The Fly

What am I working on?

Uh, I’m working on something that’ll change the world...

and human life as we know it.

Change it a lot or just a bit? You’ll have to be more specific.

What, do you want me to be specific here, in this room...

with, uh, half the scientific community of North America eavesdropping?

Is there another way?

Uh, y-you could come back to my lab.

Listen, I’ll make you cappuccino.

I have a Faema of my very own. You know what that is?

It’s not the dilettante’s plastic kitchen model.

It’s one of those, uh, real restaurant espresso machines...

with the eagle on top and–

Somehow I get the feeling you don’t get out much.

You can tell that?

Yeah.

I think you’re making a mistake.

I think you really want to talk to me.

Sorry. I have three other interviews to do before this party’s over.

Yeah, but they’re not working on something that’ll change the world as we know it.

They say they are.

Yeah, but they’re lying. I’m not.

- Are you sick? - Oh–

Sure.

You’re not a very accomplished drunk.

No, no. I’m always like this. It’s, uh, motion sickness.

When I was a kid, I, uh...

puked on my tricycle.

- I hate vehicles. - Should I drive more slowly?

No, no. Just turn left. We’re almost there.

This is it?

It’s, uh, cleaner on the inside.

Please.

Listen, uh, maybe this is a bad idea.

No. It’s too late.

You’ve already seen them.

Can’t let you leave here alive.

Those.

Designer phone booths.

Very cute.

Hey, I bet you have a really neat jukebox in here too someplace.

- Over there maybe? - No.

No, this is the–

This is the prototype of... those.

It’s the first one I had made.

It, uh, works, but it’s clunky.

I call them telepods.

They’re controlled by this.

Thank God for that.

So what do they do, the phone booths?

Telepods.

Oh.

Uh, okay. I need an object. Um–

Say, do you have something on you that’s...

uh, personal that I could use?

Something uniquely you, an item of clothing or jewelry?

What, are you kidding?

No, I’m serious.

Okay. Here it goes.

Mm-hmm.

I don’t wear jewelry.

Mm-hmm.

It’s nice.

Uh, Brundle, Seth.

Uh, Brundle, Seth.

Uh, Brundle, Seth.

Begin teleportation sequence.

Um, keep your eye on the stocking.

Well?

Great.

The world’s largest microwave oven.

I’m glad I didn’t give you my Rolex, if I had a Rolex.

No, you’re missing the point. Look.

“Teleportation”?

Please.

Oh–

Wait a minute.

Is that a hologram?

- Where’s my stocking? - That’s it, the real one.

Go ahead. Pick it up.

I don’t think I get it.

- What happened? - You got it’ all right.

You just can’t handle it. Um–

Your stocking has just been teleported...

from one pod to another...

uh, disintegrated there and reintegrated there.

Sort of.

It will change the world as we know it, right?

Oh, no–

Uh, this is, uh– This is incredible.

I mean, it’s not possible, is it?

How have you managed to keep this quiet?

- Please sit down. - How could you do this alone?

Well, I don’t work alone. There’s a lot of stuff in there I don’t even understand.

I’m really, uh, a systems management man.

I farm bits and pieces out to guys who are much more brilliant than I am.

I say, “Build me a laser this. Design me a molecular analyzer that.”

They do. And I just stick them together.

But none of them knows what the project really is.

So–

Wow. And’ uh’ the money?

Bartok Science Industries financed this?

Mm-hmm. But they leave me alone ’cause I’m not expensive.

And they know they’ll end up owning it all’ whatever it is. So–

- You haven’t told them? - When I’m ready.

- - Oh. Wait a second.

- What are you doing? - Well, you want me to get the quotes right, don’t you?

Quotes? No, no.

I thought this was personal. You can’t write about this.

What are you talking about? I’m a journalist.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- You knew that. - Uh–

I’m sorry. I apologize. I made a mistake.

I shouldn’t have shown you this. I’m very, very sorry.

Listen. Particle magazine sent me to that party to get a story.

- And this is the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen. - No, no. Absolutely not.

- I’m gonna have to ask you for that tape. Please. - You can’t do that.

Don’t you dare write a story. I’d never have told any of this stuff to a journalist.

- But you did tell this stuff to a journalist. - Yeah, I suppose I did.

- Sure did. - Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wai– Come here. What about your stocking?

Keep it for good luck.

I farm bits and pieces out...

to guys who are much more brilliant than I am.

I say, “Build me a laser this. Design me a molecular analyzer that.”

They do. And I just stick them together.

But none of them knows what the project really is. So-

Wow. And, uh, the money?

Bartok Science Industries financed this?

Mm-hmm. But they leave me alone ’cause I’m not expensive.

And they know they’ll end up owning it all, whatever it is. So-

Well, that’s it.

What do you think?

It’s a joke.

- What? - He’s conning you.

It’s an old nightclub routine, the two cabinets.

- And you fell for it. -

- Wait a minute. That was no nightclub– - Are we having lunch?

Listen, that was no nightclub routine. I was there. I saw it.

Yep.

Sure. Send him in.

- You must have made an impression. - What do you mean?

Your magician has followed you here.

I’m Stathis Borans. I’m the editor of Particle magazine.

- Uh, Seth Brundle- - I know who you are.

Listen, uh, why don’t you two use my office?

I’ve gotta run.

If you plan to make anything disappear...

please let me know.

I’ve got an assistant editor who’s outlived his usefulness.

You didn’t waste any time.

I’m not getting any younger.

He didn’t seem– He wasn’t impressed by your tape?

He thinks you’re a con man.

Excellent.

Yeah? Well, let’s see what the people at Omni think about it.

No, no, listen, Veronica.

I’ve come here to say one magic word to you.

Yeah?

Cheeseburger.

I’ve been working alone too long.

I have a strong urge, uh, to talk about what I’m doing.

But, um, if this gets out now–

Veronica, it’ll kill me.

The Bartok people will kill me. My colleagues will kill me.

See, it’s not ready yet.

- Seems to work okay. - No. Something important’s missing.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Which is?

I can only teleport inanimate objects.

Well, what happens when you try to teleport living things?

Not while we’re eating.

It can’t be worse than this.

Listen, you’re not doing a very good job of convincing me.

I think the world should know about it now...

and I think I should be the one to tell it.

You should tell it...

but, uh, not yet.

Look, what do you got so far?

Enough to make you nervous.

Why not get more? Let me become your major project.

I’m talking about a book, not a magazine article.

Follow me and my work day by day...

in as much detail as you can stand.

I don’t have a life so there’s nothing for you to interfere with.

Research the background. Cover the process.

“The complete record of the most earth-shattering invention ever...

“the one that ended all concepts of transport...

of borders and frontiers, of time and space.”

Your book will end with me transporting myself...

15 feet through space from one telepod to another.

That’s what’s really missing.

Wait for me that long?

What are you doing in my apartment?

Just happened to be in the neighborhood.

Felt a bit scummy. Rough day.

Aaah! Aaah! Oh!

How did you get in?

Have a key, remember?