Kongen befaler

"Just go for it"

Hello and welcome to Kongen Befaler ,

the show where five scatterbrains try to

scatter their way to victory, in scattered tasks.

And by my side, the man who is scattered in his own fat, Olli Wermskog.

That's me. Thank you.

Yes, it's nice to be here. - Absolutely.

It's actually nice to be here.

I see no reason why it shouldn't be nice.

You've never been away for a day, have you?

No, why would I? - I don't know.

I bet you show up here every time

because you never get tired of admiring the prize...

What could it be?

...that the winner of Kongen Befaler gets.

What could it be? Yes, it could be a...

Bust? - In gold, of me.

It's time to greet our eminent contestants,

who are trembling to get their claws into this golden head.

Petter Schjerven!

Ingar Helge Gimle!

Ingrid Gjessing Linhave!

Nora Svenningsen!

Jonis Josef!

Yes.

Now it's time for the prize task,

where the participants bring in something

in a category provided by you, Atle.

The item I think is the best wins 5 points.

Today I may have made it a little difficult.

I have asked the participants to bring something that is difficult to bring.

You can see that a bit already.

It looks like the task has already been solved by most of you.

Should we start at the end this time? Let's start with you, Petter.

This one was difficult to bring.

In many ways,

but also difficult in the concrete way,

because I have brought a safe that weighs 100 kg.

Oi!

Oh, damn!

Is that...

Is that a Franz Jäger from Berlin?

Yes, Egon will take it right away.

It's a beautiful safe, I have to say.

Yes, but I don't have the key, so I don't know what's inside.

That makes it difficult in another way. So if someone else wins it…

I've shaken it, and there are no gold bars in it,

but there might be some fluffy banknotes in there.

Have you never looked inside it? - No.

Where did you get it from?

I have it lying around.

Imagine if there's a deed in there,

showing that you own the whole of Akershus .

The entire 'county' of Akershus.

And it unfortunately expired 100 years ago.

How exciting. And you haven't been tempted to open it?

Yes, I have. It will be opened.

But if I lose it today, that would be difficult.

Yes, that would be difficult for you.

So it's difficult on many levels.

It's fantastic. - It's even nicer on the other side.

Can I have a look? - Yes, yes.

Wow.

You can also see it in the picture there.

I would say, the task cannot be solved in a more classic way than to bring a safe.

I went for the safe solution.

Yes, you're safeguarding yourself.

That's the correct reaction. That's good.

You know, people often get minus points for puns,

so that was a bold manoeuvre.

Puns and dad jokes.

Great. Let's see what Mr Jonis has brought.

Mr Jonis...

I don't know.

Mr Jonis has brought something...

I went through a break-up last year,

and then I lost "farm and land". Almost.

Oh yes?

No, I just wanted to use that expression.

I lost quite a lot of things... - You weren't married, were you?

I lost a lot of stuff.

We had an awesome sofa that she took.

And I was left with... this.

And there's something about being depressed,

alone in this thing.

And what also happened...

The reason why it was difficult to get rid of this…

At some point I thought "enough is enough",

Then a guy came over, looked at it and said: "No".

I notice what is happening here now.

Yes, it's sad that you had a cool sofa,

and then you ended up with that thing.

And it's not that this chair is that difficult to bring along.

You just really want to get rid of it.

So you are not planning to do your best today.

Obviously. - That kind of goes hand in hand.

You are very cunning. A high-ranked tactician.

Great. Nora, what do you have?

I have something that is difficult to bring in.

Namely this...

Oi!

Try that again, Nora.

This inflated swim animal that I bought in Turkey in 2015,

the first time I was groped.

Good memories?

That is why it's difficult to bring in,

because there is a difficult 'stolly', story behind it.

I get speech errors just talking about it.

This was in Turkey. I was 15 years old.

We were going to buy a swim animal to swim with.

That's why they're called swim animals.

Correct. They're clever that way. - The secret is in the word.

My father was haggling for this damn dragon,

and while he was doing that,

I was groped by the person who was selling it.

No! - And the sad thing is...

It was the first time I got groped,

but the sad thing is

that he stroked my stomach .

If I'm to be groped, can't he go for my tits or...

The salesman stroked your stomach while your father haggled with him?

Then I said: "We have to go, because I'm getting groped here."

Then my dad said: "No, I am getting that dragon!"

So it's a bit difficult. - You had to sacrifice a little.

Very well delivered, with a double meaning.

That was an unfortunate event.

We have you too, Ingrid.

I was thinking, what could be more difficult

than to bring something that is completely stuck?

Remember that it has been 18 degrees in Oslo, and this bush...

This morning I spent three hours digging it up from the garden.

I almost started crying.

I used a cake server,

and had buckets of boiling water that I poured on the ground.

And it has never really worked either.

I like that you are still angry with it,

even though you have got it up and brought it along to Drammen.

It's a shit bush. - That is progress.

I just have to say, I still have shit under my nails,

since I started scratching and crying.

I can imagine what you were like...

during the work on this.

So I have brought a bush.

It's very difficult to bring, and here it is.

Do you hope that you get to take it home?

No, absolutely not!

Then there will be a mediocre effort from you as well.

There are a lot of you who... Good tactics here.

What do you think, Ingar?

I've always wanted... What is it called?

A V-shaped body.

Narrow across the hips, and wide across the shoulders.

Yes, athletic. - Oi oi oi.

So I brought... - Oi oi oi!

That was a lot.

Between three and four in the morning,

Where you keep making bad purchases?

Yes, then I start dreaming of being the person I once wanted to be.

Like James Bond, with muscles and all that.

So then I start buying weights,

like that, to get a home gym.

But I'm afraid to show the packages that arrive,

so I stuff them under the bed.

And then I forget that I've bought them.

Then I come across them again, when I'm pulling out the bathroom scale,

since I'm trying to lose weight.

I found all this the day before yesterday,

when I pulled out the scale. I thought, "Is this for real?"

I have also bought some that are 14 kg.

I can't even lift them.

That is beautiful, poetic and great.

And a little painful. - It is a little painful.

I don't know why I do it.

But at least you don't give up.

I never give up.

One day I will have that body.

Yes. This one is tricky. - Yes, this one is very tricky.

It's difficult to bring within many different categories as well.

It's sad too, you know.

Sad stories.

People have exposed their personalities and their lives

for me to sabre them down and give them 1 point.

Do you realise how difficult my job is sometimes?

No-one is thinking of me!

5 points.

Thank you. Now I feel much better.

The bush gets 1 point.

Now I'm going to be strict. Strict, I tell you!

There, now I've done it.

You get 2 points for that!

Jonis, don't complain!

There?

That was a very good tactic, actually.

I'm satisfied with that.

Now that's over and done with...

Remember that I cried a lot in this thing.

The safe! 3 points!

Be happy with it.

Ingar, you get 4.

You get 5 for your sad story!