Killer Party

...of whom may we seek for succour

but of thee, O Lord

who for our sins art justly displeased.

Thou knowest Lord, the secrets of our hearts

shut not thy merciful ears to our prayer

but spare us, O Lord, most holy

O God, most holy, O holy and merciful savior.

'And so we commend Annabel Pitswolly Couslove'

'to the dust whence she came.'

Always keeping in mind the words of advice given

to the tin-man by the Wizard of Oz.

That the size of your heart should be measured

not by how much you love

but by how much you are loved by others.

'Annabel is mourned by her sister Causima'

'by her lifelong friend and companion Mr. Canes.'

'By her loving son Daniel'

'and by her loving daughter-in-law, Stephanie.'

That's it.

Try to have a nice day.

Imbecile.

- Try to have a nice day. - Thanks, Padre.

Could I, would it be alright

if I went back and said a word to her?

Stephanie, really I--

I think she would like that very much.

Well, I'll go warm up the car then.

I think it's very nice..

Mrs. Couslove?

Mom?

I hope..

I hope you rot in hell, you old witch.

I hope you rot in hell. Do you hear me in there?

Do you hear me?

'Oh God. This movie's going to be weird.'

I can't.

April, just...tell me what you want.

- Popcorn. - Now?

I'll get some for ya.

'Oh my God. There's somebody in there.'

'Get her out. Get her out. She's burning.'

'Don't touch her.'

'We can't leave her.'

Hello?

Anybody home?

I just want some popcorn.

Is this some kind of joke?

Customer here.

This is your last chance.

Thank you, come again.

Check it out, Stosh, freebies.

Stosh?

'Back off. Get away from there.'

'I can't.'

Gotcha.

'Get outta there.'

'She's got me.'

'Oh, my God. She's just pulling in.'

'I'm burning. I'm burning up.'

"Phoebe, Jennifer is here.'

Minute, mom.

'Jennifer's here.'

Thanks, mom.

Woo, woo. Hi.

Hi.

- Mmm, want some breakfast? - No, I ate at the dorm.

Oh, come on, have a danish. Hey, where's Vivia?

Oh, I don't know. She's out on the driveway.

Phoebe, I'm suddenly not sure

the sorority thing is such a hot idea.

Are you for real?

Sigma-alpha-pie is the wet dream of this college.

'Won't you girls be late for class?'

Uh, finished, mom. Thanks. Bye.

Come on, let's go.

Hiya, Viv.

Don't talk to me. I'm communicating with this machine

and it demands all of my powers of concentration.

- Your chain broke. - I can fix it.

- Damn. - Come on. Hop on.

Hang on.

- Here we go. - Alright.

'Phoebe!'

Hey, girls. Come on, join the party, y'all.

Hi, girls.

Life has come, pledges.

Everybody knows Sigma-alpha-pie blows.

Bet your sweet ass. Specially you, Goldilocks.

Think long and you think wrong.

This is a big mistake.

Don't you see it, Phoeb?

Don't you feel it?

This is bad.

This is the last step.

You came this far, Jenn.

You just don't throw it all away.

Go on, get out of here.

Are you gonna quit?

I don't know. I have to go to class.

Well?

- They gave us an errand. - You mean you're stayin'?

- Yeah. - Alright!

One more day and this will all be ours.

I can smell the clout.

Bye, Mrs. Henshaw. We're goin' to miss you.

Oh, bye, Pam. Bye, girls. I'll miss you, too.

Still, it's time to move on.

Miss. Henshaw?

Any word on the old frat house?

Are they really gonna re-open it?

That house is still off limits.

Veronica, I want you all to be good Sigma-alpha-pies.

Stay out of there.

Mrs. Henshaw?

I want you to know I'm gonna miss you.

- Yes, may I help you? - Delivery.

Hold it.

- Hey, anybody order soda? - Champagne, toots.

I got a case of bubbly for the Sigma-alpha-pie house.

Champagne? Who ordered champagne?

Well, this is the Sigma-alpha-pie house, isn't it?

Yes.

Well, bring it in.

Kelly, did you order champagne?

No.

Hey, did you guys order champagne?

Hey, did anyone order a case of champagne?

'No, uh-huh.'

'No, we didn't.'

Well, everyone else is out back.

- I got an order right here. - Oh.

Well, alright. Uh, just put it right there.

Okay.

Sign there by the two x's.

Okay.

- So, hell night, huh? - Uh-huh.

Well, I guess you girls are gonna have some fun.

Uh-huh.

Well, I guess that's it.

Well, thanks.

It's all set.

Hurry up.

'I wonder what Mrs. Henshaw is gonna do now?'

'Go to New York. For sex and drugs.'

'No, really.'

- Here, let me throw. - Dude, wait.

Come on, man, I set this whole thing up.

- Right, right, right. - What a set up.

Now, I'm gonna break it up.

'Twenty years with the rooms open and everybody else'

'barking their brains in.'

'She must be hornier than you.'

'Pam, your brains are where you sit.'

'That's why I only date ass men.'

'That's disgusting.'

Bees. Bees!

Oh! Heaven help me.

- Open the door. - Open the door, Melanie.

I can't open it. The door knob's missing.

- Open the door, Melanie. - Oh, my God.

Help me, Mrs. Henshaw.

- We're gonna call the police. - Please, Sandy.

You son of a..

Allan?

'Allan.'

'Allan. They are going to use the house.'

'The girls are holding their goat night here tomorrow.'

But, I suppose they're just laughing away

at having put one over on me.

But, that Veronica, she's so sweet, so sincere.

So-so sorority.