Samui Song (ไม่มีสมุยสำหรับเธอ)

Excuse me

May I borrow a light?

Uh...

and a cigarette as well?

Thanks.

You forgot something.

Sorry about that.

Nowadays, before suffering from lung cancer

we smokers have to suffer from social stigma first.

Look at us, banished to the parking lot like this.

Sure.

My name's Guy.

Hi.

Maybe people like us should move to Turkey.

It's like a smoker's paradise there.

You can smoke in restaurants, pubs, and any bars.

Maybe they'll even let us smoke inside hospitals.

When were you there?

Where?

Turkey.

I didn't say that I was there.

I heard it from a friend.

Your friend must have been there ages ago.

It's not like that anymore.

Uhm...

That's a shame.

So what are you here for?

Lung cancer or social stigma?

I'm here for my mom.

- What's wrong with her? - Oh, nearly everything.

Kidney failure, diabetes, bone disease, deafness

and even Alzheimer's.

But she's lucky that she has Alzheimer's.

How's that lucky?

She forgets she has all those other diseases.

How about you?

What happened to your head?

Accident.

But my car had it way worse.

Which car?

Don't worry. I have to get a new one anyway.

Could you help me bring it here?

Can I repay you by treating you to lunch?

Do you know how much this bumper costs?

A meal won't be enough.

No, I mean repaying you for the cigarette.

That question again...

Let me explain.

The way we recite prayers in a language that we don't even understand

it's useless.

They're just ancient rituals passed down to us.

It's much more useful to learn from reading or from life experience.

But why is it bad to pray?

See, most people

when they pray they also make a wish.

They wish to be rich or successful.

They turn prayers into wish fulfillment. Do you pray?

- Yes. - What did you wish for?

If my film earns 100 million baht then I'll offer a pig's head.

Did you make it?

100 million?

Not even close.

- Did you make the offering? - Yes.

See?

Even though you didn't get 100 million, you still made the offering.

It's true.

People are strange.

'If I pass my exam I'll run a hundred laps'

'If I make 100 million I'll offer a pig's head...'

Vi...

- Vi. - Hmm.

The Holy One asked about you today.

I told him you were not feeling well.

Why did you lie?

Not really...

I didn't know what else to tell him.

Tell him the truth.

That I don't like him, I don't look up to him

and I don't believe in his absurd philosophies.

Just tell him the truth.

Can you at least attend the blessing ceremony tomorrow?

If you don't want to get slapped

then keep your mouth shut, you bitch.

If you don't want to get slapped

then keep your mouth shut, you bitch!

Vi!

Good night.

Good night.

Is that a new perfume?

What's wrong with you?

Somebody went shopping?

It feels nice.

How much is it?

Don't remember.

Wow.

It's not cheap, Vi.

Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding.

There will be lots of press there.

The press...of course!

In that case you must buy a new dress.

I'm your wife.

If I look good, you'll look good too.

That's so sweet.

For sure you made me look fantastic today at the monastery.

And you didn't even need an expensive dress to do it!

How could you do this to me?

That cult is making you crazier every day.

You know that?

That so-called religion with its so-called rituals

all made up by that crazy old man.

And those women fawning over him like groupies.

How can you look up to him?

- You're not making sense! - Oh, now I know.

The reason why you joined

is because you want those sluts to come your way, right?

Enough!

But it's no use anyways...

because that little cock of yours

isn't crowing anymore.

'Guy Spencer'

Why don't you divorce him?

Then I'll be flat broke.

If I divorce him, I won't get a penny.

He has to divorce me. It's in the contract.

That contract again?

Yes.

He hits you too?

Last night. I was really scared.

Your story reminds me of a friend in the Philippines.

Exactly the same case.

But my friend was lucky.

She woke up one morning...

and her husband disappeared.

He went to work...

and never came back.

How did he disappear?

No one knows.

He just vanished.

I wish that would happen to me.

Would you like it to?

It's possible.

You sound like you're in the movies.

Lots of movies are based on true stories.

I have to go.

Thanks for the lunch.

Thanks for the cigarettes.

I want to be in his film.

I'll even audition for it.

Why? His films make no sense!

That director makes movies that no one understands.

He's harsh, and pays peanuts.

- Have you seen his movies? - Once.

Slept through it.

- Which one? - Can't remember...

The one where a guy wanders around a ship the whole time.

When I woke up, he was still walking in that damn ship.

I'm bored with soap operas.

Bored of being evil.

I want something different.

You can't afford to be bored!

What else do Thais watch except for soaps?

Plus, aren't you famous because of those bitchy roles?

Whenever you're ready, sir.

Young people are always in a hurry!

- Isn't that right, Deputy? - Yes, sir.

Do you have beer?

Yes, sir.

Please bring three bottles.

Maestro. Shall we?

Please follow me.

Vi!

Vi!

Just a minute!

She's all yours.

Close the door.

Close it.

You don't need to wear that.

What can I do for you, Sir?

Have a seat.

Would you like more beer?

Let's give your wine a try. Something classy.

Sure!

This is a very nice one.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Cheers!

How about some music?

Yeah, it's a bit quiet, huh?

This music is perfect for this wine.

Maestro.

This one's more perfect.

For sure.

I love eating tasty young liver! And love the young eating liver!

Been eating it since young, you'll see my iron power

Too sweet, too fat, too dull, I want none of 'em

I could die for tasty liver! I could die for tasty liver!

Before I sleep I must have my liver, liver, liver, liver!

Liver, liver, liver...

'Did you sleep well, beautiful?'

I'm getting some milk. Need anything?