The Tuner (Настройщик)

Ministry of Culture and the Art of Ukraine

And the Film Service of the ministry of Culture of RF

present

Georgy Deliev

Alla Demidova

Renata Litvinova

Nina Ruslanova

in the film

Piano Tuner

You don't happen to be waiting for me?

Could be.

- I'm Lyuba. - Nice to meet you.

Please, sit down.

Wonderful weather today.

Strange.

What is?

I find your behaviour rather strange.

- Why? - It was you who placed the ad.

Yet you force the woman to start

the conversation.

I'm sorry.

You see, I'm absent-minded by nature. Once I engross in thought,

or in reading, I forget about the world.

I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

You are extremely handsome. Are you aware of that?

You have this genuine Russian kind of beauty.

- It's good. - I'm Georgian.

- Beauty is good. - You've convinced me.

And what do you think of me?

I know you saw my photos. But how do you like the real me?

- I find you very attractive. - Really?

Are you being sincere?

It's a good deal, interesting and profitable.

I can't tell you everything now - out of superstition.

And I will need some financial support.

I have to gather the necessary papers, but I'm out of money.

The deal is worth it. It'll be a shame to waste the chance.

- How large is the sum? - It's peanuts really.

If you bear in view the prospects. I made some arrangements.

I wouldn't want to blow it.

- How much? - 300-400.

- I could lend it to you. - No!

- We don't know each other so well. - No, wait.

Through our correspondence I formed an opinion of you.

For now I think

that you are a somewhat strange but decent person.

And I also think life was rough on you.

How long do you need it for? 2 weeks? 2 weeks is fine with me.

Well, all right.

Take it and count it.

- I'm much obliged. - Count it.

You need medicine? I met this character.

He can get anything. A burning deal to Istanbul.

Non-ferrous metals.

- Where to now? - Home.

I'd give you a lift, but my car is no good.

- Something went out of order. - Don't worry.

I'll walk, it's not far. 13 Sevastopolskaya St...

Up in the penthouse. Warehouse of the theatre workshop.

So far they let me stay there out of pity.

- What is this here? Pardon me. - Knitting.

My favorite color. It will be a scarf, English Type rubber?

- I wish. - So what's the problem?

Here, let me show you.

- Careful not to let it loose. - Don't worry, I won't.

This is the first stitch. You simply slip it.

You don't work it, you slip it.

Let's see now. We work 2 loops.

One loop, then yarn over, then slip 2 loops.

- Now work through? - Work one loop, yarn over, and bind off.

2 loops... Then work.

1 loop, then yarn over, then slip 1.

Work 2,

work 1, yarn over, slip.

Work 2, and work even.

Here, now go for it, young lady.

Lena, I know nothing about it, but Lyuba gets nervous.

She says the sound is wrong, and a key is leaping.

She is not a professional, but she loves playing the piano.

And I love to listen to her playing.

Because, even though she is a doctor...

- I must be distracting you. - No, not at all.

- Can I help you, young man? - Thank you, I'm just looking.

Anna Sergeevna, I can call my friends from the conservatory,

And get back to you. But as far as I know,

every pianist has his own tuner.

Your lady friend must have one too.

She had one, but he died 6 months ago.

There's another one, but Lyuba doesn't want to see him.

I don't know why. I think it's something personal.

I placed an ad in a newspaper, but do ask your friends.

All right.

They're relieving me today, I'll be staying home the next week.

Thank you, Lena. Yes, I haven't forgotten about your vet doctor.

You haven't forgotten!

He was away on vacation, but will be back tomorrow.

We'll castrate your cat out of humaneness.

The animal needn't suffer. Do you remember my phone number?

Remind me, just in case.

- 996... - 8-4-5.

8-4-5, that's it. There's your cheese.

It's 8.45. Anna Sergeevna,

look, what a coincidence:

The cheese costs 8.45 -

same as the last 3 digits of your phone number.

Consider that the tuner is a settled issue.

I believe in coincidence.

Yes. Thank you and good by. Have a good rest.

It's outrageous! They sell opened bottles.

If you please.

Raise your arms, please.

Shall I take off my trousers too?

There are gruesome things in life people prefer not to talk about.

They are always unwelcome. For instance, death,

smell of old age, smell of old people's dwelling.

Yes, smell of old people's dwelling...

Chechnya, sick animals.

It's impossible to cross that barrier and get closer.

But we have already crossed it. I beg your pardon.

Cashier, we're out of mutton!

Good day, Maria Ivanovna.

Your breakfast, madam!

The mirror.

Give me the mirror.

- You reading papers? - I need to check something out.

What were you reading at night?

- Stories. - Tell me.

I read about this woman.

Woman-Pope.

There was an Italian hit 'Mama Roma'. Neorealism.

- Don't remember the director. - It's not a film.

You know the Pope. And this was a Popess.

A woman became the Pope.

Only a few chosen were let in on the whole thing.

She hid everything under her fluffy garb.

But then some dude made her pregnant,

and she started to give birth during a ceremony.

Can you believe it?

The choral service, cardinals -

and in the middle of all this she's giving birth.

Interesting, isn't it? Are you asleep?

The Pope had given birth.

Those are unproved facts. No one knows for sure.

- I see. An Apocrypha. - Something like that.

Listen, how's our budget?

Not too good. Why?

I need to pay the fitness club.

I already fixed it. Look, I've become fat as a cow.

And if I quit smoking, it'll be a catastrophe.

Besides I want to take up German.

German?

Yes, why does that surprise you? It's a beautiful language.

And I've been wanting to for a long time.

I heard a song in German on the radio the other day.

And now I want it even more than before.

That happens. It's good to know a foreign language.

This must be it. That's right.

Last numbers: 8-4-5.

What is it?

Nothing. Just an ad. A little job on the side.

You make things roll. Good for you.

I think I'll live with you for a while longer.

Yes. It's me again.

An interesting fact.

Yes. My ex-husband is buried at the 3rd cemetery.

I have a nice 2-room apartment in the downtown area.

And I can't swap this wonderful apartment of mine

for one closer to the cemetery, to my ex.

I'd be willing to take a single-room flat.

I consulted several real estate agents.

No, no one. Strange fact.

Who are you talking to?

Yes, such an unusual situation.

I weighed it all thoroughly.

It's a practical joke.

- Who are you talking to? - Wait!

Seriously...

I decided to leave Andrei, and buy an apartment for myself.

- Who are you talking to? - What?

Yes. Especially so that he

wants to move in with his ex-wife in her 1-room apartment...

And I don't have the money, And he doesn't have the money.

What?

Imagine?

Such an interesting combination.

A very strange story.

Who were you talking to?

No one. I was talking to myself. It was a joke.

I'll live with you for some time longer.

You know my mother doesn't like Jews, half-Jews, quarter-Jews.

She thinks I marry non-Russians especially to spite her.

In part she is right.

I do it subconsciously. I hate my childhood.

You don't love your mother, and I do love my mom and dad.

And they love me. These are the Shah of Iran and princess Soreyah.

The Shah is so cute! Don't you think he looks a bit like me?

Not Armenian, not Georgian. Perhaps a Jew? Mother's mirror.

Oh, my god.

I'll live with you