Modern Family

Behold the Quantum Flux --

a magic portal to the past,

what some might call a "time machine."

This is where you guys go "Oooh."

No, thank you. Just get on with it.

"Ooh," indeed.

I'm throwing Dad and Gloria's 10th anniversary party,

and Phil is part of the entertainment.

I'm gonna make Gloria seemingly dematerialize,

then wondrously travel back through time,

and then rematerialize in her wedding dress.

She's gonna change her clothes in a box.

This is why I'm nervous about you introducing me.

I'm kidding! You're gonna be great.

He better be great.

I want Dad and Gloria's party to be perfect.

I was kind of a pill at their wedding.

I hadn't fully accepted Gloria yet.

And I feel a little responsible for what happened with my mom.

I fed her, like, three drinks at the reception.

You know, just to take the edge off.

I'm Gloria! Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me!

Mitchell: No, no! Oh, geez!

Mom! Mom!

She almost took the doorframe off.

Into the wormhole she goes.

Clocks turn backwards,

calendar pages re-attach themselves,

and behold!

The beautiful bride!

Guys! This isn't exciting to you?

se your imaginations.

Picture me standing next to Gloria

in a wedding dress.

We're done.

Mitchell, did you get the cake?

Yeah, yeah. I got everything.

Okay, good. I'll have to meet you at Dad's.

I need to go with Phil to pick up his magic box.

Oh, and, hey, you told Phil

not to mention the trick to Cam, right?

If Cam finds out, he's just gonna want us

to do some kind of performance, too.

Pretty sure I told him not to say anything.

Yeah, pretty sure you didn't.

**

Mitchell: So, uh, what's all this?

This is redemption.

Maybe just a straight answer.

The year was 2007 --

the wedding reception of Jay and Gloria. Oh.

Our gift to the newlyweds was a duet performance

of "Islands in the Stream." "Islands in the Stream."

A gift that would never be, because...

I remember.

I fed my mom a few drinks at the reception.

I really did not want to sing, so I figured

if I got her a little tipsy, I wouldn't have to perform

because I'd have to hold her hand...

No, no, no! Oh, geez!

Mom, Mom!

...and later hold her hair back.

Well, your family has wondered for 10 years "What if?"

Today, they find out what for.

Mm, I don't know, Cam.

I'm a little rusty,

and acoustics are never good inside a tent.

And -- Oh! This party isn't about us.

There's a whole slate of performers.

Gloria's changing in a box.

Which makes our medley all the more welcome.

It's a medley now? No! No.

In no way, shape, or form

am I performing today in front of my judgmental family.

Fine. We'll just... go to the party.

Thank you.

No medley. Exactly.

Wait. This isn't a trick --

Just three un-related songs.

You just agreed. Rehearsal starts right now.

Jump in when you're ready.

Why are you cooking?

Are you allowed back there?

It's our anniversary. Can't I do something nice for your mother?

Maybe.

Morning, beautiful.

We have huevos, we have chorizo, we have tortilla.

What we ain't got is Manny.

Unfortunately, he's gonna be a no-show at the party today.

Aha.

What can I get you?

Take that garbage away from me.

I'm going for a walk.

Manny was a big part of our wedding.

He walked Gloria down the aisle, did the calligraphy.

And I knew him not showing up to our anniversary party

would put Gloria in a bad mood.

In some ways, I feel responsible.

You're home again?

You're in college.

You can't come back every weekend!

So no hug? I love you,

but you're not making the most of your college experience

by being here all the time.

My father dropped me off my freshman year,

and I didn't see him again till the spring.

You want to know why? I don't know.

Something about dames and fistfights?

Exactly -- too busy making friends,

chasing skirts, and things of that nature.

But your mother and I think it's bad for you

to be here all the time.

So hit the road,

and we'll see you at Thanksgiving.

Wait. I'm banned from my house?

Don't think of it that way.

You're banned from my house.

Technically, Gloria was not in on this decision,

in the sense that...

she was not in on this decision.

Ruff, ruff, ruff!

I was a little grumpy.

I had agreed to do this magic trick

at the party with Phil.

I go into a box,

and then I come out in my wedding dress.

But there was a problem.

Pull!

She won't budge!

The only logical explanation

is that somebody snuck into my closet

and shrunk my wedding dress.

Like, probably my sister.

So for the past week,

I've had to, like, get even skinnier

than I was at my wedding.

Oh, shut up.

Be cool.

Phil, it's a magic shop.

I'm the coolest person that's ever been in here.

Oh!

How does he do it?

I'm kidding. I know how he does it.

Claire, meet the legendary Mister Ekshun.

Hello.

And what's this behind your ear?

Oh, just some sweater fluff.

Well, the place looks great.

Can you imagine coming here every day?

I wish it was every day.

I have less and less time for the old Illusionatorium,

with all the road jobs I still book.

Would you mind quickly walking me through

the Quantum Flux Illusion? Uh-huh.

Well, according to magic bylaws,

I can't disclose the secret

in the presence of a non-licensed magician.

Not a problem. I can just step outside.

Nonsense!

We prepare for such things.

Ah!

The old sensory-deprivation helmet.

Oh! I put that baby on,

it's almost like I don't have roommates.

Yeah, I, like I said, could just step out--

Outside would be fine.

She's lovely.

Yeah. I'm super lucky.

Thank you so much for helping me with this.

Are you kidding?

I wouldn't have this life

if you hadn't turned down the magician gig

on that Ixtapa cruise years ago.

What? I-I was never offered that job.

Yeah, they said they called you and never heard back,

so they moved on to me.

I never got that call!

Oh!

I couldn't breathe! I couldn't breathe!

Well, you forgot to turn on the ventilator.

That was supposed to be my job?

No.

This was supposed to be my job.

I look stupid.

Hey, you see what a bad mood your mother's in?

That's because she misses Manny.

Today, you're Manny.

But wouldn't she miss Joe then?

Don't overthink.

Just go in there, act all heartsick,

and tell her you want to have high tea.

Hey, Mom. Why are girls such a mystery?

Have a scone!

Get out of here. I cannot even look at that.

Yikes!

Shake it off. That's okay.

That's a good first try.

Go grab his pan flute!

How's my bride?

Ay! So big now.