Burglar

Hello?

Did you do it?

Did you do it?

Not yet.

Do it now.

Go in now.

I'm not ready.

The guy runs 20 minutes every morning.

What else do you need to know?

Ray, I'm telling you, this guy is dangerous--

Hello?

* I see *

* every move you make *

* there's nothing you can do *

* to get by me *

* my, my profession *

* baby, I'm a thief *

* wanna shake your hand *

* it's true, you'll see *

* I look for silver *

* for China, maybe gold *

* makes lots of things *

* something I can hold *

* you've really tried this time *

* I'll get my guilt while it's on my mind *

* ah, baby *

* all this fun can be no crime *

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

* try and catch me *

* each and every time, I'll get away *

hello?

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Got a package for this address.

Can you sign for it?

Thanks a lot. Have a nice day.

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

* try and catch me *

* each and every time *

* I'll get away *

* when times get rough *

* I take a look inside *

* I always found the things *

* you tried to hide *

* with each new day *

* your chances will increase *

* who'll be the next victim *

* of the thief? *

* you've really tried this time *

* I'll get my guilt while it's on my mind *

* ah, baby *

* all this fun can be no crime *

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

speak to me. Speak to me.

Ha ha.

Mmm-hmm.

Ok, honey...

Let's see what you got for me today.

Don't rush to come out, now.

Everybody gets a turn.

Very nice.

Come to mama.

Got you, you bastard.

I seen 'em! I seen 'em!

I seen 'em!

I seen 'em!

I seen 'em from the street!

They was runnin' and duckin'!

Hey!

What's going on here?

What is she saying?

What's going on?

I've been robbed!

They come through the hedge!

How many were there?

I don't know! 2, 3 dozen.

Who were they?

Colored boys! Maybe not!

Where did they go?

Through the hedge!

Who are you?

I work for miss ornstein!

I don't know what to do!

Let's go. You, too.

No! no! I got to go to work!

Wait here!

No, come on. Let's go.

I think I see him. This way.

I got to stop doing this shit.

Get...

Please...

Get in...

I mean, first the guy with the packages comes.

Then Mr. I'm-a-jogger- for-my-health,

he comes back.

Then his friend shows up.

I've been watching this place

for 3 weeks.

Nothing ever changes.

It's always the same.

I got to open up. It's close to noon.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Are you from here or from out of town?

Hi. may I speak to Abel Crowe, please?

Oh, really?

No, no message. Thank you.

May I speak with Abel Crowe?

All right.

Would you tell him the rare book

he ordered has come in? Yes.

No, he'll know. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Hi. is this it?

Yep, that's it.

Hold on one sec. Sure.

Uh...what's that all about?

That? nothing. Don't worry about it.

This is it, huh?

Yeah.

Ok, let's see. With federal,

state,

and local tax,

it's 56.67.

What?

That's right, 56.67. That's what it says.

These machines don't lie.

What, are you on drugs something?

I got a used paperback.

Drugs? is that what you have in the bag?

No.

What's in the bag?

Look, what the hell is this?

Open the goddamn door.

You going to make me?

If I have to, yeah.

I got a Smith & Wesson under the counter, man,

pointing at you,

and if you if you don't hurry up,

I'm gonna shoot you right in the dick.

You can't do that.

Are you kidding? Of course I can do that.

In this neighborhood,

I can shoot a customer a week

and get away with it.

I can't believe this is happening.

You want to hurry up?

You're holding up my other customers.

I don't have $56, all right?

It's gonna cost you 60.

I didn't know you had this one.

Hey, lady, fuck you.

In that case, put the books on the counter.

Yeah, sure. Sure.

And don't you ever, ever try to steal

anything from me again,

you understand that?

Yeah.

Ok. get the fuck out of here.

Yes. thank you.

You're welcome. Have a nice day.

Babe.

That's about the most bizarre thing

I've ever seen,

and I was a cop for 25 years.

Usually, the customer holds the proprietor up.

That's how it's supposed to work, Bernie.

They come in here, they hold you up.

How'd you get in here?

You left the back door unlocked.

I couldn't have gotten in otherwise

because I don't know how to pick a lock.

You got a permit for that gun?

They giving ex-cons permits these days?

Ray, I'm busy.

Yeah, yeah. You look busy.

What do you want?

What do you think I want?

I want $20,000 payable today right now.

And I want a mink coat for my wife.

I'm getting tired of asking for that, Bernie.

Ray, at the end of the week,

everything's gonna be very cool.

I give you my word.

I don't think so. Why not?

Abel Crowe died last night of a massive heart attack

at the St. Francis hotel.

Probably had a cholesterol count of around 2,000.

So you better find another receiver for that stamp

very, very fast, my darling.

Who do you know that takes stamps?

Not my problem. My problem

is waiting around for you to get the job done.

Ray, I'm not gonna do something that's stupid,