Bonekickers

I know where the sword started, mum.

I know where it was born.

It came from the stars.

A meteorite crashed into Assyria,

from there was forged the most extraordinary sword.

A sword that affected the destiny of whole countries.

KNOCKING Gillian! Some call it Excalibur...

but it's more than that, it goes beyond Arthur, it existed before him and it continued after him.

I'm your sister.

It was your quest and it destroyed you. Gillian!

Tennyson was fascinated by the sword, he wrote about 'The Gleam'.

The profile of chivalry has been smudged.

But I want to offer this most august society a gleam of hope.

Death...like a friend's voice from a distant field...

..approaching through the darkness called...

No more mysteries,

no more secrets, it stops.

Gillian, I'm your sister!

SHE SCREAMS

This is my money, keep digging.

Talk to me, Scott.

I want to check out reports of a 5th century swallet at the base of the Glastonbury Tor itself.

We're just clearing it. Good.

People, it's been almost a year.

But we are starting to find 5th and 6th century pieces.

I sense that we're in a zone of opportunity.

We will find it, the ultimate Arthurian artefact and when we do

my friends, you won't be studying history, you will be a part of it.

Mr Gift? Kevin Schaffer, I'm with the Frome Historical Society.

Ah yes, you amateurs are invaluable, thank you.

So can we join the main unit up on the Tor?

No, we need you guys to mop up in the smaller fields, but thank you anyway..

INDISTINCT WHISPER

You're pulling my plonker!

She draws a lot of those.

Did you know how lucky you were?

To watch your child fall in love with something you loved.

How many parents dream of that?

All I ever wanted to do

was please you, mum.

Then you closed me out for a whole year,

and now I know the reason,

don't I?

Why didn't you tell me about her?

I just wanted to make you proud,

I thought I'd done something terrible.

Come on, Karen, let's get you back to bed.

Tennyson. Bloody Tennyson.

Thy fibres net the dreamless head.

Thy roots are wrapt about the bones.

That's In Memorium. In memory of his dead friend Arthur Hallam.

I want no harm to befall you...

..my dear friend.

You crammed it all into me, didn't you, mother. All your obsessions.

You should be more respectful. Your mother was a great woman. You were a great woman.

You were also a great liar.

I DON'T have a sister, OK?

And I DON'T have a quest.

Come on, trouble, let's go see granny.

Fourteen point seven, fifteen..

point two..

fourteen point nine.

Mr Jameson was very kind to donate so many of these. What a nice man he is.

Jameson? Why do I know that name?

He also donated a century old cognac bottled to celebrate the signing of the Entente Cordiale.

I have to say she was very 'cordiale'.

Has the Great She-Bitch been sent any more mysterious packages?

Any more weirdy phone calls? We haven't seen her, Viv.

On my way... I'm not even good for making tea now, is that right?

Oh, goody the day just got better. Where's Dr Magwilde?! Kevin, what the hell are you doing here?

Where's your boss? If you've found something, take it to "Antiques Roadshow"...

You wanna know what I found? Only the greatest archaeological find this country's ever known.

What's that gob of pond-life doing in my lab? He's found something near Glastonbury.

Ever heard of Michael Gift? Self-styled treasure-hunter.

Oh, yes, thinks he's Indiana Jones, but really he's a barrow boy

made good, throwing his millions at archaeological discoveries.

He's a tight git and that's why I came to you.

I've been out there for eight months and my expenses wouldn't cover a night in a Trowbridge knocking shop.

You have to admit Gilly, it's... well, it's intriguing.

You are kidding me. It'll be a fake. What if it isn't?

When have we been averse to putting our wellies on and having a look?

Yeah, come on. We can just go over there. You know, all of us.

All three of us?

Viv...

So then here I come, all the way down the stairs, then you catch me as I reach the floor. Boom. Projector.

No, no.. promotional work, out.

If I quit this place will you still give me a good reference?

Well, it depends.

If Professor Parton has been harassing you with his Peruvian fertility totems...

Did you know Gillian was my sister when you hired me?

Did you know or did I get it on my own talents?

Sister?

One hates to be indelicate, my dear but there's precious little of the freckled Scot in you.

Father black. Mother Karen Magwilde.

Nobody walks out on me.

Get in the Land Rover.

Fine, I'm coming.

Who knows, you might even need me.

Right where were we?

Main units moved on to the Tor.

So Michael Gift is looking for Arthurian artefacts?

He's looking for one thing in particular. He won't say what.

Well, one Arthurian relic?

Never believed in Arthur much myself. Thought it was for tourists and New Agers till we found this.

Is Gift behind it? Is someone else funding him?

Oh, what kind of section edges are those? Are you using a spade?! Now come on!

Looks like sandstone. You've used brushes on it.

Smearing soil and obscuring the detail. Tut-tut.

Latin, right? And that names got a symbol inscribed.

Denoting military authority, maybe. This is crazy.

Do we have comparatives for this area? Oh, we've been pulling Medieval up from all over.

What about pre-Conquests? Pre-1066?

Dark Ages? Yeah, a lot of stuff from the main unit.

We found this.

Penannular brooch. 6th century.

Artognou!

It says Artognou.

It's the same style of epigraphy as a 6th century stone pulled out at Tintagel in the '90s.

It means Arthur.

Our find, right? I mean we're involved.

What were you going to do Kev, put it in your garage? Here, mate..

Great, thanks for nothing.

What now?

Who told Michael Gift to start digging in the Levels for Arthurian finds?

Do you think it's the same people who've been trying to contact you?

Well, you tell me.

Why would I trust someone who was playing me?

You sad, messed up woman.

DOOR OPENS Ah, Dr Magwilde? Is that you?

You know, this really is very...

'Hang up, this is not for you.'

I thought, that just maybe, just this once that we could be involved for a change.

But you see what happens don't you, right?

I came to that cow in good faith and she stole the glory right out from under my nose!

These faculty people, bunch of con-artists the lot of them.

OK, from the segment we have we can suppose that it's divided into twelve sections.

Epigraphy suggests 6th century.

At the top you have Artognou. Arthur. And next to him?

Landelinus. Lancelot.

Next to him could be Bedevere, and next to him D'Artangnan,

next to D'Artangnan you could have a couple of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Gillian, why are you being so cynical?

It's in line with comparative archaeology. It's incredible!

This is ridiculous, it's a fake, a very tasty fake but one I'm not falling for.

Of course the concept of the circular meeting table

wasn't invented until Edward I in the 13th Century.

The site itself is called Battlebury.

Early scholars denote the place as Camlann. The Saxon name for Camelot.

So this place could be the field that Arthur built and ran his court?

until his nephew Mordred created civil war and killed him. Family, eh

Radio silence until you know more.

You're all out on a limb. Don't I know it. I mean it, Gillian.

Talk to no-one.

Kevin. You've been talking to Gillian Magwilde, why talk to her?

What does she know, Kevin? Look, I just took her to see what I'd found, OK? A table.

Part of a stone table... I should have told you but I was angry.

You found it, now she's got it, you betrayed us.

You've endangered a great quest, Kevin.

One that will change this country forever.

Take him to Henry Timberdyne. Who?

Get off me. What are you...?

I don't know anything else.

I'm sorry!

Right, I'M SORRY!

KEVIN SCREAMS

SCREAMING CONTINUES

He found a table. A round table?

OK, we have the results of our laser-scanning.

Our Round Table...isn't round.

It's a subtle elipse, like an egg.

The top is broader; and that's where Arthur sits, the far end is pointed.

There's a tiny carving in the centre of the table.

It's a setting sun,

so the table points west,

and there are lines, here and here under the sun. So are we saying

that the table points to the resting place of a certain sword?

If that field is Camlann, then the sword could still be out there.

Why don't you go home and let the experts deal with it?

You know you could make undermining people a national sport.

Well, only one of us here would get a gold medal for lying.

Really?

I've seen that obsessional little room of yours.

All those diagrams and pictures. Reminds me of your mother's book..

Give me that!

All that is over and done with and I don't have to justify myself.

She's your mother too.

No, my mum was a wonderful woman who adopted an unwanted baby.

Your mother was a driven, selfish bitch who went mad looking for a relic! GET OUT! You're fired!

The disciples of good use want the sword.

Good use?

I know of your good use, You would seek to consume all who stand in your way.

You will never get the sword, even though you have killed for it.

Does Tennyson have the sword?

You are adrift, goodnight.

If you'd paid them decent rates like I suggested

he wouldn't have gone elsewhere.

Leave his watch on him.

Somebody can metal-detect him in a hundred years time.

Has he told us who has the table? Gillian Magwilde.

I think Michael Gift has been trying to get me to help him. Mm hm?