Danny Deckchair

Danny, Danny?

Jesus, Danny!

Bloody hell.

Danny, get up. Come on, dummy.

Get up here, bloody hell. Come on.

Jesus, Danny! Come on.

Get up. Move him, that's it.

All the way out. Is your head screwed on, mate? Is it?

'Cause that's the second time this week.

Aw, mate, what was I thinking?

I know what you're thinking. You were thinking about your bloody holiday.

Yeah, my holiday...

No.

Aw, forget it.

Ooh!

Two more days, Pete, and I'm on that plane.

- I thought you were going camping. - We are.

We're flying up to Port Douglas, gonna take the tent, do some camping.

So what? You're gonna take a tent,

sleeping bags, maybe a camp stove...

- you're gonna put that on a plane? - What's wrong with that?

It's just that normally, when people fly they stay in hotels.

I don't want to stay in a hotel. I wanna go camping.

Hey, Daryl, can they keep a boat in the driveway in Earlwood?

Can you hold on for one tic? Line three, thank you.

Look, it's even got a spa in the laundry.

Trudy, it's him! Sandy Upman, line two.

Sandy Upman?! The sports reporter?

You mean that big spunk on AUS 11?

Walked in off the street, last week. Said he wants to buy some real estate.

Sandy, thanks for calling back.

Yes, I found them, they were under the seat of my car.

Sure, Sandy, that would be great. I could show you some more properties.

Wednesday is fine.

2:00?

Listen, Sandy, could we make it more like 1:00 P.M.?

Great, maybe we can grab some lunch.

- Ooh! - Okay, see you then.

She's going to lunch.

Lunch with Sandy Upman!

- I mean he's practically famous. - He is famous!

Next week, I'm gonna... God, next week!

Hi, Trudy!

Hello!

Danny?

Hi, babes.

Danny, I can't go.

What?

I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I have to work next week.

- You what? - This afternoon

bloody Ray announces that he's gonna go to Brisbane for a week.

His sister died and he's gotta go out there.

- There's no way around it. - His sister?

Brisbane? Can't somebody else look after the office?

- It's my job, Danny. - Can't you make up an excuse?

I'm not like that, I've got responsibilities now.

I'm not some little secretary anymore.

He's been so quiet all weekend.

I'm afraid to leave him home tomorrow.

Donna, I feel lousy about this.

Come on, at least now you'll be home for the long weekend.

Maybe we can have a Barbie.

Right, good idea. We'll have it over here.

- Danny loves a good barbie. - Mm-hmm.

Sweetheart?

It's the long weekend next weekend.

You wanna have everybody over for a big Barbie?

You big sook!

Right, it's settled. I'll ring Bob and Kaz...

Sandy Upman in the press-room. - Thanks very much, Brian.

It appears we've got quite a struggle here at the SCG.

At quarter time, the Kangaroos are leading the Swans

- three goals to four, 22... - Hello, Trudy, are you there?

...this is AFL on AUS 11. I'm Sandy Upman.

Monday morning traffic is light...

Make way seletah rum dem mad feel!

While me rugged dance hall echoes

Fa'apa, boom-boom, fa'apa, boom-boom

Midnight reflect sunrays da di da da ooh

Screams from da' old plantation non-stop

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea

Screams from da' old plantation non-stop

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea

Scream from da' old plantation non-stop

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea

Let's take... let's take her back

Or take them back home to the motherland and teach

Let's take... let's take her back

Back, back, back.

Please, don't think... I'm not paying for them, all right?

My name is Phil Stubbs, not Snubbs, all right?

Yeah, you do all your paperwork. I just want the problem fixed.

- Phil? - You got...

Hey, Danny, how is it going, mate?

- Good to see you, mate. - Good to see you too, man.

How is the second-best footballer in the history of Earlwood High?

Second best to who, you old bastard?

Easy, fellow.

- Messing up your suit there, Phil. - No worries, mate.

- So you're still with Trudy? - Yeah.

Great, so you tied the knot then?

Well no, but... we own a house together.

- Mate, that's even worse, eh? - Yeah.

Hey, listen, you tell me... what's wrong with this picture?

- I thought it was Stubbs. - Exactly. You got that?

You... you own Car City?

Yeah, doing well, mate, doing well.

In fact, we're having a big sale over the long weekend.

We are really doing it up, I tell you...

raffles, giveaways for the kids, the works!

Maybe you should have a pancake breakfast.

- A what? - Big pancake brekky.

I saw it on TV... all these people out in the car park eating pancakes.

- Yeah. - Excuse me.

- Eating pancakes, huh? - That's right.

You are a nutter, mate.

You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, what the hell! Here, have a balloon.

Thanks, Phil.

Yeah...

Oh, I love polka dots.

So, tomorrow is the big day?

Sandy Upman, beware!

She'll just chew you up and spit you out, eh?

- Just like Danny. - You cut it out, you guys.

I feel bad enough as it is.

I mean every year we go on holiday and everything's fine.

But give him some time off at home,

and he starts climbing the walls.

I haven't been up there for a while.

Danny?

Danny!

I though he might be over there with Pete.

No, no sign of him.

This is getting to be too much.

I mean, you know how he comes up with all these stupid ideas.

Like the time he made a human slingshot?

Tell me about it.

But now, every night I come home and he is doing something weird.

He just doesn't know what to do with himself.

- I know it sounds cruel. - No, go on.

Well, things are really taking off for me.

You know... you want to know what?

Danny...

Well, Danny's a cement man.

He'll never be anything but a cement man.

Oh, I'm not saying he is dull or anything but...

he's one of the little people.

You know what I mean?

Hi, Danny.

- Trudy here? - You just missed her.

- She just stepped out with... - Sandy, do you have a listing

for that house down on the waterfront, you know the old...

I thought you had to go away this week.

Right, right, I was supposed to go away,

but... well, it was a bit of an emergency, Danny.

- My brother had... - I thought it was your sister.

No, it was my brother. She's all right now.

It was a bloody awful thing, Danny. It was a very close call. Danny!

It's the kind of prose... I don't want to use names like Dylan Thomas.

Sandy Upman...

- Sandy! Up the mighty Saints - You know it, buddy.

You see his bum crack was showing?

Hey, what're you waiting for?

Come on!

What are you looking at?

Polka dots.

I went by your office today.

I was gonna surprise you for lunch.

I saw Ray there.

You know what? He's been there all week.

No, he didn't, he just got back, just this morning.

He got back early. He went to his sister's...

I don't think Ray even has a sister. What's going on?

Oh, nothing is going on!

- What's all this business about... - Okay, I lied.

But only because I didn't want to go on some stupid camping trip.

- So we could have gone on holiday? - Yeah, sure.

We could have gone and sat in a leaky tent for two weeks.

What kind of a holiday is that, Danny?

I thought you wanted to go camping.

Well... no.

But we've been planning it all year.

I told you to go ahead and go by yourself.

Yeah, well maybe I will.

Fine. What? So now you're gonna go!

And what do I tell all our friends we've invited to the Barbie?

What Barbie?

This weekend, the long weekend.

It's your Barbie!

I'm standing here

On the ground

The sky above won't fall down...

- Thanks, Clair. - Okay, see you.

Don't change for you

Don't change a thing for me.

Yeah... right.

- Hi! - Hi.

- Come in. I'll take this. - Hi, how you doing?

- So how was lunch? - Shh.