GCB

Hi.

So sorry I'm late.

This is what you're wearing?

Slacks? To church?

Seriously? I think God just wants us to show up.

I don't think he minds what we wear.

Well, that's fine,

unless you mind everybody else thinking you're a lesbian.

I wore pants because I tripped over a keg in the ladies' room

at Boobylicious and I bruised my shin on a toilet.

What a pretty story.

Let's just go worship, okay?

Open-toed shoes? Oh, my God. No. We're going in the side door.

No. No! Amanda! Oh!

Check out the caboose on Laura Vaughn's mama.

Landry? Watch the locker-room language, please. (Swats side)

A bun-ular display like that is precisely why

a lady never wears pants in church.

Hey, hey. Don't be so hard on him, kitten.

Well, I won't have both my men being obsessed with Amanda.

I'm not obsessed with Amanda.

I'm obsessed with finding out

what's going on with her dead husband.

I know, I know.

Could he still be alive? How can we find out?

Be a little more friendly to her,

get her to drop her guard so you can get in behind enemy lines.

Who's that dude?

That is Carlene's uncle Burl.

He's been gone for two years distributing millions of Bibles

to folks in the third world countries.

Oh, he's a missionary?

Well, not exactly.

He's been doing it from his yacht,

but he's one of the finest, kindest people

you'd ever hope to meet.

His wife Bitsy is not.

Gigi, come over here and break my neck.

Oh, Burl! Welcome back.

Dallas hasn't been the same without you.

You either, Bitsy.

Gigi. Let me look at you.

So brave.

I'm just dying to see everybody.

Now Bitsy and I were thinking

about throwing together some kind of hootenanny at the ranch.

Over my dead body.

I'm throwing your homecoming party.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Excuse me, ma'am. Any chance I might squeeze in here?

I didn't realize I broke a commandment.

"Thou shalt not wear slacks to church."

Oh, yeah. Tradition dies hard around here.

You know, I consider myself

a strong, very secure, independent woman.

Fierce, even.

Mm-hmm.

So why can a little bit of criticism from my mother

still slam me so hard?

'Cause she matters,

and deep down, you care.

I gotta go work the booby brunch shift...

and find my keys.

Me and my heathen slacks are slipping out of here.

Don't judge me.

Mm.

Hey.

Get back here.

What?

Come on.

Girl, ain't nobody drives a pair of pants like you do.

I need your opinion about something.

You remember Westward Ho! Jeans?

Yeah, vaguely. Mama used to wear 'em when I was a kid.

Cricket's daddy's company discontinued the line

about 25 years ago, but I've decided to relaunch the brand.

Whatcha think?

I used a designer from "Project Runway."

Truthfully?

No, please, lie. 'Cause it's a $25 million investment.

I would like it to fail.

All I can say is that

it's harder for a woman to find the right pair of jeans

than it is to find the right man.

You know, a girl wants comfort

and a cut that accentuates her assets.

They're just too busy,

and, like, if that embroidery on the zipper is a tongue,

that's just gross.

Well, you need to come work with me, consult.

That's so flattering,

but I don't have any fashion design experience or resume.

Yeah, well, guess what? I'm the boss and I don't care.

Blake, that sounds amazing, but...

Cricket's also the boss, and I'm pretty sure

she even blames me for her acne in high school,

so... (Chuckles)

she won't like it.

Well, you know what? I'll handle Cricket.

My office, tomorrow, 9:00.

I want to relocate my company from Seattle,

but we're just having trouble

finding the right piece of land here.

A 500-acre chunk just came up in Alabama.

I have to go check it out.

Andrew, you can't check out of Texas.

We aim to keep you around.

You just tell me what you're looking for,

and I will deliver it to you on a silver platter.

Sharon, Zack. How's it going?

Pastor Tudor. I thought our sermon was so on point,

about how we have to beware

of people who look all nice and cuddly on the outside,

but on the inside they're just selfish and awful.

It really... hit... home.

O... okay.

I'm looking forward to your next counseling session tomorrow.

Yeah, me, too. A lot. Can't wait.

Ever since you encouraged her last week to "speak in truth,"

she hasn't shut up, and it seems the truth is

I can't do anything right, never have, never will.

Now I have worked my butt off to provide her with everything.

I am the one that is working her butt off. With everything.

Oh, well, clearly not enough, 'cause it's big...

Hey, hey! Flag on the play! Get... (Mutters)

Listen, I don't think counseling can wait till tomorrow.

You two need a reality check.

Separation.

- What? - Separation?

An in-house separation. You're not appreciating

what the other's bringing to the marriage.

- Well, I mean, you try feeding... - You know how hard I work...

- ...this human garbage disposal for 17... - ...to sell Lamborghinis in this economy?

No. I... time-out.

Zack. You look after Mckinney.

You're in charge of the house, the cooking, and the cleaning.

Well, how do I know what to tell the maid to do?

I don't even know her last name.

You're gonna give the maid the week off.

This way, you'll appreciate what Sharon does.

Sharon?

Mm-hmm.

All you do is take care of your family.

- You need some, uh, outside interests. - Mmm.

Broaden yourself. Get out and try to find a job...

... so you'll get a grip of what Zack's up against.

Job? How?

I mean, my only job experience

is teaching debutantes how to do the Texas Deb ...

Well... no skills.

Swing by the church tomorrow.

I'll... I'll find something for you to do.

This exercise will work. Okay? Try it. For me?

Whatever you say, pastor Tudor.

God be with you.

And with you.

Ha!

Blake just told me the good news.

I hope you are as excited as I am.

Oh, thanks. I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you then.

- Hey! I see Cricket already found you. - Yeah.

I was just welcoming her

to the apparel division of Caruth-Reilly.

Oh, this is gonna be great.

You'll be just down the hall from me...

just a few feet away, within spittin' distance.

Yeah.

GCB 1x04 - A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing Original air date March 25, 2012

Hi, mama.

Hi.

Are those my old jeans?

Yeah. The mother lode of Westward Ho! and I need 'em.

No. No. Absolutely not.

I will not allow you out in public looking like yard trash.

I'm not gonna wear 'em. I'm gonna rip 'em apart.

It's research.

I got a job

consulting with Blake on the relaunch of Westward Ho!

Hallelujah. No more Boobylicious.

Oh, I'm not quitting Boobylicious.

I'm just getting a second job.

I love employment. Bring it on. Mwah.

- W... w... wait. Wait a minute. - What?

I've got Bitsy and Burl and Heather

all coming over for a tasting. Aren't you gonna stay for that?

Could use a little moral support.

Why do you need moral support, mama? You and Burl are besties.

Well, yes...

but Bitsy's just a horse's ass.

Oh. Denim. That probably does work good for you.

Why are you here? I mean, hi.

Ripp was insisting that we bury the hatchet...

- Mm-hmm. - ...and he's always right,

so I thought I'd bring Chardonnay

and a heart full of "love thy neighbor."

Why can no one remember that I don't drink anymore?

Oh, Amanda, Amanda. I never forget you're an alcoholic.

Chardonnay's my nail girl. Char! Get in here.

- Enchante. - Ohh.

I am giving you the gift of pedicure.