The Elder Son

Max.

Huh?

They're waiting for you.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm coming.

Bravo!

I wish I could do more.

it's our annual occupancy drop

It's flu season

Sir, I graduated from Kira conservatory

I was the second chair in the Kusk.

You're getting the first class clarinetist for what?

Thirty-five dollars.

Max, I can get a twelve fingered Hungarian harpist in here for twenty.

Can I have it in cash?

Sure.

Thank you.

I was thinking of doing Brahms, uh, next week.

Brahms. Tha's great.

That or Barry Manilow.

You can never go wrong with that guy. Excuse me.

Hey, honey.

No, I'm not busy at all.

No, things do't get hopping until Bingo starts.

Take care. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah?

I'm looking for my mom.

Hillary Hanson?

She went to Phoenix last night.

Oh.

I didn't know that.

I didn't know that she had a kid.

Yeah, um, could you give her these? She said she had the flu.

I don't think she's gonna be coming back.

Uh, it didn't work out.

I see.

I gotta go to work.

If you could see how she sits,

If you could see how she sits,

gazing into space, a distant living glow reflected in her eyes.

Who is she?

Not the Silia you know, another Silia.

Do you mind? 'm polishing my monologue.

Skip, you're not here to polish your monologue, you're here to do a job.

I told you a hundred times. This is a part-time gig until my acting career takes off.

What?

What?

Some actors wait tables. I steal Hondas every once in awhile, so what?

Can we focus on the stealing?

Look, this is important, okay? I have an audition Tuesday. I'm doing Pirandello.

If you could see how she sits,

absorbed, gazing into space,

a distant living glow reflected in her eyes.

He looks like a young Steve McQueen.

I hope he gets away.

Hi, Tanya.

Mr. Sarafanov. How are you doing?

I can't complain as long as I'm doing--

Are you still working for the orchestra?

Of course.

I happen to be on my way home right now.

An acquaintance of mine happened to be at the Turin Symphony last week.

Didn't see you.

Or should I say, didn't hear you.

Many people listen, Tanya.

But not everyone can hear.

Good afternoon, Mr. Sarafanov. Russians are terrible gossips around here, aren't they?

Sometimes I feel they choose rumors over rubles. If they were starving in Siberia.

You know, go do -- unload feta. I's in the back. How is Nikita?

How is Nikita?

Wonderful, wonderful. Always busy with his call work.

Nikita, please remove your hand from my crotch.

I love you.

Okay.

Let's talk like grown-ups.

You're fourteen.

Romeo was fifteen.

Romeo was fifteen.

So, my Juliet was born four hundred years later in Ventura and not Verona.

and...

my Juliet teaches English at Fairfax Elementary School

and lives in a rent-controlled apartment.

My Juliet is not the spring but the early autumn which

is the fairest season of them all.

What do you want?

I want you to promise me that when we make love,

you'll keep your glasses on.

I want you to read my body like i's Balzac.

Out.

Hi, Dad.

Nikita?

What do you think?

A work for all passion.

Thank you.

A little extravagant perhaps.

Reason is the last refuge of the unimaginative, Dad.

Go ahead, Medusa!

drown the last flames of my dying heart!

Yeah, well it's me or the fire department.

Damn it.

I can't hear myself.

What? Screw?

Wha's that?

Some day yo'll realize that I love you as no one else

ever will. For the moment you can rest easy,

knowing that you got what you wanted.

I hate you.

Farewell, Nikita.

Farewell. Where do you think you're going?

Eat me.

You can't leave. 'm the one tha's leaving.

Who's gonna stay and look after Dad?

You don't give a shit about him, why should I?

What's going on here?

Shut up.

Precious wunderkind is running away

Is it true?

What about your school?

And your piano lessons?

I hate the piano!

Why can't we all admit that we're mediocrities.

It's genetic!

Don't ever say that again.

Your grandpa Notori was a great tenor.

Oh, yeah. They have statue of him in downtown Kirov.

Perfect. We can put up a statue of Nikita's erection on Fairfax

Fairfax in honor of his monumental obsession with that

cradle-robber next door.

Are you on the rag or the pilot next door just missed the landing strip again?

What'd you say?

Why do you think I listen to my music so loud?

These walls are like paper.

Major. Colonel. Private. Oh, don't be so quick on the trigger, Lieutenant.

Be a General about it.

Ha!

Hwa!

You want a piece of me?

I hate this place so much!

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Uh, hello. Hello. Hi, um, can you buzz us in? W're --

w're with, uh, Magic Carpet Cleaners. We're --

w're gonna clean your carpet for free.

Susan?

May I come in?

Skip.

Can I use your restroom? We've kind of been hoofing it for the last hour.

Just go.

Do you mind?

Thanks.

Hey is that Habitual Offenders?

Great band. I saw them in Baltimore before they got their record deal.

Oh, yes, thank you.

Thank you.

The tundra winds blow and he has too much.

But at his age, life are full of dreams and love serenades.

Uh, do you understand, you are professor literature?

I teach third grade.

And I would't call waking up with Nikita's hands between my legs a love serenade.

And i's more like Class Three sexual assault.

Who are you guys?

Who are, who are we?

Or, who are we?

You know, cause that's more of a metaphysical question.

Now i's probably something...

you should be asking yourself, not a couple of strangers.

W're looking for, um, a Mister S--, uh--

Sarafanov?

Sarafanov. Yes.

Is he home?

No.

He'll be right back though.

How do you know him?

Well, that is a difficult question to answer for--

Your dad and I,

we, uh, we go back.

You see, the thing is, is--

Nikita.

Nikita. That's a great name.

Parlez-vous français?

It's Russian.

Nikita.

And the sad thing is, is that

I--

I haven't even met your old man.

But I thought you said you go way back.

We do. We do.

Max and I, we,

Shit, I might as well just say it.

Yeah. Yeah, you should probably just go ahead and say it.

Max Sarafanov

Happens to be...

My father...

I don't think he even knows I was born.

So Nikita, that means you and I are--.

How bout you give your big brother a hug, huh?

This is a beautiful moment.

For both of you.

Yeah.

Yeah, go to him.

Come on.