Blunt Talk

Previously on Blunt Talk...

Leave me alone or I'll jump.

Just tell me who sent you and why.

I work for a private dick name Arbogast.

He tells me where to go and what to do, but not what for.

This is Dr. Rudy Kamper.

Off the record, what's your stance on anal sex?

What is the latest with Jimelia?

They're not speaking.

Jim was mistaken for a prostitute and had a brief affair.

I'm going to ask Rosalie number 2 if we can be open.

She's not a normal girl. She might go for it.

That's good. Honesty is always the best.

- -

Sorry, everyone. Gosh, I guess it was loaded.

The logbook, sir. Why would she take it?

They must want something on me.

What in the logbook is incriminating or humiliating?

- Everything, sir. - Fuck.

Say these words after me.

I despair of my sins.

I despair of my sins.

Oh, God of all goodness...

Oh, God...

... How could I ever have offended Thee?

... Of all goodness.

Mom, please.

I'm thirsty.

Is this what you want for your children?

Water from your neighbor's toilet?

Yuck.

Vote against Proposition 68.

Paid for by People for Clean Water.

All right.

Are you ready for round 2.5, babe?

Okay.

Do you always wear a towel around your head after a shower?

Of course. All men do. Why?

Nothing.

Hey, did you ask that because you think I shower too much?

I don't think I do. I... I don't know, maybe I do.

- Dr. Rudy, I... - I'm gonna be frank with you.

You should know who I am right from the start.

I need to keep my anus very clean.

It's a neurosis brought on by my job.

But please don't judge me.

I'm just really, really into you.

Oh, thank you.

Celia, where are you?

I've been texting all night.

I don't... I don't like you being alone with a gun

and not knowing how to use it.

Or maybe there's an ammonia gas leak.

Lots of people die like that

and never realize it.

Anyway, it's like you're sending me

telepathic cries for help.

So I'm gonna come over.

'Cause I'm worried.

And I know you're upset about Evelyn,

but I... I can't stop loving you.

Oh, this feels so good, Harry.

Oh, I just remembered.

I had another disturbing Orson Welles dream.

Oh, I liked it better, sir, when your subconscious

played Burt Lancaster films.

I agree.

In this dream, Orson was young

and he was a murderer.

Maybe... maybe I'm feeling anxious

about going to see this private detective, Harry.

There's also Vivian and Moby's rehearsal dinner tonight, sir.

Perhaps that's troubling you.

Oh, shit, I forgot. Why didn't you remind me?

I just did, sir.

Hello. Hello?

Rafe? Rafe, my boy!

What the hell is this?

I'm giving your father a witch hazel treatment.

It's good for circulation and joie de vivre.

- And it works. - Oh.

It's good to see you, son. But what are you doing here?

You got a fight? Why didn't you call?

No, no, no, no, no. I'm down for Vivian's wedding.

I figured you knew I was coming.

Oh, nobody tells me anything around here.

Vivian invited you?

Yeah, of course she did.

Of all my stepmoms, she's my favorite.

- Right. - More witch hazel, sir?

Or shall we get you dressed?

It's 8:00 A.M. and Arbogast opens at 9:00.

Oh, let's get dressed, Harry.

What's an Arbogast?

A private dick who's trying to sully your father's reputation

on behalf of a treacherous water conglomerate.

That is an excellent definition of an Arbogast, Harry.

Now, we have your mid-'80s Dan Rather look

or your late-'70s Serge Gainsbourg.

Oh, Gainsbourg, definitely, Harry.

Bien sûr, Major.

Please let me come in? Please.

Why? If you want to be with other women,

that means that you don't want to be with me.

We've been over this. I do want to be with you.

I just don't know if I'm capable of monogamy.

Nobody is, but you have to try.

I have tried, but maybe I'm too much like a bumblebee

and I just need to dip my stinger in all the beautiful flowers.

Oh, God. You make me want to hurt myself.

There's a lot of Motrin in here

and a rusty lady's Bic.

What? No, no, don't hurt yourself, please.

I-I'm sorry I said anything. I'm sorry I hurt you.

I'm an idiot and should be shot immediately.

I've come to an executive decision.

If you want to be with other women, then I need to be involved.

I don't want to lose you.

Involved?

It's good to see the top of your head, son.

Thank you, Walter.

Yeah, I can hardly believe it, but I've missed you.

How are your relations with those fight fixers?

Have you worked things out?

Oh, yeah, I squared things.

I threw a fight in Sacramento.

Still got the scarlet loaves to prove it.

Scarlet loaves of bread?

I believe he's referring to blood in his stool, sir.

Like matzo made with the blood of gentiles.

That sounds serious. Have you been to a doctor?

No, I hate doctors. You know that.

- What if I came with you? - What, and hold my hand?

Recently we had a very good doctor on the show.

Yeah, a little internal bleeding never bothered me.

Mmm, that was great.

But sorry it was so fast.

No, it was lovely. Don't worry.

You know, whenever I make love,

i.e., have premature ejaculation,

I like to think of that speech from Blade Runner

that Tyrell gives to Rutger Hauer.

- What speech? - Oh.

"The light that burns twice as bright

"burns half as long,

"and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy."

- Oh. - So that's how I make love.

Doesn't last long, but burns bright.

Celia, I knew it.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - I smell ammonia. Don't fall asleep.

Dr. Rudy?

Jim, what are you doing here? How did you get in?

I still have my keys and the doorbell doesn't work

and I've been texting you all night.

Oh, wait a second.

That's not ammonia gas I smell, it's spunk.

You bastard.

Jim, it's not what you think, okay?

Yes, we had sex two and a half times,

but it didn't mean anything. I'm a married man.

What? You're married? I can't believe you didn't tell me.

You booty called me at 2:00 in the morning. I figured you knew.

How dare you lie to my Celia.

I'm gonna kill you.

Jim.

Jim, I'm your proctologist.

I know how to choke you out.

Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him!

Jim, if I let you go, you promise to be reasonable?

Fuck you.

- - Oh, Jim.

He's been inside both of us,

but I still love you.

And he's out.

Rafe, maybe you should wait here.

I don't want to get you mixed up in this.

Oh, come on, I'm used to these lowlifes.

It'll do you good to go in with some muscle.

You mean additional muscle.

All right, Rafe.

It'll be like when you used to come to work with me when you were a boy.

What are you talking about?

I never came to work with you.

You didn't? Never too late.

What I want to do is flip this man, Rafe. Make him our Deep Throat.

- Flip? - Yeah, bring him on our side.

Make him a source. Prove that Rudolph Global

have been trying to silence me.

Why do they want to shut you up?

Because I'm on to them.

You got an appointment?

Oh!

I know you.

I got a common face.

I certainly recognize you, Mr. Blunt.

Oi, watch where you're going, sir.

Sorry, I'm nearsighted.

You were at Echo Park Lake.

I've been a lot of places.

Yankee Stadium, outdoor pissoirs in Amsterdam,