Not Easily Broken

When I first met Clarice in college, I was completely sprung.

She was smart, passionate, driven.

The sweetest thing I'd ever met.

You know the kind of woman I'm talking about, right?

The got-your-back kind of woman?

I did what a good man does when he finds the woman...

...he's been dreaming about his whole life.

I went all the way.

For if one falls down, the other is there to pick him up.

That's right.

Even better is a cord of three strands...

...because it is not easily broken.

My brother, my sister, life is going to try to knock you down.

Amen.

And it's hard to keep the good in a good marriage...

...when bad things happen.

The two of you represents the first two strands.

But God represents the third.

And as long as you stay close to him...

...your marriage will be a three-stranded cord...

...this world can never break.

-l love you. -l love you.

Congregation, Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson.

On our wedding night...

...it was just the two of us in a little slice of heaven.

We didn't come up for air for two days.

Together, we had goals and dreams.

We were going places in this world.

She was gonna be a real-estate rainmaker.

I was gonna be a major-league ball player...

...with hall-of-fame numbers, a big contract...

...an entrepreneur, daddy.

The big life.

Till it all ended shattering my leg sliding into home plate...

...during the final game of my rookie season.

Yeah, that's how young love always starts out.

Feels like the honeymoon will last forever.

But like the bishop said...

...life has a way of knocking the hell out of you.

-Oh, hey, baby, sorry l'm late. -Hey, baby.

There was this bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 5.

-lt's okay. -But look at you.

Look at you in my little favorite, sexy, big, grown-girl outfit.

Oh, no, baby, l just touched my face up.

Can't go there.

All right.

-This is it. -What's that?

This new property l've been dying to show.

l think l'm gonna get an offer on it soon.

-When are you showing it? -Tonight.

-Oh, baby, not tonight. -Why?

You know, l thought we could get a little quality time, you know?

Oh, God, Dave, l would love to spend quality time.

But, you know, my commissions pay for this house.

And besides, these clients could pay for that new work truck...

...we've been dying to get you.

You think l want my big, strong, chocolate kiss...

...driving around in that beat-up old thing?

David, you're building a business, okay?

And appearance is everything.

lt's about time we put the pro back...

...in Dave's All Pro Building and Remodeling.

Appearance is everything, that's what you said?

l'm saying, you can't show up to someone's house...

...talking about you're here to remodel and rebuild...

...in that beat-up old rusty truck.

-l happen to like that truck with rust. -lt's a bucket.

-The rust, everything, l like that truck. -Okay, okay, okay.

What about this weekend, you and l close ourselves in...

...and try out that new Jacuzzi tub we bought?

l like that idea.

-But it has to be after Saturday. -Why?

l'm meeting the boys and team on Saturday.

-The boys? -But....

But after that-- After that, it can then be just you and me, and me and you.

And then we could talk about little miniature you and mes.

Oh, God, please. Don't press your luck.

And there goes our quality time, so that's on you, brother.

-Are you gonna hoop later? -Yeah, meet Brock and Tree about 7.

Good, good, you know, because l feel a little extra around the middle section.

-You ain't feeling-- -Yes, l do, baby.

l'm feeling a little spare tire. Get your hoops on tonight.

-For-- For real, you feel-- -Yeah.

-You don't-- You-- -l'll see you later, okay?

Good morning.

You've been holding out on me, Clarice.

-What? -You didn't tell me you was...

...taking Oprah and Stedman out to look at houses.

Oh, hush, girl, that's Mr. and Mrs. Reid.

He's a federal judge and she's a chichi art dealer.

They're looking to get into a new zip code.

Well, you are already Salesperson of the Year.

How come you can't throw your girl charity...

...and help me meet my quota for the month?

Because, sister girl, that's not how l got to be Salesperson of the Year.

When you live the life, you pay the price.

And these bills are about to strangle me.

What about Dave?

Go make that money, girl.

Sorry l asked.

Hey, Eminem, Eminem, you wanna turn that down a little bit?

Sorry, man.

Give my neighbors a heart attack.

You guys think l'm getting fat?

-You what? -What did you say?

Yeah, Reesie says it looks like l'm gaining weight.

lf she's says it's your ass, yes.

Yes, your ass did get bigger.

Not looking at my ass, are you?

lf l am looking at your ass right now, l got good reason to.

Since Vanessa got pregnant, she won't let me see her naked.

So ass is an ass right now.

l can't wait to play ball today.

l'm giving everybody a good play.

Speaking of big asses, how did that disposition thing go...

...with your divorce attorney?

-You mean, deposition, Tree? -Depo-- That's what l said.

-Yeah, right. -What did l say?

-You said disposition. -All right, l'm sorry, human thesaurus.

-How did your deposition go? -Oh, man, it's ridiculous.

l'm a dead man.

Fiona's gonna try to take everything. My house, this car, half my salary.

That is ridiculous, man.

What, she gonna let you keep the big screen, though?

Please tell me she not gonna take your big screen.

-Oh, damn. -That--

Can we talk about something else?

-You know, l will leave that alone. -Thank you.

You over here worried about your weight, he's losing a TV.

-All right, all right. Come on. Let's go. -Come on, y'all.

Damn.

Keep away from him, keep away.

Putting it up.

-Oh, no. -Shake it off, babe.

Don't bring that here. Don't bring that here.

What was that?

-Get off me. -What was that, man?

Chill, yo. Darnell, what's wrong with--?

Bringing in here street ball. You brought it in here.

-That's what's wrong. -Check yourself.

You ain't in the prison yard no more.

-What? -You heard me.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know what you're talking about.

-Ball up top, ball up top. -Yeah, ball up top.

-l got my integrity, boy. -Don't drop the soap.

You ain't nothing like you used to be. l see how you are.

-Whatever. You-- l'm from the 'hood. -You not from the 'hood.

-You ain't from the 'hood? -l know where l'm from.

-You're acting like you're not. -Whatever.

-You Starbucks soldier. -Don't drop the soap.

Starbucks security.

Get out of here with this bull--

Hey, watch out, Dave.

Oh, that's it, huh? Game's over, huh?

What are you...? Aren't you with him?

Why are you still here?

You're not on our side.

Big, just bully for no reason.

He's starting to shoot. He's shooting.

Look at that view.

Big garage there, lt's beautiful, solar-lit.

Now, isn't this beautiful?

Look at this open space.

And what l love about this house for you, Judge Reid...

...are the floor-to-ceiling built-ins in the study for all of your law books.

And for you, Mrs. Reid, the east-facing front door.

So feng shui.

Feng what?

lt's Chinese, baby. lt means harmony.

l assume the sellers are looking for full price.

Well, we can ask, but l doubt they will be willing to come down.

But there aren't many homes in this neighborhood...

...with a garage big enough for your vintage-car collection.

How did you know about my Corvettes?

Oh, l make it my business to know the unique needs of all of my clients.

l think l'd like to see how my chi flows...

-...through the master bedroom. -Sure. l'll leave this with the judge.

Wait until you see the bedroom balcony.

The view is spectacular.

Funk shwa.

Don't know why Darnell needs to hate like that.

Come on, man. l kind of thought we'd been over this, D.

Yeah, it was 1 5 years ago. He needs to get over it.

-Got three more. -You gotta look at it like this.

-He feel he got dealt a bad hand. -Nobody forced him to sling that crack.

Well, he just needs to realize that life isn't always fair, man.

Believe me, l know.

Come on, now, just what part...

...of your magnificent life are you whining about now?

What are you talking about, man?

l'm getting screwed by the divorce lawyers.

Well, B, you act like you don't know why.

You getting screwed because you a hound.

-l'm not a hound. -You get more tail than a public toilet.

True, but with Fiona, l was always faithful.

l mean, l may have browsed, but l never bought.

-You never bought? -l never bought.

-Never bought? -Never.

What about the Thai massages you like to get?