Caesar and Cleopatra

(Dice Rattling]

By Apis!

Persian, thy gods are good to thee.

Try yet again, O Captain. Double or quits.

No more. I'm not in the vein.

Captain! A stranger approaches!

Stand! Who goes there?

The bearer of evil tidings.

(Captain] Pass him in!

(Laughing]

Who art thou that laughest in the house of Cleopatra the queen...

and in the teeth of Belzanor, the captain of her guard?

I am Bel Affris, descended from the gods.

- Hail, cousin. - (Others) Hail, cousin!

All the queen's guards are descended from the gods... save myself.

I am a Persian descended from many kings.

Hail, cousins.

Hail, mortal.

You have been in battle, Bel Affris, and you are a soldier among soldiers.

You will not let the queen's women have the first of your tidings.

I have no tidings...

except that we shall all have our throats cut presently...

women, soldiers and all.

I thought so. Tell us what befell.

- Aye! Tell us! - Tell us! Tell us!

Know then that I serve in the guard of the temple of Ra here in Memphis.

We went to Alexandria to inquire of King Ptolemy...

how we of Egypt should deal with the Roman, Pompey...

newly come to our shores after his defeat by Caesar at Pharsalia.

Caesar defeated Pompey? Does Roman, then, fight Roman?

Even as Egyptian fights Egyptian.

What did you learn from the queen's brother, Ptolemy the pretender?

We learnt that Caesar is coming also in hot pursuit of his foe...

and that Ptolemy has slain Pompey.

Nay, more. We found that Caesar is already come.

For we had not made half a day's journey on our way back...

when we came upon a city rabble fiying from his legions.

And ye the temple guard... did you not withstand these legions?

What men could, that we did.

But this Caesar throws a legion at you where you are weakest...

as he throws a stone from a catapult.

And that legion is as a man with one head, a thousand arms... and no religion.

- I have fought against them, and I know. - (Soldiers Chortling)

- Were you frightened, cousin? - (Laughing)

- No, cousin, but I was beaten. - (Laughing)

- Could you not die? - There was no time.

All was over in a moment.

But now I am come to warn you that you must open your gates to Caesar...

for his advance guard is scarce an hour behind me...

and there is not an Egyptian warrior left standing between you and his legions.

- Woe! Alas! - Nail him to the door! Quick!

Now this news will run through the palace like fire through stubble.

What shall we do to save the women from the Romans?

- Why not kill them? - Because we should have to pay blood money.

Better let the Romans kill them. It's cheaper.

- O subtle one. O serpent. - But your queen.

True. We must carry off Cleopatra. I will take her on the crupper of my horse.

- (Women Screaming) - Fly! Fly!

- What's the matter now? - The sacred white cat has been stolen!

Hail, Sphinx.

Salutation from Julius Caesar.

I have wandered in many lands seeking the lost region...

from which my birth into this world exiled me...

and the company of creatures such as I myself.

I found fiocks and pastures, men and cities...

but no other Caesar...

no air native to me, no man kindred to me...

none who can do my day's deed or think my night's thought.

In the little world yonder, Sphinx...

my place is as high as yours in this great desert.

Only I wander, and you sit still.

I conquer, and you endure.

I work and wonder.

You watch and wait.

Sphinx, you and I... strangers to the race of men...

are no strangers to one another.

Have I not been conscious of you and of this place since I was born?

Rome is a madman's dream.

This is my reality.

My way hither was the way of destiny...

for I am he of whose genius you are the symbol-

part brute, part woman...

and part god.

Nothing of man in me at all.

Have I read your riddle, Sphinx?

(Woman] Old gentleman.

Immortal gods.

Old gentleman, don't run away.

"Old gentleman, don't run away"?

- This toJulius Caesar? - Old gentleman.

Sphinx, you presume on your centuries.

I'm younger than you, though your voice is but a girl's voice as yet.

Climb up here, quickly, or the Romans will come and eat you.

A child at its breast.

A divine child.

Come up, quickly.

You must get up at its side and creep round.

Who are you?

Cleopatra, queen of Egypt.

Queen of the Gypsies, you mean.

You mustn't be disrespectful to me, or the sphinx will let the Romans eat you.

Come up. It's quite cozy here.

What a dream.

What a magnifiicent dream.

Only let me not wake.

Take care.

Ah. That's right. Now sit down.

You may have the other paw.

It is very powerful and will protect us...

but it wouldn't take any notice of me or keep me company.

I'm glad you've come. I was very lonely.

Did you happen to see a white cat anywhere?

Have you lost one?

Yes. The sacred white cat. Isn't it dreadful?

I brought him here to sacrifice him to the sphinx.

But when we got a little way from the city, a black cat called him...

and he jumped out of my arms and ran away to it.

Do you think that the black cat can have been...

my great-great-great-grandmother?

Your great-great-great-grandmother?

Well, why not? Nothing would surprise me on this night of nights.

I think it must have been.

My great-great-grandmother's great-grandmother...

was a black kitten of the sacred white cat.

And my blood is made with Nile water.

That is why my hair is so wavy.

What are you doing here this time of night?

- Do you live here? - Of course not. I am the queen.

And I shall live in the palace of Alexandria when I've killed my brother who drove me out of it.

When I'm old enough, I shall do just what I like.

I shall be able to poison the slaves and see them wriggle...

and pretend to Ftatateeta, my nurse, that she's to be put into the fiery furnace.

Meanwhile, why are you not at home and in bed?

Because the Romans are coming to eat us all.

- You aren't at home in bed either. - Oh, yes, I am.

I live in a tent, and I am now in that tent fast asleep and dreaming.

Do you suppose I believe you are real, you impossible little dream witch?

You are a funny old gentleman. I like you.

That spoils the dream.

Why don't you dream that I'm young?

I wish you were. Only I think I should be more afraid of you.

I like men, especially young men with round, strong arms.

But I'm afraid of them.

You are old and rather wrinkly.

But you have a nice voice, and I like to have someone to talk to.

Though I think you are a little mad.

It is the moon that makes you talk to yourself in that silly way.

Oh, you heard that, did you?

I was saying my prayers to the Great Sphinx.

- But this isn't the Great Sphinx. - What?

This is only a dear little kitten of the sphinx.

Why, the Great Sphinx is so big, it has a temple between its paws.

This is my pet sphinx.

Tell me. Do you think the Romans have any sorcerers...

who could take us away from the sphinx by magic?

Why? Are you afraid of the Romans?

Oh, they would eat us if they caught us. They are barbarians.

Their chief is called Julius Caesar.

His father was a tiger and his mother a burning mountain...

and his nose is like an elephant's trunk.

They all have long noses and ivory tusks and little tails...

and seven arms with a hundred arrows in each.

And they live on human fiesh.

Would you like me to show you a real Roman?

No. Oh, you're frightening me.

No matter. This is only a dream.

- It is not a dream. It is not a dream. See? - (Yelps)

How dare you!

You said you were dreaming. I... I only wanted to show you.

Oh, come, come. Don't cry.

- (Sniffiing) - A queen mustn't cry.

Cleopatra, can you see my face well?

Yes.

It is so white in the moonlight.

Are you sure it is the moonlight...

that makes me look whiter than an Egyptian?

Do you notice that I have a rather long nose?

- It is a Roman nose, Cleopatra. - (Screams)

Bite him in two, sphinx! Bite him in two!

I meant to sacrifice the white cat. Indeed I did. Indeed!

Cleopatra, shall I show you a way to prevent Caesar from eating you?

Do, do, do. I will steal the crown jewels and give them to you.

I will make the river Nile water your lands twice a year.

My child, your gods are afraid of the Romans.

You see? The sphinx dare not bite me nor prevent me carrying you off toJulius Caesar.

You won't. You won't. You said you wouldn't.

Caesar never eats women, but he eats girls and cats.

Now, you're a silly little girl, and you're descended from the black kitten.

You're both a girl and a cat.

- And will he... eat me? - Yes.

Unless you make him believe that you're a woman.

Oh. Then you must get a sorcerer to make a woman of me.

- Are you a sorcerer? - Perhaps.

But it'll take a long time, and this very night in the palace of your fathers...

you must stand face-to-face with Caesar.

No, no. I daren't!

Whatever dread may be in your soul, however terrible Caesar may be to you...

you must confront him as a brave woman and a great queen.

And you must feel no fear.

If your hand shakes, if your voice quavers...