Louie

No, I like-- my favorite thing to do is sleep now.

I love sleep.

Sleep is like-- that's my thing.

I love it.

And my kids don't let me.

They get me up at 6:00 in the morning.

I don't have to get up 'til, like, 7:00 a.m.

to get them to school.

They wake up at 6:00.

They don't-- I don't even understand this shit...

with getting out of bed before you have to.

They wake up and they're like...

They're so excited and they want to--

I get it, they want to share with me.

"Daddy, look, it's all still here !"

That hurts my brain, 'cause at--

at 6:00 a.m., I'm just--

Uh, I'm so deep in the-- in the deep African sleep,

like it's just an ancient, mysterious,

submerged in a river of warm chocolate, just...

Ahh...

And sleep was like a goddess whore

just sucking me off, just...

Ahh...

She's got a gold helmet and 40 tongues and she's--

Ahh...

And she's speaking in a dead language.

Los stalica forgentila !

Seiz deleca porgentila !

Ahh...

And she's feeding syrupy heroin

into my penis while she's sucking--

For stalica forgentila !

Uh, let this be my life!

Please let this be real, let this be real.

"Daddy !"

No, oh, shit!

"Daddy, wake up !"

Thanks a lot, folks, good night.

Thank you very much.

Hey, good set.

but they sounded happy through the door.

Yeah, thank you.

Hey, man, good set.

Hey, how's it going? All right.

This is my agent, Doug.

This is Steven.

Nice to meet you, big fan.

Thank you.

See you later, man.

Wait, you leaving?

Yeah, I gotta--

Why, what?

After a set like that,

you gotta hang out and get laid.

I haven't done that since I was, like, 20.

I got kids.

I gotta go home and pick 'em up in the morning.

That's a complete waste.

Is that what you do?

You hang out after shows and pick up girls?

Heck no.

I have a family.

I have a wife and two kids

and I'm taking them to Six Flags in the morning.

But you need to stay here and get some tail.

After a set like that,

you own every woman in that place.

You can have anyone you want,

so you need to stay here.

Now just sit down, goddamn it, and wait.

Don't be an asshole.

Can I get a shot?

A shot of what?

Whiskey.

What kind of whiskey?

Just, please, a brown liquid

that makes people feel differently than

if they didn't drink it.

Hey.

That was a really good set.

Thank you.

I know, I was watching you all night inside.

It was really, really good. Really, thank-- That's--

Really, really, really good new stuff.

Thank you, that's nice that you were watching, that's...

Thanks a lot.

Do you have new head shots?

Excuse me?

I need new head shots for the website,

- because I only have the ones from when you were younger. - Sure.

Can you have those sent to the office? Yes, I'll do that, the...

Yup.

Thank you.

I know.

It was amazing, right?

It was amazing, but it was a very long day.

Oh, it was, it was...

15 hours.

But, still, we had a good time, right?

I know, I know, it was wonderful.

Hello.

Hello?

Hi.

The show was terrific.

Oh, you were at--you were at the show? Yes.

Thank you.

Thanks very much.

I've just been sitting out here,

hoping you would come out.

Why were you doing that?

Because I wanna show you my pussy.

Well...

that's-- that's very nice.

I'm glad you enjoyed the show.

So what is-- what's your name?

My name is Eunice.

Eunice.

Where are we going?

My house.

Your house?

You didn't want me to show you my pussy

in the street, did you?

No, no, I didn't--

I didn't want you to show me my-- your--

I didn't want you to show you mou..

It's just that I don't know you

and it's a little weird to be going to your home.

Um, and I didn't-- I-- I--

Are we going to New Jersey?

Maybe.

Listen, I-- I don't know you

and I guess I feel a little funny,

because I'm-- I'm in the middle...

This is-- this is a very nice house.

Yes, well, we're very wealthy.

Hello, darling.

John, this is Louie.

How do you do?

Hello.

Uh, you're-- Jonathan's my husband.

Oh, this is, uh...

I didn't know that you had a--

What did you tell him?

I told him I wanted to take him home

and show him my pussy.

Did she tell you that?

Well...

She said something like that, yes, I--

Well, great!

Let's get started.

Wait a minute, hold on a second.

What's the matter?

You guys wanna do this together as a--

Well, she's my wife.

Don't I get to see it, too?

Yeah, but-- I-- I-- it's just that--

Look.

A man and a woman and me together with a--

I'm not-- I-- I-- I've never done--

You got into the car, you came here with me.

Yeah, but I-- I thought that we would be alone.

And what right did you have to assume that?

Yes.

What right did you have?

Do you guys do this all the time?

Well, that's a bit of none of your business.

Listen, John, I saw your show,

I thought you were very talented,

that really... turned me on,

and I though it might be nice to share you

with my husband.

Listen, whatever you guys are into, that's fine.

I just-- I think I better go.

What's the matter, you don't like my wife?

You're too good for her?

No. Huh?

She's great, I just--

I have kids, I gotta pick 'em up in the morning,

and I-- I didn't...

Well go on, then.

Get out of here.

Can you drive me back to the city?

Well, I really don't wanna go back out.

We have to be up early.

The children have soccer tomorrow.

It's the playoffs.

Can you call me a cab,

'cause I don't even know where I am right now.

I think you better go, buddy.

I think you better leave.

Now!

Hello?

Hey, man, listen, I'm...

I'm stranded out in the middle of New Jersey somewhere.

What?

Who's that?

It's Louie.

I got into a weird thing with some woman and I don't--

I don't know where I am, but could you come get me?