Swallow

Attention, please. Your attention, please.

Um, I hate to pull you away from your lamb and cabernet

but I just want to make a quick announcement

about my son, Richie.

Tonight, we are making him the youngest managing director

in the history of our little company.

Well done, kiddo. You earned it.

Well done. Come on. Stand up, Richie.

Come on. Get up there.

You know, I, I couldn't have done any of this

without my beautiful bride, Hunter.

She is, and has been,

so giving, selfless

Well, she is the light of my life.

Aw!

Oh, uh, my folks bought us a house

so thank you very much for the house.

You're radiant, you're blessed, you're inspiring.

Keep on shining with new Oradine

Whitening Toothpaste and teeth strips.

Our enamel protection technology allows you

to eat whatever you want and keep smiling.

Oradine.

Wow! Look at you!

Did you miss me?

Mm.

This is great.

I think there's room for a flower bed out back

near the pool.

I'd like to plant some if that's okay.

Oh, yeah? What kind of flowers?

Tiger Lilies, Tulips, Morning Glories.

Sorry, babe. One second.

-I just gotta respond to this -Okay. Sure.

It's a great name for a flower, isn't it?

Morning Glories.

Like the glory of an awesome morning.

I like mornings more and more these days.

This house has great light.

I feel so lucky.

Hm?

I feel so lucky.

Hm.

Ma, we're pregnant.

Yeah.

Yes.

I know.

I will.

Ah, wow!

Wow! Wow!

Wow!

Just

-Whoo! -There we are.

Darling, what a day!

-Yeah, yeah, this is fun. -Good news!

-Hi, sweetheart. -Hi.

Look at this.

The future CEO of our company, right here.

Right here.

I was in labor for 30 hours with Richie.

He didn't wanna come out. He had it made in there.

30 hours. And then, he was born blue.

-Blue? -Slate blue.

We all thought he was dead

but then he started breathing and crawling.

And sucking on the cat's tail.

-What? -Yes. Yes.

Uh, apparently, I prefer the cat's tail to my pacifier.

The cat's tail was always wet.

You know, Hunter was a crazy kid, too.

Tell them about the, uh What was it?

The, the guy on the side of the road who, uh

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it. -That's not--

Do it. It's good. It's good.

Come on.

-This is great. -Ha-ha-ha!

It's not really a story.

Um, there was this guy

kind of this local nutcase

and he would stand on the side of the road

into town and he would blow kisses

at all the cars passing by.

And at first, he scared me

because he had this beard

and dirty hair and bad teeth.

Uh, it was like this religious calling or something.

-He had to blow, -Oh, by the way, Richie

Uh, before I forget, how was it left with the Carver people?

They sent over the contracts and it's being e-signed

because one of the partners is in Africa

on a safari or something like that.

As of when? I didn't know. I wasn't aware of this.

-Apparently, he took the kid. -Really?

-There he is -I didn't know about that.

Closing the deal.

Alright. Gotta keep up on these things.

Yeah, I, I'll, I'll email him first thing Monday.

-Okay. Good. -I'll get right on it.

He's on safari. No, really.

Oh, oh, well, if he's on safari--

-No, I mean it. I mean it. -I know.

-Okay, fine. -But he's, I mean, he's out

It's not like you get internet.

the Sahara somewhere.

It's fine. I don't care.

I don't think there's anything to worry about.

Sorry.

This ice is totally awesome. Mm!

-Aah! -Sorry, darling.

I let myself in.

-You gave me such a fright. -Obviously.

I just wanted to bring this over.

Self-help book.

I read it when I was pregnant

and it really helped with the postpartum.

Oh, my gosh. I love it.

I'm making lunch.

Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

-Can you stay? -Oh!

-I wish I could. -I can make something else.

No, no, no. Don't bother. I better be going.

You would look so pretty with long hair.

You should grow it out.

Richie likes his girls with long, beautiful hair.

What are you so happy about?

I'm proud of myself.

I did something unexpected today.

What?

You promise you won't laugh if I tell you?

Promise I won't laugh.

Uh

the drapes.

I chose sky blue drapes for the theater.

Oh. Cool.

That's not so unexpected.

You sure that's the right color, though?

It's a little hipster.

I think it works.

And you said that I could choose.

I did. And you can. Of course you can.

It's up to you. I like unexpected.

Come here.

Do I make you happy?

I'm the happiest man in the whole world.

I love everything about you. Every little thing.

You're not mad at me?

About what? The drapes?

I don't know.

I just wanna make sure I'm not doing anything wrong.

You're not.

You couldn't do anything wrong

even if you tried.

Mm.

Okay, okay, okay.

Babe?

Babe, did you iron this tie?

Uh

Yeah.

It was wrinkled.

You can't iron a tie like this.

It'll permanently damage the silk.

It has to be steamed.

You see?

Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.

Do you have another tie you can wear?

Not one that goes with this shirt.

Fuck.

Now what the hell am I gonna do?

It's okay.

New Medical evidence suggests that

consuming your placenta after giving birth

can level off your hormones, increase milk production

and lower chances of postpartum depression.

Your placenta can be dried out and converted

into daily dietary supplements.

Hi!

Yeah.

I'll be right over!

Bye.

Good. Great.

I wanted to be an artist too, you know.

-Really? -Mm.

Well, an actress.

Oh!

I could see that. You're a knockout.

Thank you. So are you.

Thank you.

So what did you do for money before you met my son?

Retail, mostly.

-Selling things in a shop? -Yeah.

Selling what?

-Toiletries. -Oh!

Bubble bath, body wash.

Soap.

Well, lucky break you meeting my son.

Yeah.

I would go to these illustration job, um

advertising interviews

and, and it wasn't like they were gonna hire me anyway.

I'm just real grateful