Young & Hungry

Hey!

You know John from my office?

The guy who built his own motorcycle?

Oh, yeah. Is he out of the hospital yet?

No. No.

But his husband is the manager of the Petting Zoo and he offered us a job.

Okay, "A", I have a job. And "B", I'm allergic to goats.

So I'm gonna have to say, "nay-y-y".

Well, "A", that's the sound a horse makes.

And "B", the Petting Zoo is a cool new bar

and they need shot girls for Saturday nights.

So all we have to do is wear cute outfits and get guys to drink.

Like we do on weekends anyway, but now we'll get paid!

I don't know. It sounds kind of sexist.

I mean, why don't you just throw us back to the '50s

where women were stuck in the kitchen slaving away for their men.

- (Bell dings) - Ooh, Josh's apple pie is done.

So you're saying you don't want to do it?

No, I told you it's degrading.

Pay is 500 bucks each.

Saturday, you say?

Look at this one.

It's black and huge.

Wow, where would you even put something so big?

Oh. (Chuckles)

I'd make room for that.

Guys, put the bathtub catalog down.

I've already picked out the tub for upstairs

and before you ask, no, you may not.

It's a surprise for Caroline, she's gonna be the first one to use it.

Don't worry, Yolanda. You'll be the first one to clean it.

All right, Elliot, what's our game plan for Cooper Finley?

Oh, what's a Cooper Finley?

Is it a car? Can I have one?

'Cause mine's mostly duct tape.

Cooper Finley is a hacker

that broke into Josh's new app and forced it offline for two days.

I went offline for two days,

but that's because my neighbors changed their wi-fi password.

What are you gonna do to him?

He left me no choice, I'm gonna hire him.

Oh, yeah, that'll show him.

Force him to work with Elliot every day.

This kid is brilliant.

He's only 23 years old and he created this fuzzy logic data patch

that I could develop into software technology

to piggyback off other signals creating connections 10 times more stable.

I made you a pie.

I have to act fast. In six months, Yahoo and Facebook will be all over this kid.

So how do I impress a Maverick hacker?

Well, just spitballing here, but I'm thinking white limousine,

bottle of bubbly, smooth jazz...

And just as he signs the contract, a single red rose falls from the moonroof.

Yeah, I'm trying to sign him not take him to prom.

If you want my two cents, which is all I have in my bank account,

I'm thinking girls, booze...

And?

Oh, that's it. Girls and booze.

Hey, why don't you guys take him to the Petting Zoo?

It's this hot new bar Sofia and I are working on Saturday.

Since when do you work at a bar?

Since I found out parking tickets triple when you don't pay them.

Come, I'll get you guys on the V.I.P. List.

Oh, please.

You think a 23-year-old computer genius

is gonna work for you because some half-naked girls

shake their boobies in his face?

Saturday, you say?

See? This isn't demeaning.

Here's 50 bucks, keep 'em coming.

More like de-mazing.

Pretty cool place, huh?

It was not easy getting us on the list.

Really? Why?

All you have to do is bypass their firewall, hack their server,

and put your name in the employee database.

How'd you do it?

I asked a girl I know.

Hey, Gabi.

Did someone koala my name?

Gabi, this is Cooper. Cooper, Gabi.

- She works for me. - Hi.

You have your own shot girl?

Wow, you are rich.

And you could be too.

How'd you like to come work for me?

What? Are you offering me a job?

Yeah, he thinks you're highly koala-fied.

- (Laughing) - Stop doing that.

- You're funny. - Keep doing that.

Who wants some al-koala-hol?

What are you doing in there?

Hey.

Oh, the piggy's on a break.

He went, "wee wee wee" all the way to the bathroom.

So, Coop, are you gonna come work for me, or what?

Normally I'd say I'd never go mainstream and work for a rich, corporate sellout.

But now I'm saying, hell to the yizz-ee.

Yes!

Aw, let's capture this moment.

Oh, shoot, it's doing that thing again.

Gabs, I told you to take it to the genius bar.

Well, lucky for you, we're in a bar

and I'm a genius.

I already tried, there's nothing you can do.

Well, maybe there's nothing you can do,

but we both know that your code isn't exactly elegant.

My code is so elegant, it summers in the south of France.

Oh, is that the new vacation spot for sub-standard programming?

- All fixed. - (Gasps)

Wow, Josh, look. Cooper fixed my phone and he set my home screen to a koala.

Sub-standard?

That's funny, "Wired" didn't mention that when they did a cover story on me.

Oh, "Wired"...

That cutting-edge magazine that still prints their copies on paper.

Oh!

- Shoot. - I am so sorry.

My hand-eye coordination is severely compromised.

But your hand-boob coordination is dead on.

Take it easy, dad.

I'm just trying to help her.

All right, Coop, come on, back off.

No, what's your problem.

Hey, hands off.

Hands off me.

Oh, my God.

Cooper, are you okay?

I'm fine.

How do you feel?

You just hit a smaller guy with glasses.

And anemia.

- (Pounding) - (Groans)

I'm so hungover I hear pounding.

Relax, baby, we all hear it.

It's the man working on your tub.

Oh.

Hey, thanks for the iced tea.

It's not for you.

I'm working on the man working on your tub.

Hey, Josh, I made you my patented hangover helper.

Ugh, just looking at it makes me sick.

Good, I'm starving.

So in regards to what happened last night,

Gabi made these cute "Star Wars" apology treats for Cooper.

Just something for him to Chewbacca on.

All you have to do is sign this card, and we can send it right over.

"May the force and my apology be with you".

I'm not signing this.

He was acting like a douche.

A douchey genius.

Look, I don't care how much money's at stake.

A billion dollars!

- Isn't Gabi's honor worth... - nothing!

I can't believe Josh.

Throwing a huge business deal over nothing.

I could really use a soak.

Oh, no, you don't.

Josh was very clear, no one is to use this tub until Caroline gets back.

Now let's get out of here before one of us does something stupid.

You first.

No, you.

Cooper, it's Gabi.

Making a house koala. (Giggles)

- Hi. - Hi.

How's your chin?

I don't know, I don't have health insurance.

But Web M.D. says I might have lyme disease.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm delivering these marshmallow treats from Josh.

He had me shape them into little R2-D2S to say he's sorry for empire striking you.

Back.

They look great.

I can't wait to be able to chew them.

- Wanna come in? - Sure.

Sorry it's such a mess.

Listen, Josh wants to apologize for that whole fist bump to the face thing

and have you over for dinner tonight.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Why, does it sound made up? 'Cause it's not.

Actually, I'm the one that needs to apologize to you.

I remember spilling something and trying to clean it up

and touching a part of you.

Yeah, actually two parts.

I'm really sorry.

And I was thinking about it last night.

I wanted to make it up to you, and so I bought you something.

Oh, you didn't have to get me anything.

I got you a domain name.

"Bon Gabetit".

You're gonna need a website when you're a famous chef someday.

Oh, my God, I have always wanted my own dot com.

That's so...

wow, nobody has ever done anything like that for me.

Listen, uh, Cooper.

You and I are really not that different.

Well, that's true.

We are both carbon-based life-forms.

Okay, maybe a little different.

But you know, we're both living our dream.