Deutschland 86

Ah.

How do you feel?

Where am I?

About a hundred miles south of Tripoli.

In Libya?

Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, yes.

What happened?

You were injured and we took care of you.

Why?

You're our... guest.

I was in Angola.

With a woman and a boy.

Lenora? Roberto?

- Where are they? - You were brought here alone.

Who brought me?

Gary Banks, of course.

On his plane.

Are you going to open it?

Do you want me to open it?

They're shutting us out.

From what?

The hospital. Now this.

I'm scared.

Pick up exit visa application forms.

Before it's too late.

East German Foreign Intelligence Service HQ, East Berlin, East Germany

I don't know about you,

but this morning I caught a whiff of spring in the air.

Comrade Dietrich, please update us on the numbers.

Yes.

The latest from our sanitation initiative is very positive.

The expansion of waste collection from many West German urban centers,

Hamburg, Cologne, Frankfurt, has been a success.

Last year we collected three million cubic meters of household waste

from West Berlin alone.

I'm pleased to announce that

since we began the initiative,

we've amassed a net profit of one billion West Deutschmarks.

Very good, Comrade Dietrich.

Excuse me.

We're letting the West dump its trash here just to balance our books?

Isn't that beneath us?

Why shouldn't we profit from the West's excessive consumption?

Well.

For a billion Deutschmarks...

Who are you anyway?

Comrade Schweppenstette.

He's new to our special unit.

- Special Commission. - Special Commission.

He's taking the lead on Operation Atlantic.

Operation Love Boat.

Well, yeah, Love Boat.

Please walk us through it.

Gladly.

A certain Werner Esselbaum, a television producer in West Berlin,

has agreed to broker

the sale of a new cruise ship for our most distinguished workers.

Well, this ship...

is not just any ship.

It's the very cruise ship that until recently was used

for the ZDF's legendary TV show, The Love Boat.

Which is to say,

the platonic ideal of a cruise ship.

How much does that thing cost?

I already told you, you've got 90 million. Not a penny more.

Just listen.

We'll make up the additional cost by taking eight rooms

out of the bottom floor of the boat here to make room

to hide sensitive cargo bound for South Africa.

And by sensitive, I mean

very valuable cargo.

As you know,

UN sanctions make it very difficult for western manufacturers

to sell goods to South Africa officially.

But our cruise ship

is the perfect hiding place

while our distinguished workers

enjoy a grand view of the sea from up on deck.

Due to Comrade Rauch's work in South Africa,

we have a direct line to help on the ground there

who can facilitate deals for us

so we can deliver anything

the West Germans want to sell to South Africa.

Vehicles, chemicals, weapons.

Completely under the radar.

And you thought shoveling their shit was beneath us.

It's a brilliant idea.

Please continue.

West Berlin, West Germany.

The punishment was so much crueler than the crime.

In jail I was interrogated, isolated, threatened, confused.

I copped to destruction of property pretty quickly.

Trespassing, too.

But treason?

My crime was just youthful rebellion.

What is youth without rebellion anyway? A youth spent in East Germany.

We'll broadcast this out of West Berlin in range of East German radios,

so people from both sides of the Wall can hear it.

Pffft. There are dozens of people who want to speak up...

Are you out of your minds?

Those people are unprotected. You'll put them in danger.

You play their stories on the radio,

and you're playing with their lives.

You always want to be a hero, Thomas.

But you haven't thought this through.

The punishment was so much crueler than the crime.

In jail I was interrogated, isolated, threatened, confused.

I copped to destruction of property...

And we've changed all the names.

You don't know who you're dealing with.

If this recording plays in East Berlin, prison will be the least of her worries.

Well, Tobias. Then you can just buy her out.

Excuse me?

Buy her from the East German government, like you bought me.

Saving East German dissidents always makes a good story over here.

I'm not the one with a novel about East Germany on the bestseller list.

Hmm.

So? How much was I worth to the West German Government, hmm?

Over here, folks!

He has blue eyes and writes great sex scenes.

Excuse me.

Tischbier.

Can you talk?

One moment.

Yes, we all are in favor, but not in this form.

In precisely this form!

Leader of the Libyan Socialist Revolution Muammar al-Gaddafi

receiving East German Communist Committee member...

Günther Kleiber,

Deputy Chairman of the East German Council of Ministers,

for a friendly conversation.

Günther Kleiber, who at the invitation of the Libyan leadership

is attending talks on the deepening cooperation

with the Socialist Libyan, Arab People's Army...

Now.

WEST GERMAN EMBASSY OCCUPIED

Good work in South Africa. Everyone here was very pleased.

What's next?

A new way of revealing subversive citizens has just fallen into my lap.

Could you be more specific?

I need more time.

Besides, we're recovering from our exhausting trip to Cape Town.

It was our party's greatest public relations triumph to date.

I am more interested in the future.

You?

Where's your sense for the collective?

Just be quick about it.

I'll do my best.

Muammar al-Gaddafi thanked Erich Honecker for his greetings

and sent him his own.

He praised East German peace policy,

solidarity with Libya and the struggle of Arab peoples.

She likes you, huh?

She was there when I woke up. She follows me.

What is it?

When you folded my clothes, when I was asleep,

did you find a photograph?

No.

Come in, I'm Khaled.

Please sit. You're among friends.

He's so short. And young.

Kolibri means hummingbird. Hummingbirds are small and fast.

- Are you sure it's him? - Gary Banks insists it is.

But at this price, we had better be sure.

Judging from the way you looked like when you arrived,

you are lucky to be alive.

Tell me about yourself.

- Is this a job interview? - Maybe.

I come from East Germany.

But for the past three years,

I've been working as a German teacher in an orphanage in Angola.

Yes, and before that?

I was a soldier in the East German army.

A border guard in Berlin.

- That's it? - More or less.

You know, we are comrades in arms.

Our brotherly leader is a great admirer of your country.

Like you, we are anti-West, anti-American.

In East Germany we define ourselves also in terms of what we are for.

Just as you.

State for the people, by the people.

Just imagine if we pooled our resources

to pursue common interests.

Actually my sister lives in East Berlin. Her husband is the Libyan Ambassador.

- Have you ever been? - No, no.

She only tells me about crossing over to the West and shopping

along a Boulevard with a very strange name. Ku'damm?

I cannot find it on the map.

Yeah, that's... because it's a nickname.

On a map it's called Kurfürstendamm. Should I write it down?

Thank you.

Anyway, I hear it is very cold.

- I prefer to meet her in Paris. - I've never been so ready to go home.

Excuse us for a moment.

BOMB ATTACK IN PARIS!

Where were we?

My job interview?

Look, Gary Banks told us some impressive stories about you.

How much does he want for me?

So all the stories are true?