Mind Your Language

Hello... hi, good evening everyone.

- Good evening Jivani. - lt's not good anythinkg.

- What's the matter? - l've got a terrible overhang.

- The word is hangover. Whatever it is, l've got it.

l had too much to drin at lunch time.

lt's fateful to drin at midday.

- Good evening, Max. - Oh please, don't spea too loud.

l'm thinking, you've also been looing on the wine too much.

That's the trouble. He's not looing, he's been drining lie me.

Why did you drin so much?

lt was the feast of my patron saint, Saint Maximilio.

So we had a drin.

Then we dran for my patron, Saint Jivani.

Then we had a drin for my patron.

Then one for the Pope. - Arch Bishop.

Leonardo Da Vinci. - Vernila Marcelli.

Sophia Lauren. - And after that...

l remember nothinkg.

Me neither.

Better go and sit down.

Excuse me, please.

Ah... that way.

Danielle is late this evening. We'll carry on without her.

As you now, in a few wees time...

you'll all be taing your lower Cambridge.

So tonight l thought l'll give you an oral examination.

You are wanting to loo at our tooths?

l'll go around the class and am going to as you all...

to give me some answers.

l hope l get some correct ones.

We are having a quiz? - Yes.

Lie Mister Mind. - Master Mind.

Yes please.

That's not a bad idea. Let's mae it competitive.

You have a noc out competition.

You mean, l'll get to punch up?

No, only verbally. l'll go around the class...

and whoever fails to answer correctly, drops out.

Where do we start? Yes, Jamela.

l'll give you an easy one to start with.

What is the plural of goose? - Goose?

Yes. One goose, two? - Gooses.

She's noced out.

- The plural of goose is geese. - Oh yes, geese.

l'll come bac. Let's have another one.

Let me see...

- What is the opposite of good? - Not good.

l thought you would have said bad, but we'll accept that.

Jivani, what is an apostle?

That's easy.

Epistle is the wife of apostle.

Cuts you out. - l'm wrong?

Epistle is a letter.

Max, give me another word for forward.

Mcdonald. - McDonald?

Yes, he plays forward.

l didn't mean that forward. Another word for moving forward.

- Advance? - Advance. Yes, good, well done.

- Anna, another word for debun. - Debate.

No, it means, to ridicule.

Ali, correct the following sentence.

Last night, l'm going to the cinema.

Last night, l'm not going to the cinema.

Wrong. - lt's not wrong.

Because last night, l'm not going anywhere at all.

You should have said, ' last night, l went to the cinema'

l'm telling you, l didn't went.

lt doesn't matter whether you did, or didn't. You're out.

l'm sorry l'm so late, Mr. Brown.

That's alright, Danielle. Were you held up by the traffic?

No, l was held up by a man.

Good heavens! You mean a mugger?

l don't now his name.

But he wors as a woodwor teacher here in the school.

One of the teachers here tried to rob you?

- No, not rob me... - Well, surely not...

- He was trying to chat me up. - Ahh, l see!

He wanted to tae me out.

You want, l give him a punch of five.

- He's bigger than you, Max. - Everybody is bigger than Max.

Hey! Watch what you're saying.

Now listen, this is school, so...

- Oay, come outside. - Settle down, you two.

Don't worry, Danielle.

l'm sure this woodwor teacher, whatever his name is...

was only trying to be friendly.

But he was trying to be more than friendly.

He would not let me pass until l agreed to have dinner with him.

This seems to have been rather persistent.

Then... eurea! What do you say? l had a brain wash.

Wave. - Yes.

l tell him l cannot go out with him...

because l'm engaged to be married.

Very good. Quic thinking.

- There's only one problem. - What was that?

l tell him l'm engaged to be married to you.

Me? - Yes.

- lt was a good idea, yes. - lt was a good idea, no.

- Did anyone overhear you? - Only Gladys.

Oh great! lt's as good as putting it on the news at ten.

lt'll be all over the school by now.

You say that Mr. Brown is engaged to his French student?

That's right. l heard her tell Mr. Javis in the tea room.

This is absolutely disgraceful.

l thought he might have the decency to tell me first.

- Tell you? - Yes. lt's most inconsiderate.

Oh dear! l'm sorry, l didn't now.

Know what? - Oh nothinkg... nothinkg.

l must be getting bac.

Gladys, did you tell anythinkg to Ms. Courtney about Danielle and me?

- Only in passing. - Oh great!

l didn't mean any harm. l had no idea she felt that way.

What way? - About you.

- What are you taling about? - Unrequited love.

You and her ladyship. She fancies you.

Don't be ridiculous! - lt's true.

She was very upset when she heard about you and Danielle.

Gladys, l don't now where you got this ridiculous story from.

You are completely mistaen.

No, l'm not. l heard her.

She told you that she fancied me?

Not in so many words, but l new.

lt was written all over her face.

- l can't believe it. - Yes, it's not unusual though.

Lots of older women fall for younger men.

My sister ran off with a 30 year old milman.

- Really? How old was your sister? - 65.

Ms. Courtney has always given me the impression she didn't lie me.

Oh well, women are very funny.

And she's at a funny age.

You can say that again.

Best of luc.

To think of it, you're not far off yourself.

Come in.

Ms. Courtney.

Well well! lf this isn't the college Casanova.

l've come to explain about that.

Are you sure you can spare the time?

lt's a complete misunderstanding

You see, l'm not really engaged to Danielle.

She only said that to stop one of the teachers from pestering her.

Really? - lt's perfectly true.

A professor of a woodwor class was trying to chat her up.

Mr. Javis? - ls that his name?

l've never met him. She concocted the whole thinkg...

just to get out of an embarrassing situation.

l see. - l'm terribly sorry.

- Especially in view of... well... - ln view of what?

- l'd hardly lie to mention it. - But you have mentioned it.

So you might as well continue.

lt's a perfectly natural thinkg to happen.

- What is? - For one person to be attracted to another...

despite the difference in their ages.

What two persons are you referring?

You and l.

You and l? - Yes.

Mr. Brown, l had no idea you felt lie that about me.

Pardon?

Well, as you said yourself, it's perfectly natural.

Oh, you poor dear boy.

You don't understand. - Oh, but l do.

Men have always found me rather fascinating.

l'm sure they have. Loo, let me explain.

There is no need to apologise for the way you feel.

- Ofcourse it's out of question... - Ms. Courtney, please...

Now don't start groveling.

- You'll get over it. - Yes, l suppose l will.

And now l suggest you go and quash this stupid rumor...

about you and your French fiancee.

Right, l'll do that. Than you.

- And Mr. Brown. - Yes, Ms. Courtney?

Don't worry about this bizarre little affair.

l shalln't tell it to anyone. Your secret is safe with me.

You're very ind.

Poor fellow.

- Give me a iss, come on. - Mr. Brown!

Danielle, why aren't you in the classroom?

l'm trying to tell Mr. Javis what's between us.

So he's Mr. Brown.

l'd appreciate it Mr. Javis if you stop pestering my student...

if you don't mind.

You're quite sensitive about her. Have green eyes?

Certainly not.

Come on then, as they say in this lovely lady's land.

Shut your garb!

Don't you spea to Mr. Brown lie this!

- He'll get aggressive. - Oh really?

- He's not frightened of you. - Oh, aren't you?

- Well, l'm not. - No, he's not!

And if you're not careful, he'll hit you.