MobLand

The Stevensons have invited the Harrigans

- to Tommy's funeral. - It's a trap.

It's obvious Richie wants us all

in the same place so he can mop us up.

Harry, what does your gut say?

I think it's genius.

The fact is, we're damned if we go,

and we're damned if we don't.

He wants you to know he knows something.

And he wants to humiliate you.

What do you want, H?

I need insurance.

I need you

to put these guns somewhere

inside Richie and Vron's house.

- Hello, Edward. - So sorry for your loss

of Tommy.

You know, I asked you here today to see if you'd come.

And you came. And I respect that.

So there'll be no war. But if I see

Eddie Harrigan, he's fair game.

How in God's name does Conrad fuck that?

That fucking cunt.

Insulted me to my face.

- Paul? - Yes, Maeve?

Fuck me.

- Zosia. - Donnie's back.

Who?

Donnie.

He said if I send him away, you're gonna regret it.

Put him on.

You've been a hard man to find.

You got ten seconds, mate. Go on.

- My boss sent me to find you. - Who's your boss?

Kat McAllister.

Boy's gone a bit quiet.

How do you know Kat McAllister?

Kat's got a proposal.

I got the digits.

- If you want to hear it... - Listen.

You can give my associate back her phone now, yeah?

Zosia?

- I'm right here. - Take that number down

but do not put it in your phone.

You need to memorize it, okay?

Then fuck him off.

Well, Freddie, what can I do you for?

What can you do for me?

What can you fucking do for me?

Calm down, mate. What's happened?

Kev. Grab Bella, yeah?

Fast as you can. Get her up the Cotswolds.

I'll call you back in three minutes.

Fuck me.

I bought you a book.

Oh.

- Have you read it? - Yeah. It's good.

Maybe I'll regift it to Harry.

Feel free.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Hey.

Jan, where are you?

What's happened?

Let me know if there's anything I can do.

- Yeah, I will. Thanks. - All right.

- What's going on? - I'll let you know

when we get there. Come on.

Fisk.

They're on the move.

You must write clearly in black ink.

You must not use correcting pens, erasable pens.

You must not use highlighters or gel pens in your answers.

If the fire alarm sounds, remain seated

and wait for instructions from the invigilator.

The three hours starts now.

You may begin.

Sir?

Gina, we have to go.

Dad, what the fuck are you doing?

- Excuse me. What are you doing? - I'm her dad.

- I'm in an exam. - We have to go now.

This is an exam.

Get your hands off me, yeah?

- Fuck off. - Look at me.

We have to go.

Now.

Excuse me. Excuse me, sir?

Do you know how fucking hard I worked for that?

- Get in the car, Gina. - I fucking hate you!

- All right. - What is this?

- Come on, just get in the car. - Get in the car.

Get in the car.

We'll explain on the way.

Zosia, can you get Kiko and you up to the Cotswolds, please?

Do you know who Franz Ferdinand was?

Shit band?

Franz Ferdinand was heir to the throne of Austria,

got assassinated and started the First World War.

Vron Stevenson is Franz Ferdinand,

and this?

This is war.

# It may feel bad #

# It may feel bad #

# I wanna see you alone, I wanna sharp the stone #

# I wanna bounce the bone, I wanna mess with it #

# I wanna lay the Deville, the whole crew on the sill #

# I want the preacher and pill, I wanna bless with it #

# I wanna head to a mass and get cast in it #

# That shit's funnier than any A-class, innit? #

# I wanna talk with the clown who has apologies down #

# Pay him 300 pounds to take a class in it #

# I wanna bite the phone, I wanna bleed the tone #

# I wanna see you alone, alone, alone, lone #

# I wanna strait the shark and find me somewhere to park #

# Like the light when it's dark, it's dark, it's dark, dark #

# A few stars about make it feel like peace #

# In a way #

# A complimentary round #

# Constellation got a twist in it #

# For a GPO and all the hits in it #

# I'm gonna hit your business if it's momentary blissness #

# I'm gonna hit your business if it's momentary blissness #

# I'm gonna hit your business if it's momentary blissness #

They should have some rooms squared away for us.

- Best behavior, Gina. - Fucking hell.

What is that?

It's a book Alice recommended.

Surviving Change?

Maybe you should take a look at it.

You should get something to eat, yeah?

Fuck off.

Fucking hell.

Hello, Kev.

- All right. - Bella here?

Yeah, she's upstairs, go and find her.

- Wonderful. - All right, then.

All right.

Who planted the bomb?

I've only just got here.

But I think I know who might've given the order.

- Who? - Mum.

- Did she say that? - She doesn't have to.

Ah, there you are now.

Everyone's gathered. Yep.

All right.

First of all, I'd like to thank Harry

and his people for all their fine efforts...

Can I just say something?

What the fuck just happened?

Mum?

Well, don't look at me.

What I'd like to know is which one of you fuckers

slipped me a Mickey Finn?

My head feels like I drank a pint of Strypit.

Do you know how hard Harry and I have been working

to keep the peace?

Your mother didn't give the order.

It was me.

Why?

- "Why?" - Yeah, why?

Do you know, it doesn't really matter.

What's happened has...

Why?

"I hate you

with every bone in my body.

I wish you and yours nothing but ill will."

You think I'm gonna stand there

and let Richie Stevenson mouth me off

with my son standing there?

I'm Conrad the Dread "100 Fucking Guns" Harrigan!

I gave the order.

And Paul here, he placed the package

- five days ago. - Seven.

- When Vron was in Westfield's. - It was Brent Cross.

So, while we've been keeping the peace,

Vron's been driving around with half a pound of Semtex

six inches from her ass?

C-4, and it was two pounds.

- Shut up, Paul. - It was plan B.

I want peace.

But if Richie Stevenson disrespects me like that,

I'll push the fucking button.

It wasn't your mother.

- It was me. - I told you so.

I always liked Vron.

- She's funny. Well, she was. - Now she's dog food.

And we're at war!

We're gonna take those fuckers out one by one.

Their friends, their families.

We're gonna cut off the Stevensons' empire

and we'll bleed Richie white.

Kevin, I want you to call the Mexicans,

set up a meeting.

I'm gonna make them an offer on the Fire.

I don't know

the fucking Mexicans.

The only one of us that had an in was Archie.

Oh, and are you forgetting Vegas,

- Dad? - My God.

Who could forget Vegas?