we've been playing to draw.

It's time we start playing to win.

I know, but blackmail...

We lost the high roller, babe. Zip. Gone.

I know, and I'm so sorry.

It's not your fault.

A day like you had,

I would have stopped for a sidecar, too.

I just lost track...

I know.

This thing with your brother has got us both upset.

To deprive a man of his career,

endanger his female...

I panicked.

You're too hard on yourself.

You rallied, didn't you, in the end?

You're here. We're together.

Maybe I can call the guy, the high roller,

-and say... -What? Really?

'Cause you lost your job at the parole board

on account of banging your clients?

No, because I fell in love.

That's sweet. You're sweet.

Hon.

Where did you go?

I...

Jesus!

I just love you so much.

No. For Pete's sake, I'm wearing a hooker wig!

-Just hold on. -Sorry.

No, just... That's got to be bad luck.

Okay. Now, go.

Babe, you're my everything.

I want we should spend

the rest of our lives together.

You gotta ask.

Oh. Right.

Nikki Swango, will you marry me?

Yes, Raymond Stussy, I will marry you.

Come here.

You've made me the happiest woman ever.

Now, let's make a sex tape.

Hey, hon. -(STELLA SOBBING)

You...

Stella?

What is it, honey?

I'll...

No! Now, hold on!

Don't make a scene, Daddy.

Yeah, Mr. Stussy.

I saw the tape. It's disgusting.

I didn't...

Baby! Baby, I didn't...

I wouldn't! Swear to Christ!

Stella...

Ma says to tell you, "Don't call."

-(CAR DOOR CLOSES) -(ENGINE STARTS)

Stella!

Nail me, Emmit, harder. Yeah!

Oh! Emmit, Emmit, nail me, Emmit!

What the goddamn hell?

You have a fat wife.

Excuse me?

Which part of what I just said is giving you trouble?

This is my office.

A fat woman is inherently untrustworthy

as she is a sensualist who sees no real difference

between a pastrami sandwich and a dick in the mouth.

There's no call for that kind of language.

No.

A female Jew is especially vulnerable

to the zaftig seduction of the forbidden,

being part animal.

What are you doing?

Ah!

Do you know what a chicken is?

-What? -A chicken.

Do you know what a chicken is?

A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg.

You see, it's all a matter of perspective.

The chicken sees it one way, the egg another,

so let's start again.

This is not your office,

just as your wife would not be your wife

if I came to her in the night with a platter of cold cuts.

Sit down, my friend. You have shock.

All is well.

I'm just... I'm not... I need a minute.

No problem, no problem.

Have a drink, you'll feel better.

No. Are you out of your mind?

Nice drink, refreshing.

Are you threatening me?

No, no, no, the whole thing.

Yuri tells me you spoke to the police yesterday.

You can ask her, she came to me.

Not about anything, but there was a...

One of our cars was...

Some kind of accident. A fender bender.

So, you know, unconnected to this completely.

You may have, during the course of the day,

a strong impulse to act.

It's perfectly normal, a man of your station

being forced to play the cuckold.

But remember, it's all a matter of perspective.

What's happening here is good. You and I are partners now.

Contracts have been signed by the majordomo himself.

So, you see, lives are changing for the better.

And all you have to do is review the accounts,

write up the deals,

and approve the paperwork.

Do you understand?

Ah.

Yuri will show you to your new office.

Don't forget your mug.

Emmit?

-It's worse than we thought. -(DOOR CLOSES)

What we talked about. The thing... Are you...

Did they hurt you?

To get you to sign, I'm saying. Did they...

You...

Emmit?

Emmit?