Mad Men

I don't care if it's windy or rainy, there's no reason for a shake roof to fail

If it's laid right--

Except that one.

No flashing around the chimney-- that's gonna cost 'em.

Go around!

Now I'm gonna push it up

To 25mph. That's what we're allowed to do here.

You've gotta really pay attention.

15 minutes of news and nothing about the holy father.

He's still dead, ma.

The shower cap pulled up? - Yes.

Piece of junk.

If you want, I'll have gerry come over and fix your shower.

It was fixed, but I think ronnie the super sneaks in and breaks it.

For all I know, he's going through my things right now.

You don't like getting a little bit of attention?

Anita, this man does not look the way you want him to.

I'd offer you a room, but since mom moved in, I don't have it.

I want to move to manhattan.

Really?

It's so far away.

It is far,

And I commute almost two hours total every day,

Five days a week.

That's an extra week of work each month.

My goodness, I never thought of that.

Pegs, the rents there-- they're outrageous.

I know, but I'm already spending a fortune between subway fare,

Cab fare on late nights, pantyhose--

If I can't find a newspaper, the cane on the seats destroys them.

And it'll be easy with that savings and a roommate.

Jeez louise, you've been really thinking about this.

Ma! That's not good for it!

Why don't you move in here and we send her to manhattan?

Are you going to be one of those girls?

I am one of those girls.

Well, ho-ho, I've observed your wishes for secrecy,

But now is the time.

Gentlemen...

Imagine the perfect mixture

Of athletics, spectacle and speed.

Jai alai.

Jai alai is like handball,

Only you fling the ball and catch the ball

With this basket thing.

It's more complicated than that... And dangerous.

I'll leave the loose-leaf,

But it shows the way jai alai attendance is growing.

In seven years, it'll eclipse baseball.

Go ahead, you can laugh,

But it's got the same fingerprint as baseball, only better.

A special stadium called a fronton

And you can sit real close, which is a thrill

Because the ball goes 175mph.

And it's got patxi.

He's babe ruth, only handsome.

This is patxi.

I was looking for boxers, but I bought his contract instead.

He's the greatest player in the world.

Mel ferrer.

I'm terrified of him catching balls in the face.

So let's say

There's enough money.

How would you chop it up?

Well, most of it's going to end up in television.

Perfect, because I want a tv show.

- A sports show? - Did you see patxi?

You don't see him flying around the world,

Solving crimes and banging broads?

Harry has excellent relationships with the networks.

Well, it'll probably have to be abc.

No no.

I want to be on all the networks,

Like when the president addresses the nation.

Tuesday night, 8:30-9:00,

All three networks-- the same show.

No one's ever done it.

Because...

That's true.

How about a star-studded

Big musical special with a jai alai match.

- Desi arnaz. - What else you got?

- Well, there's print. - Women's magazines.

A glamorous night in miami

- With a free admission. - Tuesday night is ladies' night.

And of course newspapers are key, but you can't limit yourself to less than 10 markets.

This is impressive.

- Don't get up. - Horace, this is don draper.

I told you he'd be stopping by.

Don't let me interrupt.

So far for the jai alai campaign:

Sterling cooper will produce an adventure program,

Starring your handsome fella,

- A musical spectacular-- - on all three networks and it has to be in color.

CBS doesn't have color.

Fine. I'd like to get the ladies' magazines in color

And maybe a color page in the Sunday paper.

What about radio?

You'll have to take radio the way it is.

I don't think it's worth anyone's time

Unless you're willing to commit to at least

$1 million to start.

Sure, but that's a third of my ad budget.

Well, as they used to say at the freshmen mixer,

"when you get a yes, you go home."

Only, humps, you never got one.

Listen, draper, I'd love to buy you dinner,

- Run some slogans by you. - Actually, ho-ho,

We buy you dinner.

That was fun.

I'm going to have to buy campbell a case of something.

Patxi.

During the depression, I saw somebody throw

A loaf of bread off the back of a truck.

It was more dignified.

Are you going to have trouble sleeping tonight?

I've seen clients far more defenseless than he.

Well, as the bible says,

"enjoy your fatted calf."

Campbell, did you tell him who this idiot's father is?

He said he's a shipping magnate, not a client.

Horace senior is connected to bert cooper in a million ways,

And I don't know if he would like what just happened in there.

You want to run it by his daddy?

He's my age. So he was born with a lot of money.

He has a dream and it's our job to make it come true.

Well, there you have it.

Nicely done, my boy.

Elizabeth.

Get off your feet. It's bad for the baby.

As soon as I finish the dishes.

Sit with me.

You're cleaning up for the maid.

You're just like your mother.

I don't like watching you commit suicide.

Neither do your kids.

What do you want, daddy?

It's-- it's all laid out in here--

My arrangements. Just follow the directions.

I don't want to talabout this.

We talk about it now and then we don't talk about it.

- That's the idea. - Fine.

Jesus. Smoke your cigarette.

Funerals are a dishonest business.

People don't want to think about it-- that's how they get you.

Remember what happened with your mother?

The will's translucent, transparent or something

According to the lawyers. You run the show.

You took me in.

Anything else?

I want you to have your mother's coats.

I gave judy the hudson seal,

But I want you to have the chinchilla

And obviously the mink.

They're in the cedar closet.

They key's in gloria's end table.

Okay, daddy.

You don't want to hear about it,

Scarlett o'hara?

I have the folder.

Oh, you've always been sensitive.

That's my fault for shielding you

From all the dangers out there

That's probably why you married this joker.

If you'd even known what was possible...

But that's that. I wrote it down.

We never have to talk about it again.

I don't understand why you like talking about this

When you can see so clearly that it upsets me.

You're being selfish and morbid.

I'm your little girl.

And I know it must be horrible

To be looking at whatever you're looking at,

But can't you keep it to yourself?

What kind of mood is he in?

I'm never right.

- Has anybody been outside? Do I need a coat? - I'd take it.

Don, george caan dropped out of patio

To direct a picture in l.A.

I look forward to his average work. Replace him.

There's no time and there's no talent.

What were you going to do if you had to fire him?

- Have sal do it. - Are you serious?

- Sal, do you want to do it? - Of course I do.

It sounds good, but it makes me very nervous.

It's lifted straight from "bye bye birdie."

It's a single shot. Sal did the storyboards.

I could go on, but I don't think I should have to.

- Alison? - Keen's chophouse.

Thank you, don.

Tag. You're it.

Hey. You don't want to cut towards yourself.

There we go.

I've got some great things in here.

This is an exact imitation

Of the gettysburg address.

- You know about honest abe? - He learned to read by candlelight.

That's right.

Well, I'll be.

Don.