The Gods Must be Crazy III AKA Crazy Safari (非洲和尚 / Fei zhou he shang)

Deal!

Congratulations, Mr. Hay.

Now if we can move onto the next item on the agenda.

Master, has my ancestor been out for bidding?

Not yet. They just finish the bidding for a vase.

Master!

I must bring my ancestor back today.

If not, how can I face my Denys family and relatives?

Calm down. No one will bid on a corpse.

The next item doming up is a priceless Chinese mummy.

May I present our Chinese Auctioneer Mr. Szelo

the famous mummy export.

Thank you!

This is a very rare piece from the ancient East.

We shall now present an audio-visual narrative on this item.

This will present the characteristics of the Chinese vampire

Not unlike the one we have our offer here tonight.

Here you see the typical European vampire

As we know it in the Western culture.

In comparison to a very different Chinese vampire.

As we know a holy cross can be used

to fend off an European vampire.

Bu! This method will have no effect at all on this Chinese one.

The same goes for strong light

and other methods that scare European vampires.

The Chinese vampire is only controlled by yellow pieces of papers

inscribed with ancient Chinese spiritual quotations.

I view this to be an unique & very valuable item!

In beautiful embound. A robe remains for

Chinese aristocrat who died in the 15th century.

Shall we start the bidding at fifty thousand Pounds?

There we are.

Sixty!

Seventy!

Eighty!

Ninety!

One hundred!

He must be crazy!

A hundred once.

Hold it!

Excuse me. Sir!

Thank you!

Mister, this so-called mummy is my great, great, great grandfather.

I've to bring it back to my home town.

It's very important to me.

Look! I don't give a shit about this grandfather of yours!

How can I know he's your great. Great, great grandfather anyway.

What does he say?

He says how can we prove that.

By raising the mummy.

We can raise the mummy.

Bullshit! If you can raise the mummy.

The mummy is yours.

Stop breathing guys.

I'll send you a cheque later.

Are we in hell?

Kid, why are there so many ghosts?

This is Halloween.

Just like our Ghost festival.

So their faces are only make-up.

Stay here, I gel my car and be right back.

Okay. I'd better not standing here.

What an incredible costume!

You must tell your friend he got the most incredible costume.

He must have come from China.

If there's a competition. Your friend will win.

He should have a competition.

Because your friend would have won.

Come on, ring the bell.

Don't touch.

Shit! Where's he gone?

Tie your hands up and you go nowhere.

Look, man. It's a hold-up.

Against the wall, baby.

Put your hands up, I say.

You hear that?

Come on, what's wrong? Put your hands up.

Bomb fool you're.

Look at this, man. This is a knife.

And I'm gonna...

He searching, brother.

Let's see what he got inside.

Chinese costume!

I tell you. You look fat. Man.

Look at you. Your make-up. Your teeth.

So ugly, man.

I want to see your fat ugly face.

God damn it!

Ghost only attack the man who attacks them.

Where've you been?

I've tried to find you for an hour. Hurry up.

I didn't tell you to hang around with my ancestor.

So crowded here and you don't know the way.

It's very easy to lose my ancestor.

You must take good care of my ancestor.

We pay you for this trip.

You should act like a professional.

I don'! Mean to bother you.

It's for your own sake.

You're working for me.

Is he really your ancestor?

I've checked none of your ancestor was an officer.

He served as General Li Hongzhanqs double

when Li was having a diplomatic mission in England.

My ancestor is only a low-class clerk.

So he'sjust a nobody.

Does it worth taking me to bring him back to Hong Kong?

An officer or a clerk. It doesn't matter.

That he's my ancestor really matters.

What's going on?

What's going on?

It's too foggy.

We've to dash through the cloud to find our direction.

What direction? What happened to the compass?

I've already told you the compass is not working.

The compass isn't working and we're lost now.

I've a Chinese compass.

Will it work?

Compass was invented by Chinese?

Don't forget your origin.

My ancestor is Chinese too.

Ask him which way he's heading for.

Which way did you head for?

East!

East!

Up north down south; here west there east.

That direction.

Make a left turn. We're going this way.

Jesus!

Somethings wrong! I said something could be wrong!

Could be! It's definitely wrong.

Don't you tell me we're heading toward Hung Kong?

Don't you tell me we're heading east?

What did he say?

He said the direction is wrong.

Bullshit! The compass couldn't be wrong.

What're you wailing for?

Get over there. Give me the gun.

Running out of fuel.

Dump heavy objects. We've to glide.

OK!

It's too heavy to fly. Oil runs out.

Please help me to dump all the things.

The plane is going to glide.

Well. Then dump your ancestor. First.

Shit. No. Don't kid me. Please help.

Take your hand off my gun.

So help me, God!

Hurry up!

Mayday! Mayday!

So what are we gonna do?

Well, I don't know what are you going to do.

Bu! There are two parachuties & I'm taking one.

And I'm going to bail out.

Bail out?

Yes. Out!

What is he saying?

He says there are two parachuties and he's taking one.

No! Don'! Move!

Come on. Go!! In there.

You. Put that on me.

What's he saying again?

He wants you to put that on him.

Okay, foreigners are all selfish.

Okay, gel back there. Move!

Okay guys. Goodbye and good luck.

Master. Only a parachute left. What can we do?

Don't worry. He's only wearing a knapsack.

Master. You're so selfish loo!

Come on. We're in danger.

Forget about the morality.

Put on a parachute. Fast.

No. This is for my ancestor.

Your ancestor! Don't you want him to be a flying corpse?

I only know he's my ancestor.

Your life is more precious than your ancestofis.

He will not blame you.

Take care.

Your grandson is so stupid. Shame on you.

I'm stupid, but I'm filial.

You shouldn't be soared, you already died.

How could you be their ancestor?

Stop insulting my ancestor.

Okay, I slop, but I push.

Kid, what's about you?

I'm ready to sacrifice.

Hope you can bring him back to Hung Kong.

I'll really appreciate that.

Come on the equipments are all here. Let's go.

Hold this.

Hands on my shoulders.

Go!

My ancestor should be alright, right?

Yes, only break into pieces.

Master!

Kid!

Bring those girls over here.

Peter. Go! Lake care of thal Bushman once and for all.

I told the black guy to do it.

Bu! I don't have to do it.