Black Sheep

And now let's welcome our hometown hero,

the next Governor of Washington, AI Donnelly.

Attention, Buckley residents, voters of all ages, vote for AI Donnelly.

He's the best man for the job. You can count on Al, that's for sure.

Hey, foIks, if you're wondering who to vote for,

AI DonneIIy's the man for the job.

Time to go home now, IittIe doggies. Nothing for you in this truck. No food.

Dogs, I want you to go home. Get off my bumper.

Come on. Jesus.

God.

Oh, my God.

What is it with you dogs?

You think this truck is in heat or something?

Get out of here.

You know, if I got the same weIcome everywhere I went

that I get right here in my hometown, my candidacy wouId be a Iock.

With your heIp, we wiII make it all the way to the Capitol!

- Al Donnelly! Al Donnelly! - Al Donnelly! Al Donnelly!

- Did you do this? - No, no, no, did you?

Oh, my God.

There is a God.

Tell me that is not your brother.

What the hell is a marquee doing here? It's crazy.

Al, I'm so sorry, man. I don't know what happened.

Mike, forget about it.

What'd you think, it was a drive-in movie?

I could get some time off from the Rec Center.

They said it was no problem when I said I was gonna help with the campaign.

So I was thinking maybe I could go on the road with you and help out, or...

Look, Mike, Mike, I know you're behind me in this 1 00%,

but I kind of need some different help from you.

Man, whatever you want, you know that. The fighting Donnellys stick together.

That's right. All right. Listen, I've got a lot of good people in my corner.

They're smart people, and they want what we want.

And we're gonna get there, it's just gonna take some finesse.

I'll do anything. You just name it and I'll get started.

All right. And there's a lot to be done right here.

- I mean, like phone canvassing. - Right.

Stuff like this. Just stay put and I'll get you the details, all right?

- We're gonna do it, little brother? - Yeah.

All right.

- Come on. Let's go. - All the way, Governor.

Dock workers union. Come on.

Let me make myself clear. My brother is a priority.

Now let's just find someone in the organization.

Just as long as he or she is reliable and helps Mike make a contribution.

So just find someone and give them the assignment now.

- Fine. - Excuse me,

Mr. About to be Governor-Elect Donnelly.

This assignment you were just describing.

If someone were to voIunteer for this gig and did the job weII,

wouId he or she possibIy earn a staff position in your new administration?

Steve, not now.

Hey. Yes, he or she most certainly would.

Then I am your man.

Hi, there. This is Mike Donnelly, I work over here at the Recreational Center.

To be honest with you, I pretty much run the place.

Is this Pat Giles? Good, good.

Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of Avery... Atwood.

Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit

about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly is a guy with a dream.

His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington.

Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right?

Between you, me and the wall, I had a doozy myself last night.

Get this, a corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun,

a Flemish peasant woman whips, chains, whistles, yo-yos,

a circus midget,

my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck.

I don't know... Are you crying?

My lord. I am sorry. Honey, please don't...

Could you get your daddy on the phone? No, don't hang up. Please.

All right, I want a 32 belly option on two, on two.

Ready? Break.

Hut one. Hut two. Let's do it.

Yes!

Yeah. Hey, little girls. I'm gonna buy my mamma a new house.

- This sucks. These teams aren't fair. - What's the matter, Sullivan?

You mad 'cause you found out the new kid got an arm?

- Suckers take the walk. - Screw this. I quit.

Fine then. Here's to the winners.

Yeah. Kemp, fake head butt. DeSalvo, fake head butt.

New kid, fake head butt. You broke my nose!

There's so much blood.

Mr. Donnelly, I swear, I did not mean to do it. Please.

Ketchup packet.

Come on, guys, this is weird. Let's go play some kickball.

Yeah, come on, man.

Forget those guys.

What's your name?

- Scott Colleary. - Colleary?

- You got a hell of an arm, Colleary. - Thanks.

Yeah.

- Don't worry about those guys. - Yeah, they don't like me too much.

- Is your mom picking you up? - My mom and dad got a divorce.

I have to live with my grandma now.

Come on. Label your streets like the rest of the country.

Buddy, are you okay?

I'm not that far from dragging you out of the car and beating you into dust.

You should work up to that. Kind of leaves you nowhere to go.

I can go to your mama's and start a small fire in her panties.

Now, are you ready to get out of the car?

- No, sir. - Come on, come on.

You know what? That was my fault, and I'm really sorry.

Here, I got something for you. It's kind of a souvenir. Here it is.

Goodbye.

Shit. I don't believe this.

Damn it. I gotta ditch this guy.

Hey!

- That's my grandma, Mrs. Oneacre. - Hi, ma'am.

Bet you made some nice friends today, huh?

See you.

Scott.

God gave you a hell of a throwing arm,

and I'll be damned if I'll let that go to waste.

I want you out on the football field, you and me, every day,

- working on your game. How's that? - Sure.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

- Hey, Mikey. - Hey, Robbie.

I spoke to Anderson at the theater, he wants me to lock you up.

I bet your brother's righteously pissed, huh?

No, he was pretty cool as usual.

I wanna show you something. Come here, check this out.

In fact, I'm gonna be working with one of his top guys.

Nitrous Oxide boosters. This thing must haul major ass.

You could say that.

Great.

Damn it.

Get out of my way, buddy.

You know what, lady? I got something for you.

- A souvenir for you here. - Yes?

Never mind. Forget it.

Well, what are you doing? Playing pocket pool there, son?

- Excuse me. - Hey, you got a little chubby going there.

Dream on, you little fart.

Please don't be Mike Donnelly.

- Hi. - Hey.

I'm Steve Dodds, one of your brother's advisors.

- His top advisor, actually. - Wow. It's great to meet you.

Nice to... Nice to see you.

Al, your brother, told me to drop everything, come down here,

kind of get you organized for the final push for the big election.

Well, let's get to it. Team Donnelly gonna kick a little Tracy butt.

What I thought is, we'd start with the supermarket down here

and canvass that area first.

- I... - Yeah, no, no, no, trust me on this one,

- it's a good idea. - But...

Listen, I'm running this show.

You've gotta take my advice. I know what I'm doing.

- Do you have to go to the bathroom? - Please pop the hood.

- Please. - Your thumbs! The hood.

Okay. What latch? Where do you want me to...

Just pop the hood! Please!

Popping the hood.

Good afternoon, sir. We'd like you to vote for Al Donnelly for governor.

- We appreciate it. - Yeah, thanks.

Hi, ma'am.

Vote for Donnelly.

Sorry.

Listen, I think it's better if we bring the energy down a tad.

Are you kidding me? These are potential voters. It's showmanship.

You gotta go out and get them. Watch and learn.

- Hi, folks! Vote for Donnelly! - Good God, man!

- Here, let me get that for you, sir. - Look, I drove down here,

I think I can put the groceries in the trunk.

A little help from the Donnelly campaign.

Back off, buster.

- Come on, Mother. - Let me help you, sir.

- Get in the car, dear. - All right, Mother.

Folks, I'm having a little trouble here.

Help! Help, please!

He must be all hopped up on crack cocaine.

Floor it, Harold.

I can't, I can't... Help!

- Good, I think I've lost him. - Stop! Please!

Okay.

- Good first day. - Yeah.

Washington State. Isn't it a great place to raise a family?

That's because, for the last eight years, I've worked very hard as your governor,

to make sure our state is clean, safe and fiscally sound.

If reelected to a third term, I'll do my best as your governor

to make sure that all the hopes and dreams of Washingtonians come true.

- Cut. - I need a break.

I'll be right back.

Did you get the latest polls?

Donnelly's brother took a campaign van on a rampage.

He can't get a break, even in his hometown.

He doesn't need a break. They just gained another two points.

We're all right. A lot can be done in a week.

If we don't do something soon, he'll be living here.

Who left this crap in here?

- Promise me you'll stay in the car. - I promise.

What do we got here? A tall, cool one.

Yeah.

Go for it.

I wanna get wrecked!

Check it out.

Yeah, man.

Smoking, snorting, shooting, sucking, toking, popping, dropping.

Let's do a little dance.

I'll party with you!