Truth Or Die (Sanning eller död)

May I invite you all to join me in a toast?

Yes, you can.

One year down at uni and we're all still breathing.

- Chin-fucking-chin. - Chin-fucking-chin!

Yes, thank you.

We'll be celebrating later right, Gemma?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, it's going to be a bumpy ride to Heaven and back.

Get off me!

Chris, I've seen you in the shower. You won't be reaching Heaven.

- Screw you, Eleanor. - Without your beretta?

- Just shut the fuck up, all right? - She's only winding you up.

- You're so easy. - Shh... I've got another announcement.

I've got a placement with Grolier & Gaunt.

Hey, well done, dude.

Six months in Edinburgh, starting in September.

Edinburgh.

It's the top six practice. Oil rights, shipping, all the high-powered clients.

It's in Scotland, Paul.

Smile, everyone!

It's not ideal, obviously, but...

It's only a train ride away. At least not America or something.

- You could have spoken to me first. - Yeah.

Uh, no, I just found out this afternoon.

But look, look, look, you're right, I should have got you alone.

- What's up, guy? - Cue the lap dog.

Ah, Lukesta, what's up bro? So...

- What've you got for us? - I've got all sorts.

How's about a drop of the white stuff to kick us off?

- Paul first, definitely. - Oh, no, I shouldn't do it.

- Well, that's the whole point, mate. - Yes.

- Go on. - Okay.

- Been a good night? - Yes.

Keep up the good work.

Boy-O.

- What's up, Felix? - Nothing's up.

- You should make a move. - On Gemma?

End of term, mate, anything goes.

That's not true, actually. Certain things definitely do not "go."

No matter how much you may want them to.

It's just a matter of confidence.

And this is an area where I may be able to help you out.

I'm so horny.

Come on, let's do it dirty, any way you like.

- Hi, Gemma. - Hiya, Felix.

- Can I have a word? - Okay.

I mean, obviously, you're out of my league,

but I thought I'd ask just for clarification purposes.

Ask what?

If you'd like to go out with me sometime

for something like a coffee or a film?

Sit.

Paul.

I don't think of you in the same way as you suspected.

But I'm sure there's someone out there who does.

You just have to be brave and keep looking.

Okay, great, thanks.

Seriously, you're very sweet and polite.

Unlike certain people I know.

So why do you go out with him?

Truth or Dare, everyone.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6...

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Yeah, yeah, get over it.

Truth or Dare, Mr. Gimp?

Truth, probably.

- "Um, truth, probablah." - Truth it is.

Be nice.

So, Felix...

tell me...

if you had a golden ticket...

and you could pick any girl...

or any guy...

to take upstairs for a very quick,

no strings attached, no questions asked shag...

who would it be?

In fact, here...

it is.

Your "free shag" ticket.

Who's the lucky girl, Felix?

Who is it, Felix?

Who's the lucky girl, Felix?

I'm sorry.

I want to play, I want to play, come on.

Come on, let's play, Truth or Dare, bitch? You and me.

Put your knob away, Chris, we're just mucking about.

- Truth. Do I look like a muck to you? - No.

- So why're you pissing on my patch? - I was just...

- Ahem, I was just playing... - "I was just-just..."

- just playing the game. - Oh, just playing...

- You fancy your chances, do you? - No.

No? Well, we better find out what's on offer, then.

- I think Gem should know. - Just leave me alone!

You little shi...

Are you okay, Felix?

I mean, fucking crying, the big fucking girl!

You fucking crybaby doll, get off my fucking fanny!

That was intense.

- You are such a bastard. - And your point is?

Yeah, walk away like a little girl.

Cheers, geeze.

Yeah.

So how was Christmas?

Pretty boring.

It's good to be out and about again.

- You didn't come to McGinty's. - No, I couldn't make it.

- Okay. - How was it?

Gemma was there.

So?

- I'm just saying is all. - You know she chucked me, right?

Yeah, I heard.

I am kinda kicking myself.

She was one sweet shag.

And they said romance was dead.

But it was all that bloody Felix's fault

Right, but that was months ago.

- You sure it's such a big deal? - Yeah, it was to her.

Said she'd seen the real me, blah-fucking-blah.

I tell you what, I wouldn't mind landing another couple of punches

on that twitchy little face of his.

So why exactly are we going to his birthday party then?

I don't know.

Free booze, good times, the usual? His parents supposed to have a fuck-off pad.

Yeah, it's huge.

Proper country house.

Old man's a judge.

Kind of hoping she's gonna be there.

And the petrol, please.

It's, uh, ahem, £35.59.

I feel like sex-on-a-stick in this outfit.

Lucky for Paul.

You'd think.

He's been back a couple of days now and we still haven't, um...

- Think he might've lost interest? - In you?

Hard to believe, right, honey?

- "The Hautbois family own..." - It's the Hautbois family.

- "Hautbois family..." - Yes.

"owns extensive properties in Cambridgeshire and Suffolk."

"Cedar Chase has been the family seat since the 17th century."

"The grounds..."

"include a private lake and several hundred acres of manageable land."

Bugger me, they're loaded.

What's this sudden obsession with money? It's not like any of us are paupers.

Well, El's father filed for bankruptcy over the summer.

Shit! I'm so sorry.

Doesn't buy you happiness though, right? I mean, look at Mr. Gimp, case in point.

Oh, he's all right. He's kinda cute.

In a sweaty, loser kind of way.

Uh, I know he brings out the maternal in you girls or something,

but honestly, I think... I think he's a creep.

Oh, you should write that in his birthday card.

Did, uh, you just use the word "maternal" to describe me?

Are we sure this is the right place?

Woo!

Cor, my main man.

- You all right? - Yeah, to see you.

- Hello, boys. - Hi there, Gem.

- And hi, Chris. - Hi, Luke.

You guys been here long?

Just got 'ere.

So, uh, where's the party?

Hello!

Here we go.

Hi there, we've, uh... we've come for the party.

- The house is closed up. - Uh, we can see that, mate.

We're friends of Felix.

- Friends of Felix? - It's his birthday.

You want the keeper's cabin.

You'll have to follow the track through the woods about half a mile.

Right, uh, thanks.

You'll have to walk.

The track's too rough for city cars.

Oh, okay.

"Welcome to the country, folks."

- Is it just me or is this a bit spooky? - It's just you, pussy.

- What's that? - Do it!

It looks firm enough if we walk on the edge there.

- Uh, sod that, you're carrying me. - What?

Shoes, 300 quid, come on.

Down you go.

Spoken like a true lady.

Paul, be careful! Luke, my shoes! Quickly, before they fall in the mud!

- Oh, my goodness! - Ugh... elegance. Elegance!

Hop on.

Right, here we go.

So...

How've you been?

Good.

Great, actually.