The Rookie

Look out!

That work out the way you planned it, boot?

Check it out. Check it out. I got a bullet in one hand,

cigar in the other, and I said to the chief...

I said, "you pin that medal"

right in the middle."

Right?

Hey, hey, look at that!

Officer John Nolan.

Oh! Grittiest recruit I've ever trained right here, man.

Good to see you. You too, man.

Only long-timers allowed in here, hawke.

You know the rules. I never met a rule I didn't break, Otto,

so go get your old ass over to the bar

and get a drink. Come on. It's on the hawke.

Whoo, sit down, man.

Fun place you got here.

It's a dump, but my credit is so good.

They're like, "oh, I don't know if I got this in me."

Long time ago, man.

Mm.

I tell you, my talents are being wasted at the academy.

Seven years is too long to keep the hawke cooped up.

Ah. Yeah. No, I need to get

back out there on the street, man.

Take a real door, you know, just throw some bullets.

I thought you were trying to get assigned to mid-Wilshire.

Oh, I was, but your captain,

he blocked me.

So, enough about me. Let's talk about you.

So, tell me right now. How's the real thing

compare to the academy? You were right about the job.

It is nothing like the academy.

That's right. That's why I never teach by the manual.

Never.

Well, I wouldn't have been ready if it wasn't for you.

You were the only one who showed me any support at the academy.

It was... there's a whole generation of cops

with the hawke brand on them. You should be proud.

Ah, don't be blowing smoke.

I don't need you to tell me how pretty I am.

Good, because I'm a terrible liar. Yes, you are.

You are terrible.

Okay, mm.

I got to wrap it up. I got to get out of here.

Mnh-mnh! It's a school night,

and I am not good enough at this job to do it hung over.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. Come on. Come on.

You can't tap out on me tonight, no way.

The night is too young, and I am in no hurry

to get back to that motel... none.

A motel?

Yeah. Well, my wife, she, uh...

Uh, she kicked me out months ago. No.

Yeah. It's no big deal.

It's no big deal. Marriages are tough, right?

You've been there. Yes.

I just... I don't know.

I just need to give her, uh... Give her a little space.

That's all.

You know, look, I got a great couch.

Why don't you crash at my place tonight?

No, no. I'm all paid for the week at travel inn,

and I have got clean sheets.

I got cold pizza, premium cable.

Right? Hey, if that's not living the dream, my friend...

Yeah... Then I don't know what is, right?

God. Give me this, pansy.

I've never seen him like that.

He's usually so confident, so self-assured,

so... arrogant.

You know he's living in a motel now?

That's what happens when you try to be big policeman at home.

You end up on the couch.

Tim rode with hawke back in the day.

Damn straight. Craziest six months of my life.

Mm-hmm. Nolan hung out with him last night.

Hawke and Nolan? Oh, yeah.

They were tight at the academy.

They bonded over their shared love of old stuff.

The Beastie Boys isn't old. They formed before I was born.

All right, everyone take a seat.

Got some catching up to do.

Let's go.

First, let's congratulate officer chen

for allowing her t.O. To finish his coffee

before rolling their vehicle.

I see "training" is working out for you.

All right, more pressingly,

midnight shift was flooded with calls last night,

and they left us with their mess.

Let's get started.

Our detectives are working a homicide in larchmont village,

but there are witnesses that still need to be interviewed.

Bishop and Nolan, you'll take that.

And burglary has got a search warrant

that patrol didn't get around to.

Bradford and chen, you'll take that.

Come on, why can't burglary serve their own damn warrants?

Because they don't have the vim and vigor you have,

officer Bradford.

This is yours.

All the faces. Don't worry.

I have pending calls for everybody!

All right, let's go knock 'em out

and show the late shift how real police work is done.

All right, we're serving a search warrant.

You see door hinges?

Uh, the door opens outwards towards us.

And what's a "fatal funnel"?

The first three feet in any doorway.

Not bad. Here's the real test.

Of all the things burglary told us about our suspect...

leshawn halvorsen,

what's most important?

Uh, history of fighting with police.

Wrong. This guy's been served seven search warrants,

spent half his life on parole.

Uh, I'm sorry. I'm not sure I follow.

He's been searched a lot. He knows what doesn't work,

so to find his stash, you'll have to think like a crook.

Can you do that? Of course.

You don't think I can?

I think you were raised to analyze bad guys,

not be one, and to be a great cop,

you got to have a little outlaw in you.

Hinges?

On the inside.

Police. Open up, leshawn.

What's an acceptable amount of time to wait before we bust in?

That had to hurt.

Why don't you like hawke?

He's a throwback. He thinks the good old days

were when the LAPD was 90% white men.

Really? Didn't strike me as that guy.

I'm sure he didn't.

Police department!

Hello? You called last night.

You said you had some information about a homicide,

a stabbing that happened around the corner. Oh, yeah.

Uh, I was waiting so long, I fell asleep on the couch.

Can you tell us what you witnessed?

I'll do better than that. I'll show you.

Come on!

Yo, lady cop,

you can search my place all day.

Get up. Face the wall before I snatch

the other eye out of your head.

You need to learn some respect.

Okay, come on, officer chen. Think like a crook.

When's the last time you hid anything under a couch,

8th grade? You know how many times I couldn't find my phone

and it was under the couch the whole time?

This isn't that.

You ever heard of the dear method?

D-e-a-r? No.

There are four principles of concealment.

First is deception... "d."

Deception shows you one thing

when it's really something else.

Hey, some heads talking about me like,

"that dude ain't true."

"E" is for "elusive."

What appears to be nothing is actually something.

What, what does that make me?

What am I really, though?

"A" for "access." Things hard to get to...

High places, low places.

Which brings us to "r."

"R" is for "repulsive."

Toilets, garbage, porn collection,

anything that makes you want to puke

makes a crook want to hide things there.

You've got to be kidding me.

Might want to glove up.

Saw a box of sex toys in the master bedroom,

and don't forget the toilet.

Search before you flush. Wait.

Uh, why do I have to be "r"?

I don't... I don't want to be "r."

I could be "elusive"

or "deceptive" or something.

I was cleaning the garage, and, uh,

this guy ran in, a guy I'd never met.

He was covered in blood. He had a knife.

I told him, "you're not gonna get far dressed like that,"

so he wanted my shirt.

Did you give it to him? Of course not.

So then what happened?

All those karate lessons paid off.

The knife's on the work bench.

Do I get a medal?

Uh, give us a second.

Sure.

So, do we arrest him, too?

I mean, he kind of kidnapped a guy.

He used reasonable force for a citizen's arrest,

and we can log a collar on 187.

Day's off to a good start.

What the hell?