Tripped

Argh! (Groans)

- Danny? - We need to talk.

This is not the only world. There are millions of them.

And in every single one, there are other versions.

He's been hunting us ever since.

That means, in every single one, he's trying to kill us.

... kill us... kill us.

I'm sorry, Danny. You're gonna have to back that up.

- I zoned out for a second. - What?

- How far? - Oh...

The beginning. I took some killer mushrooms earlier.

- There's no time. Come with me! - Honestly,

you are competing with a lot of other stuff now which may or may not be there, like...

the guy behind you with a sword - who I really hope isn't real.

Whoa!

Raargh!

Run, Milo!

Argh!

Yargh!

OK. OK.

Cupboard. No, hide under the bed.

Oh!

This isn't real. This is just a bad trip, is all this is.

- OK. That does actually feel very real. - Milo, shut up.

You know my name. Have we met? Sorry. I'm rubbish with names. Ha...

Do you know how many versions of you I've killed?

Enough to get bored of it?

But it always ends like this.

Confused.

Helpless.

I've heard your last words so many times. Do you know how boring that is?

It's very boring.

So, go on... surprise me.

Ripped By mstoll

Hey, buddy. Here is your engagement present.

- These will blow your nuts off. - Milo, this is Kate's grandfather.

Oh. Mushroom?

- They'll blow your nuts off. Yeah? - He's joking.

- I'm not. - Milo.

- You're here. - Yes.

Offering magic mushrooms to my granddad.

You're never too old to have your nuts blown off.

Mum was looking for you. OK?

- See you later. See you in a bit. - Later.

- We started to think you couldn't make it. - Sorry to disappoint you.

When are the speeches?

Your mum and I have reservations at this new Korean place.

I don't know, Dad. I didn't make a timetable.

You're just gonna have to stick around and pretend to enjoy yourself.

Hi, Mr Gates.

Well, well. Look who bothered to turn up.

OK. I hate to tear myself away from all the simmering resentment.

- Well, well... - Could we at least try not to let this be weird?

Hi. Hi, everyone.

I just wanted to thank everyone for coming.

And thank you, Danny, for asking me to be your wife.

Aw! - It's all right.

I know it makes you sick.

Oh, and thank you to Paul, Danny's best man,

for being such a help in organising tonight.

We really couldn't have hoped for a better best man so...

everyone have a drink and I hope you have a good night.

Excuse me a moment.

All right, sausage?

- Oh, here we go. - Stairway To Heaven.

It's got to be.

- (Drunk groans) - (They laugh)

- Is he all right? - He's disappeared.

He's all right.

That is gonna stop being funny one day when someone actually breaks their neck.

- Someone really ought to fix that step. - (Danny laughs)

So... erm... the best man thing.

I... er...

I was gonna speak to you about it.

Fine.

I'm sorry, Milo. It's...

Paul has really made an effort with Kate, and you... you really haven't.

We're still mates, Milo, but right now, we're just at very different places in our lives.

Sooner or later, I had to start taking things seriously.

I can't be Dangerous Dan for ever, you know.

Even though you literally had "Dangerous Dan for ever"

- tattooed on your arse cheek in Faliraki. - I'm getting my big boy on. I'm...

I'm wearing cufflinks. I'm getting married.

- I even got promoted the other day. - Promoted?

You work in cat insurance. What can you even get promoted to?

Lion insurance? Lion...

It is pet insurance and I am actually covering all of the large mammals in the South West.

- Oh, well done, you. - It's a big deal for me.

Mate, come on. Don't go. Just like...

Have a couple more drinks or something.

- Why are we hugging? - Cos this is it. This is goodbye.

I'm never gonna see you again with your new cat insurance job

and your new wife and your...

- You will. - Stop. I won't.

- You're drunk. - I know. I'll see you around, Danny.

You have a... good life.

Ooh.

Milo. Paul, remember?

Oh, yeah. Paul.

Yeah. Word of warning. I am tout seul tonight.

The missus is feeling a bit rough so... er...

I am "on the beers" so to speak. (Laughs)

Evening, Gran.

Argh!

Danny?

Rargh!

OK.

- Ha. - I've heard your last words so many times.

Do you know how boring that is?

It's very boring.

So go on...

surprise me.

- Oh, well, that is a lot of pressure. I mean... - (Growls)

This isn't the end. There will be others... and others...

...and you will die.

You first.

Ha!

Argh!

Good timing. Good timing. I thought you were dead.

- It's not as bad as it looks. - Yeah. Good. Good.

Cos it looks like you've got a massive hole in your chest.

Shit. No. No.

No, no. Remember what I told you. OK?

You and Danny are special. You need to come find me.

- Find you? How? - Look for Goldenmire. Use the wristband.

Just remember what I told you and you'll be fine.

Milo, tell me you remember. Tell me you remem...

Maybe I should have got a pen. Um...

Dickhead.

- Morning, dickhead. - Mmm. Morning, arse flaps.

Oh, my little twat face.

Mmm. My one true shit-for-brains.

- Mm. - Mwah.

You need to get up and get changed because we are going to the florist.

Today? I feel rough. Can't we go another day?

You already cancelled three times.

- Are you trying to tell me something? - Of course not.

It's just...

You... You've got something in your hair. It's just...

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Now you are mine. Prepare to be ravished.

- Get changed, you twat. - Never!

Not until you have done stuff with me.

Oh!

- Hello. Danny, I am in trouble .

I need you to come over. Right now.

- Milo, are you still high? - I really hope so, Dan .

Just, please, come over. If it's the last thing you ever do for me.

OK. (Sighs)

- What is it this time? - I think he's just having a bad trip.

I know. I know.

- He hasn't got anyone else. - Yeah, and I feel sorry for him.

I really do but...

He probably just wants you to hang out with him.

Anything to get you away from the "evil woman" who stole his best friend.

He sounded genuinely freaked out.

- I will cancel the florist, then. - I'm sorry.

Pete.

That helmet come with a handbag, Miss?

Kate's.

You wearing her knickers too, are you?

I'm wearing man's pants, Pete. FYI.

Man's pants.

Well?

Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny...

- You OK? - Mm.

And then he disappeared.

But before that... that.

- Shit! He's really dead. - Mm-hm.

Milo, what have you done?

Me. No, no, no, no, no. This was you.

This was the Other You.

Wristband. The wristband.

The Other You had one of these. It got damaged and he disappeared.

- Sorry, I can't do this. This is crazy school. - Danny, wait!

- Shit! What did you just do? - I didn't do anything.

- This is too much, Milo. You've gone too far. - Danny, wait!

Dan, come on. Dan!

- You've got to help me here! - Who was that guy? And what happened?

Do you know what? It doesn't matter. I don't want to know. This is your mess, Milo.

Oh, yeah, leave me in the shit - like you always do.

Do you know what? I will. Because this is your shit!