Tomorrow, You Pretty Ghost

Alright alright so,

Sam's lunch came today.

He ordered a chicken Caesar salad.

We have his Caesar salad. We took the chicken out,

and we're going to replace it

with dog food before he gets here,

and see if he notices.

Alright, let's add some dog food.

Hey Sam, here's your salad.

Oh, thanks. You're not eatin' nothing?

Nah, I didn't order anything.

I'll just watch you eat lunch.

Look at us, just two guys hangin' out and havin' lunch.

I mean one guy's havin' lunch, I'm not,

I'm not eatin' nothin'.

You just like watchin' me eat lunch, huh?

Yeah, I like watching you eat lunch.

Look at this salad. I'm eatin' healthy.

Yeah, I'm proud of you.

Oh, oh, what's that in the salad?

Is that chicken?

It's chicken, yeah.

It looks a little... dry.

It is a little dry.

That's weird. The menu said

it was supposed to be... moist.

The menu said it was supposed to be moist?

Yeah, it said it was supposed to be moist!

What are you laughing about?

Why are you laughing?

April Fools, face!

Am I eating dog food?

- Is this a joke? - What the?

Fuck this shit, fuck this shit.

Fuck this shit, fuck...

...this shit

Fuck this shit.

Fuck this shit.

Louie! You left the dog outside again.

I know I did!

I'm bringing him in!

Don't bring that goddamn dog...

...back in this goddamn house!

He's gonna get eaten by coyotes.

Do you want to have a funeral for our dog?

I'm bringing the dog back in.

Are you really,

really gonna put that dog outside right now, Louie?

Chas?

Stop! You better not bring

that dog back in here!

Dude, what is going on?

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.

Oh.

Do I-Do I not seem okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. I mean, I, I know I look,

like, fucked up, but...

No, no, you look,

you look fine.

I mean I'm, I'm not on drugs or anything.

Okay... um, that's, that's good!

You're just freaked out because you've never seen me

-with my hair this short. -Oh, yeah.

Maybe.

What's going on? Why are you here?

Just wanted to see you.

I hope that's okay.

Where'd you park?

I took the train.

Yeah, they don't trust me with the car.

-Do you live here alone? -Oh, you know what?

I live with my friend, um... Robbie.

Oh, oh, Robbie... a male friend.

Are you two like, um--

He's at his girlfriend's house right now.

Do you usually take the knife out when he's away?

No. I thought that someone was trying to break in earlier!

Oh.

That's fucked up.

Yeah.

I-I don't know, I was like probably just seeing shit,

to be honest.

Byproduct of the kind bud.

Yeah...

Well, uh, good thing you got that outta the way

before I showed up.

I-I didn't know that you were showing up---

Hey, I'm fucking with you.

Don't worry about it.

You are still so skinny.

You're still cool and you wear glasses.

-Well, I still hate contacts... -And I still hate contact, so.

Well, you hugged me, so.

Oh, man...

Oh, God...

You should've seen me after my first big panic attack.

Oh, God.

They put me on Lexapro, which increased my appetite,

so, I gained like, like twenty pounds.

But I looked, um... I looked great!

Yeah, thick even.

So, you're not on Lexapro now?

No, I'm-I'm not on anything anymore.

That's good.

Right? That's good?

Yeah, it's good.

So... you... how'd you know---

-So do you like... Sorry. -Sorry.

No, you-you go.

Just like, um... you know about my current situation, right?

My mom told me, like, a basic summary.

Well, allow me to give you the full Wiki article.

Which are basically summaries.

Wow.

Always busting my chops,

even when I'm trying to be real with you.

No, I'm... I'm so sorry, I'm just--

Hey, I'm fucking with you.

Relax.

Yeah, the anxiety started spring semester

of my junior year.

I was on my way to this restaurant that I liked

near school called the, um,

The Kicking Crab.

Cool name.

Yeah, you would like that name.

What?

What?

Like what do you mean?

I mean, like, you would like that name,

like, it's a goofy name.

-The fuck is wrong with you? -Sorry, I don't know why...

Please, go on.

It's okay.

Um.

Anyway,

I'm on my way to The Kicking Crab.

I was driving...

and I put on the car radio

and "Carry the Zero" by Built to Spill came on.

Which made me think of you,

which made me start crying.

And while I was crying,

I started thinking about crying.

And then I thought about that thought...

and all the thoughts I was having.

I was thinking about thinking.

There's a word for that... um...

"Metacognition" I think is... is what they call it?

Yeah.

And I was so unfocused on driving that I, uh,

crashed into a big sign in front of the restaurant

shaped like a crab.

I could've died!

But, um... but I'm fine now.

I mean, I wasn't fine for, like,

a really long time after that.

I started, um...

getting into some heavy shit to kind of, like,

shut my brain off.

But uh...

But yeah, I think I'm fine now.

So, you-you think it's gonna stick this time?

This time? What do you mean?

Didn't you just get out of rehab...

again?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Um...

yeah.

Yeah, it was a real positive experience.

Um.

And yeah, I think it'll stick this time.

But sometimes you, um...

can't anticipate the bend in the river.

Is that like something they say there?

Yeah, no, I, I think I read that somewhere.

Huckleberry Finn, maybe...?

Hey, well, if you ever need to talk to me about anything,

I'm here.

I am talking to you...

right now.

No, yeah, I know, I like...

but just, you know, if um...

if you need anything.

What do you need?

You know, like, uh...

why are you here?

So, like, um, part of my recovery...

-Mm-hmm. -...is that I have to make

amends with people I wronged while I was using.

And honestly, I wasn't really sure if you'd wanna see me

so I, um, got your address from Grace.

You could've just texted me.

I wasn't sure if you'd respond.

And I felt like I, I owed it to you to make amends

face to face.

You don't owe me anything.

What do you mean?

The last time that I saw you...