Girls

- I see you've met Hannah. - It's a writing job.

It's obviously one of those advertorial sections

which is both morally and creatively bankrupt.

So who's the sponsor?

My life is a mess, and I know that that was a personal choice,

but I feel like maybe it is time for me to unchoose that choice.

I don't understand how you can be so completely dumb.

- Dumb? - Yeah!

That didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

- Could you please sit down? - Why?

'Cause you have no one else to eat lunch with and neither do I.

I'm just realizing how easy it is to get seduced by the perks

and the money and the free snacks.

And then suddenly I wake up in 10 years

and I'm not a writer anymore, I'm a former writer who works in corporate advertising.

And that is not my plan.

I really can't deal with this right now.

You want to just e-mail me and let me know if you still work here?

- Hey. - Hi.

What's up?

- Hi. - Hi, how's it goin'?

It's good. How was the ride?

I have to fucking piss so badly,

- I'm gonna shit myself. - Oh, God.

I can't believe we're in the Hamptons.

Oh, no, this is the North Fork.

It's very different from the Hamptons.

It's, you know, for people who think the Hamptons are tacky

and don't want to be on a beach that's near a J.Crew.

J.Crew?

Where's Jessa? Did she not even show?

No, she just insisted on sitting in the back of the bus for political reasons.

I will text you the minute I recharge my phone.

So good to meet you. You guys are the best.

- Hey. - Hi.

Uh, I hope you don't mind.

I invited Rita and Luther to hang with us this weekend.

They're amazing. Luther's an orthodontist.

Yeah, the only thing is that my mom's friend Suzanne

was so generous letting us stay in this house this weekend

that it feels a little bit like it might be rude to have bus people in it.

Okay, don't worry. I mean, they probably won't come.

It was just, like, a token invite.

Not worried.

Oh, my God.

I call biggest and/or best room.

No one can call anything without saying "shotgun," okay?

Shotgun!

No!

Shosh, no, no, no, no, no.

I threw my bag on first. Do you know what that means?

- It means nothing! - Get off!

First one who gets in gets the bed.

Ow, your shoes are hurting me.

Hey, guys, you know what? Don't worry about it.

I think I'm just gonna take this room.

You guys, I had a feeling this was gonna happen,

so I went ahead and assigned the rooms.

So, Shosh is in here.

Hannah, you and I are downstairs,

- and Jessa, I put you in the lighthouse... - Great.

'Cause it's bohemian.

- Wait, there's a lighthouse? - No.

Wait, there's a lighthouse? Excuse me.

- It's all right. - You can have this room!

You can have this room.

So, we're sharing a room?

Well, it's two different rooms,

but they connect, so, options.

Cool.

I'm so excited. It's like old times.

Me, too.

This is so fun! It's so nice!

What? Oh!

Oh, thank God.

No!

Not funny.

That's not funny.

Ow!

Ow! This is so hard on my feet, you guys.

You were on the phone for so long,

you didn't hear what I said about swim shoes.

This is c... ow!

Oh, my God. I'm not staying down here.

It's like a monsoon is brewing.

It's the best swimming conditions imaginable.

I'm having the time of my life, seriously.

I can't go in open water unless I'm menstruating.

You guys, we're so disconnected now.

I thought this would just be a nice opportunity for us to have fun together

and, you know, prove to everyone via instagram

that we can still have fun as a group.

But we do still have fun as a group.

We don't need to have some, like, perfect weekend, you know?

- I don't know. I kind of like this idea. - Thank you.

I've learned a lot of great communication games in rehab

- and we could play those. - Yeah, they're so fun.

But I just think we have a lot of healing to do,

and we have a lot of ways that we could do it.

That's all I'm saying.

Should we start the healing now in this horrifying wind tunnel?

No, you know, I was actually thinking the healing would take place at dinner,

but after that, we would do face masks and watch "the queens of comedy,"

and then we could maybe write our wishes down on pieces of paper

and then throw them into a bonfire so they come true.

But for now we have to go grocery shopping.

Don't you think you should probably

be wearing clothes and shoes if you're going into town?

No, this is a beach town. That's not how they operate.

Okay.

"No bare feet." Fucking bullshit.

- Can I have your list, then? - Here you go.

- Where was that? - In my back pocket.

- You wanna wear one of my shoes? - No, thank you.

- You sure? - Yeah, I like it better out here.

Can you please get me some white cheddar goldfish?

I don't think Marnie will let me. It's not on the list.

- Okay. - Sorry.

Oh, my God, look, you guys. "Spring breakers."

- Oh, my God. - That makes me sick.

Hannah.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Hi-lo. Hi.

What are you doing here?

Um, uh, we all were just saying how much we love your bikini.

Yeah, so few people are going bold to the beach anymore.

- Absolutely. - That's not true.

I heard you laughing at it.

You did say it pretty loud.

Oh, my God.

We'll be in the wicker shop.

Okay, just give me a second, boo.

Yeah, but with you, one second's always about 20 minutes, boo.

Nobody was making fun of you.

I heard you.

It's a good thing I'm not as susceptible to criticism as I used to be.

What are you doing here?

Getting away from the daily grind of city life

and my high-powered job in the magazine industry

and making memories with my friends that will last a lifetime.

The usual. I don't know, Elijah. What are you doing here?

Um, you know, we're just staying at a friend's house

that I think we thought was a little more centrally located,

you know, like in the Hamptons,

so it's kinda weird that we're not in the Hamptons.

I don't want to make small talk with you, all right?

Hannah, I'm sorry.

About the "spring breakers" comment?

'Cause that didn't offend me. I think that movie

was a beautiful blend of art and commerce.

No, I mean... I mean, I'm sorry for everything.

For everything that happened the last time I saw you.

I feel terrible about all of it.

I think about you all the time,

and what are you doing? And what's wrong with her?

And what's she eating? And who she's mad at.

I just think about you all the time and I miss you so much.

Gosh, I miss you, too.

- I really miss you. - You do?

Every time I see something that sucks, like, royally but subtly,

I think to myself, "only Elijah would understand this."

And then I don't even remember why I'm mad.

Well, 'cause I had sex with Marnie.

- Yeah, no, I know. - Okay, okay.

And Marnie is acting like such a psychopathic nightmare.

Ugh, I can only imagine.

She's just, like, walking around, bossing everybody around

like a mean, skinny miss Hannigan.

Yeah.

Why don't you come over? Why don't you guys come over?

It'll fucking save the day.

Let's just forget everything and come over and save me from this hell.

Yes.

- I love you. - I love you.

What are you making?

It's called the North Fork Fizz.

Oh, that sounds so yummy.

I'm inventing it as we speak.

So, I gained 25 pounds, but then I lost 30 pounds.

Oh, amazing. How did you do it?

The Victoria principal diet.

Wow, what does that consist of?

It's black coffee and you can have one slice of turkey until 4:00 pm,

and then you can do whatever you want.

- Hannah, sorry to interrupt. - I could actually do that.

Could you come do a tick check on me in the other room?

- A tick check? - Mm-hmm.

I was just rummaging outside and I feel like I might have gotten a tick,

so I just need to talk to you in the other room maybe so you can check.

- Okay. - Oh.

- I'll be right back. - Okay.

- What? - I cannot believe you invited them.

What am I supposed to do, Marnie? They kind of invited themselves.

And, anyway, we cannot put this much pressure on our relationships.

This will really lighten the mood.

The mood is already plenty light.

I just really think this is gonna be important

and this is gonna be healing.

Elijah was the beginning of this whole rift.

I know, and that's why it's so weird he's here.