The Goonies

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Lunchtime!

The longer you animals bark, the colder your lunch gets.

Come on, move it out. You too, down there!

Hey, turkey!

"You schmuck. Do you think I'd be stupid enough to kill myself?"

Kill myself?

Come on!

Here he comes.

Francis, the lock.

Let go of the handle.

I don't have the handle! Open it!

Jake, up!

Come on, move! Get on!

Thanks, Mama.

Okay, you guys. Let's try the victory pyramid.

Okay, let's go.

Come on. Put your arms up.

Smile. Good, we got it!

Turn that TV off. I can't hear myself think.

Yeah, right, Dad.

Is the water going down, son?

- Nope. - Is it going down now?

Wow, a police chase!

Oh, shit!

What are we doing here?

Trust in your mother, boys.

Throw her into four-wheel drive and hold on to your hats.

Bummer!

Nothing exciting ever happens around here anyway.

Who needs the Goon Docks?

Who needs this house? I can't wait to get out of here.

Really?

No, I was just trying to delate myself. No, no...

Dictate myself.

That's delude yourself, dummy.

That's what I said.

Thanks, Brand.

I know how you feel, wimp.

I'm sure gonna miss this place too.

Adopted wuss.

I'm no adopted wuss!

I'll kill you, Brand!

It's Mouth.

Hey, Mikey.

Yo, Mikey.

Hey, Mikey, seen Adrienne?

- What's going down? - Get your foot off the table.

You got it. What's going down, guys?

What's the matter with you guys?

What's the matter? What is this? A nuclear Saturday?

Come on, guys.

This is our last weekend together.

Last Goonie weekend.

We gotta be going out in style.

Cruising the coast, sniffing some lace...

...downing the brews, but no!

The one older brother had to go and screw it up.

Flunking your driver's test? I don't know what to do with you.

You guys, let me in!

Jerk alert.

It's Chunk.

I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!

First, do the Truffle Shuffle.

Come on!

Do it.

Come on!

Do it!

Cut it out, Mouth.

Get out.

You guys won't believe me. I'm telling the truth.

You turd!

- Flunked your driver's test. - Shut up.

Listen, you'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay?

They were chasing this four-wheel deal, a real neat ORV.

Bullets flying everywhere. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!

More amazing than when Michael Jackson used your bathroom?

More amazing than when you saved those old people from that fire?

More amazing than when you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza?

Okay, Michael Jackson didn't come to my house to use the bathroom.

But his sister did.

Okay, Data, don't mess this one up.

Prepare for the Wings of Flight.

- Open the door! - Mikey!

The screen door!

Hey! I bet you guys thought I was gonna drop it, huh?

I know you'd expect that from Chunk.

- You idiot! - Oh, my God!

Look, it's not broken. It's perfect.

- Oh, my God! - What?

- That's my mom's most favorite piece! - What?

Oh, my God.

- You wouldn't be here if it wasn't. - Shut up!

Shut up, Mouth.

- Any of you guys ever hear of Detroit? - No.

Certainly. It's where Motown started.

Also got the country's highest murder rate.

That's where we move to when we lose our house tomorrow.

Shut up. It'll never happen. My dad'll fix it.

Yeah, sure he will.

If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow.

That's wrong, Brand. It won't happen!

- Oh, hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom.

Hi, hi!

I see Data dropped by.

Hi, Mrs. Walsh. How are you?

Boys, this is Rosalita.

She'll help with the packing until my arm's better.

Boys, Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English...

...and I know some of you took Spanish in school.

Well, Mrs. Walsh, I speak perfect Spanish.

If it's any help to you, I'd be glad to communicate with Rosalita.

You're a lifesaver, Clark. Come with us, will you?

Certainly, Mrs. Walsh.

Mikey, no more potato chips. Hello, Mikey.

It's Brand, Ma.

What?

I wonder if she'll notice.

That's what I said!

Of course. She notices everything.

Pants and shirts are in the second.

Just throw them all into boxes. Forget the suitcases.

Can you translate that?

- Certainly, Mrs. Walsh. - That's wonderful.

Look. How's that?

You idiot! You glued it on upside down!

If God meant it that way, you'd be pissing in your faces.

Looks fine to me.

Rosalita, this is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anyone up here.

That's why it's always open.

This is my supply closet. You'll find brooms, dustpans, insect spray.

I'd like the house clean when they tear it down.

Clark, can you translate?

Okay, Rosie? You're gonna be very happy here.

Come on, Clark, we've got more to do. You're so fluent in languages.

You're so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you.

"Nice" is my middle name.

I'm taking Rosalita to the supermarket.

I'll be back in about an hour.

Mikey, stay inside. Brand, if he has asthma, I don't want him in the rain.

He should be in a plastic bubble.

I'm serious. That's not funny.

He takes one step outside, and you are in absolutely the deepest...

Shit, Ma.

I don't like that language, but that's what you'll be in.

- And you, Data... - "Data."

- Use the back door from now on. - All right.

What is that?

Oh, shit. What?

What is that?

That is a mess. I want it cleaned up, boys.

- Oh, yeah. Sure! - You got it.

One hour and I'll be back. Bye, baby. Rosie?

- Bye, Mrs. Walsh. - Bye.

You want a breathing problem? You got one.

What'll happen to the stuff in the attic?

My dad's giving it back to the museum...

...or the new assistant curly... Curney...

- Curator. - Wait, guys.

Maybe there's stuff up there for us that we can keep from the oldsiders.

Maybe there's some rich stuff!

No! It's my dad's responsibility, you guys.

The museum's probably got a list.

Listen to me! That's his stuff!

Look at this. I didn't know Dad had all this stuff up here.

- Great! Look at that! Neat! - I love it.

Come on, guys!

My dad doesn't want you up here.

You heard what my mom said about not wanting anybody up here.

I cannot believe you actually have something this cool in your house.

You guys, my mom said...

Guys, stop. Put down the outfit, okay?

This is great. We only have Hanukkah decorations in our attic.

I don't care what you have in your...

Okay, you saw it, now let's go.

Come on, Mikey. It's cool!

I got you right where I want you!

It's dusty, my hay fever's acting up and you always break something.

Mikey!

Come here and make me feel like a woman.

Come on, give me a nice, wet, lickery kiss.

I gotcha! Get out from there, you're ruining the painting!

You're ruining my joke. The painting's already cracked.

- Hey, Mikey? - What?

What is all this stuff?

The museum did some... Where'd you get this?

- Right there. - They did a show. A retropactum.

- Retrospective. - I said that. Don't contradict me.

It was about the history of Astoria, and these are the rejects.

Kind of like us, the Goonies.

I'm not a reject.

Take that off. You'll get me in trouble.

- You know how this works? - What?

Laser beams!

Mouth, when you drop something, put it back up...

What's this?

Wait a second.

Chunk!

I didn't touch it.

I know. Get over here.