My Cousin Vinny

Yeah!

Here's some for 37 cents. Here's some for 32.

Thirty-one.

Think that's it. Don't they have any generics here?

I think this is their generic. I never heard of that brand.

Maybe we should get this one. Maybe it's worth a penny.

You're paying for advertising.

Tuna. We should get tuna. Please, no more tuna, okay?

It's got protein. We need protein.

Beans are protein. Beans make you fart.

We got a convertible.

I'm gettin' it for myself.

One burrito and one large Slush.

$21.67. Can you fill this up?

21.67.

This next one's a WSTT special request.

It goes out to Ernestine from Charles Weaver with a big old hug and kiss.

You could have gotten caught. What if somebody saw? The laws are medieval down here.

You know what the minimum age for execution is in Alabama?

What, 16? Ten!

Ten?

- There's a cop behind us. - A cop?

There's nothin' to worry about. There might be.

There's nothin' to worry about until there's somethin' to worry about.

Just relax. Please.

Is he still there? Yeah.

Goddamn it. Just calm down.

There's a cop behind us. That's all. There's nothing wrong. There's no problem.

Uh-oh.

What? His light's on.

Fuck. Fuck! Goddamn it!

Fuck! What are we gonna do now? It's probably nothin'.

It might be a taillight. Just relax.

We don't have any money for bail.

Bail? We don't need money for bail. Nothing's happened. Relax.

Nothing? We're getting pulled over, aren't we? You stole something. You're finished.

- Shut up. All right? - (Siren Blaring)

All right. Here he comes.

Show me your hands!

-Jesus. - Show me your hands! Get 'em up!

Get 'em up! Up!

Now put your hands on top of your head and get out of the car!

Out of the car! Go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. It's number three and five.

Ridiculous. All this over a can of tuna.

Keep quiet!

Yeah. Uh-huh. You sure about that?

- (Siren Blaring, Stops) - Yeah, he's standing right here.

All right. Bye.

I think we may get a confession.

I just heard that someone shot Jimmy Willis.

He's dead. Oh, my God!

Who would do such a thing?

Hello, Bill. I'm Sheriff Farley. Hi.

Do you know why you're here? Yeah.

I do. I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to do.

Have you been made aware of your rights?

Yes.

You willing to waive that right?

Yes. I'm willing to cooperate fully.

I'll sign a statement or whatever makes this whole thing easier.

Good. Good. That's-That's good.

But I want you to know, Stan, he had nothing to do with it.

Did he help you plan it?

No. I mean- I mean, it wasn't planned out. You know, it just happened.

Did Stan try to stop you at any time?

No. I mean, he was-

- Why? Is that a big deal? - Aidin' and abettin'.

Aiding and abetting? What is that, a major thing?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

An accessory?

Are you guys kidding? An accessory? I didn't help. I didn't plan it.

You didn't try to stop it.

I didn't know it was happening. I found out later in the car.

Why didn't you get out? Call the police then?

He's my friend.

Well,

your friend has put you in a lot of trouble.

What's gonna happen to Bill?

Nothin', unless he's convicted.

Of course if he is,

we're gonna run enough electricity through him to light up Birmingham.

We were friends at NYU.

We both applied, and we got scholarships to UCLA.

We figured the weather and the scenery would be nicer going through the South.

- What about the tuna fish? - Then I forgot about the can of tuna fish.

And then we-we left.

Did he catch you with the tuna fish? Is that how it started?

- No. He didn't say anything. - But he knew about it?

I don't know.

Let's talk about that for a moment.

You paid for the groceries.

- And then what? - We went out to the car, and that's it.

When'd you shoot him?

- What? - At what point did you shoot the clerk?

- I shot the clerk? - Yes. When did you shoot him?

I shot the clerk?

Hey, Dean. We need you out here.

I'm in the middle of a damn confession here!

Whoa! Wait a minute!

What's the matter?

Do you know what this is all about? Yeah, they're fucking with us.

You don't believe them? No. They don't execute for shoplifting.

You think we're being booked for shoplifting, huh? No.

You're being booked for shoplifting. I'm being booked for accessory to shoplifting.

No. Stan, I'm being booked for murder, and you're being booked for accessory to murder.

It's time to make your phone calls.

Goddamn it! Is there any way you could contact your parents?

How? Call the Chilean consulate?

What are they going to do, send a guide into the mountains, looking for them? No.

We need to call an attorney, a great attorney.

Do you know any great attorneys?

No. I'm calling my mother.

Hello, Ma. We're in Wahzoo.

It's in Beechum County, Alabama, Ma.

Not too good, Ma. We, uh—

We-We've been arrested.

Ma? Ma, please.

Ma, please, first of all, we didn't do it, all right?

Murder. Ma. Ma, please-

Ma, it's a mistake. We must look like the guys who did it.

Tell her what we think is happening. What we think's happening is-

Shut up. We think they're trying to set us up as patsies, Ma.

You know how corrupt it is down here.

They all know each other. The Klan's here. They're inbred. They sleep with their sisters.

Some of them do. All right, Ma, listen.

We gotta get an attorney, and it's gonna cost a lot of money.

How much would an attorney cost? A decent one? $50,000. $100,000.

50,000. 100,000- I know, Ma. I know.

Can we use any attorney? I think so.

He says he thinks so.

- Oh, he is? Well, that's a great idea. You'll think he'll do it? - What?

- We got an attorney in the family. - Great! Who?

My cousin Vinny!

- What? - Nothin'. You stick out like a sore thumb around here.

Me? What about you?

I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots.

Oh, yeah, you blend.

I bet the Chinese food here is terrible.

I don't see anything out of whack under there.

It feels like the wheels went out of balance after we hit that mud. That's not it.

I think you should put it on a rack and take a look.

What's wrong?

What? What's the problem?