The Hermit

Ooh, shit.

Oh, fuck. Oh.

Hi, everyone. It's your Doris, hmm.

Probably only see this once I have bars again. Um, I'm okay.

This hike just turned out to be

a little more intense than I thought, but I'm okay.

I'm, I'm fine.

I know what to do, and at least this time I'm in America,

and everyone speaks English here.

My compass seems to be acting up,

um, but it's gonna be fine.

I'll be home before dark. I promise.

I love you all. Be safe out there.

Oh, fuck, I'm lost.

Ooh.

What the fuck?

Excuse me, sir!

Hello.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to disturb you in your home, um.

Okay, I, I see that you are busy,

but the thing is, I, I'm lost.

I would just like you to point me in the direction

of the lake and campground.

Sir, are you listening?

What the hell? I'm, I'm lost.

Ah, sorry!

I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I start,

- I'm sorry I startled you. - I...

I'm so sorry. Super, super sorry.

Are you,

are you hard of hearing?

- Hmm? - Is everything all right?

No, no, no.

No! No!

No!

Too skinny.

Protect Mama from intruders.

- Horror and despair in Upstate New York.

Countless victims.

Modern day "Sweeney Todd."

Previously presumed missing,

Lisa Phoenix, 18, was found...

- What everyone wants to know is how and why?

- What might a visitor find in the refrigerator? Some fruit?

A juicy steak?

For 18-year-old Lisa Phoenix,

the findings were far more ghastly.

Cut.

You good?

No. She's 18.

This feels very exploitative.

It's news.

And you're the only one she's willing to speak to.

It's a feather in your cap.

You wanna be taken as a serious journalist.

What do you want your legacy to be?

I'm sorry.

Was that supposed to be Barbara Walters?

- I'm not very good at impressions.

Come on.

The kid has been through hell.

She deserves a moment in the sun.

You're helping her.

I hope so, but...

"Scary hermit in the woods

has been collecting bodies for years."

Come on. You know that's too simple.

The cops have been making the same mistake over and over.

Every skull they pull out of that farm

just proves their laziness.

Everyone is just letting the narrative play itself out.

No one is digging.

But if you ask me, the story they're selling

is just too skinny.

Maybe.

Her interview

is the last piece of the puzzle, the glue.

Without it, we just spent weeks interviewing rednecks

and hillbillies for no good reason.

This will be your Daytime Emmy.

- You did get tobacco spit on your shoe,

and that had to be a fortifying life experience.

No. Uh!

I swear I can still feel it.

- How are you feeling, Lisa?

Wow.

Starting off with the easy questions, huh?

Hmm.

I'm finding ways to be hopeful again.

How about your day to day?

Have you been able to get some rest?

- Are you a shrink? 'Cause I've seen a lot of those.

- No, I, the world is just amazed

that you made it through all that you have.

What does the other side of Hell look like?

I'm cool.

Um, ah, good vibes only.

- I just wanna know what happened,

uh, through your eyes.

Okay.

Why don't we start

from the very beginning?

How did that day start? You woke up and you...?

- I woke up and, um, I made breakfast for Eric.

- So what's on the menu today?

Just a bacon egg sandwich.

- And he can't make his own breakfast because?

Because I want to.

Why do you always have to piss on things?

- Lisa, you've known this guy for maybe three months

and you're once again obsessed.

- So what? He's sweet.

I like him. - And you wake up every day

early to cook him breakfast?

What are you, his personal chef?

I heard he was busted for shoplifting at Target once.

He's a little weirdo.

- Yeah, he told me that story. He has a problem.

He's working on it. Okay?

He's human. He's not perfect.

You get so clingy

and you let these guys step all over you.

Are you a doormat, Lisa?

You need to find somebody who can really take care of you.

Okay? Somebody who is kind and sweet.

Uh, right, says the bitch

who finds all of her dates on Tinder.

- Look, leave me out of this.

Finding a good guy is a real issue. Okay?

Jokes aside, how are you feeling about this weekend?

I could be better.

- Lisa, you're gonna be late for school!

- That your dad? - Yeah.

- Okay, it's been a tough year for both of you,

so try not to be too angry.

Okay? - I will.

I'll try.

- So your mother passed away not long before that?

- Yeah, it was eight months before,

but I was starting to feel better.

I, I was, tried to stay away

from people, honestly.

Everyone kind of looked at me like they pitied me.

I couldn't take it.

Eric was the only one who didn't really seem to care.

- This is why you guys were going to Lyndon Park, right?

This was your family tradition?

We would go every year.

My dad was dead set on finding a different spot this time.

I guess it was too painful for him to go without her.

- I hope you don't mind me asking, how did your mom...

Lung cancer.

I see.

- Funny though, 'cause she wasn't even

the one who was smoking.

- Lisa, it's a family tradition. Family.

And he's my boyfriend.

Will you stop smoking that in our living room?

- You just met the guy. - And why does that matter?

He makes me feel good.

- Oh, I'm sure. - Oh, please

- Look, I understand if you feel

like slutting around a little bit,

especially after everything we've been through

"Slutting around?"

You're disgusting.

Watch the way you talk to me.

- You're a few whiskeys away from drinking your way to Mom.

I said, watch your mouth.

- I know about Mary, by the way.

- I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

- How does it feel fucking her friend right before she died?

Enough!

I'm just glad your mother's not here

to see you act like this.

- You're a pathetic fucking asshole!

Oh.

- I guess he felt guilty about that.

Spoiled little brat.

- After he sobered up the next day,

and he told me to invite Eric on our fishing trip.

- You know how it is, parents aren't always

the easiest relationships to manage.

Yeah.

Pig fucker. Pig fucker.

Pig fucker. Pig fucker.

Pig fucker. Pig fucker.

You stupid pig fucker!

Lisa, are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Do you wanna take a break?

No, not now.

The, the drive up was really fun though.

- But you made a pit stop before the lake.

Oh, yeah. The gas station.

- Owned by Barry and Helen Anderson.

What can you tell me about them?

That they owned a shotgun.

- What the fuck are you doing out here?

Can you come to the front? We have clients.