Round the Decay

I found you.

You hungry?

Hm?

You spent time in the praying towns.

I know you understand me.

You're not scared?

That's fine.

I will change that.

I'm tired.

I need a place to rest my weary bones.

Me and my Mary.

A place to raise our family.

The right way.

Here maybe.

It's beautiful here.

Eat, my love.

You need to be strong

for the children, hmm?

You savages.

You threaten our way of life.

You know, I've watched you.

I've watched you

callously butcher innocents

in the name of your false king.

You know, when we burned

you out of that great swamp,

I vowed then and there to hunt

each and every one of you down.

To return the favor.

I have chased you

across this godforsaken land

for so long.

You have tested my patience,

my resolve,

my faith.

But through all of these trials,

I have found clarity.

Three revelations.

One,

I am only a man.

And there are powers beyond me.

Two,

the truest test of faith

requires sacrifice.

Three.

The only thing that can kill monsters

are monsters!

She takes something from everybody.

Once she gets a taste of you,

she'll find your people.

Your love betrays them.

Wrecked

soul.

It's all right.

You can scream now.

Mind if I sit here?

It's a nice night.

You from around here?

No?

What are you doing here then?

I'm still trying to figure that out.

Is that a...

You're married?

Engaged.

Oh.

Sorry, I didn't know, I'm just...

Oh, shit.

Would ya look at that.

It would appear that I am also engaged.

Zack.

Zack, that's his name?

What's yours?

The whole thing, what's it gonna be?

Kenzie Katarn.

Kenzie Katarn.

I like it.

It really rolls off the tongue.

It's got a nice ring to it.

I don't wanna play this game anymore.

Ring to it.

Ring to it.

Kenzie Katarn.

It is a beautiful name,

for a beautiful girl.

Now, how would this beautiful girl

like to take

a romantic walk up the mountain

with a fella like me?

-This Newport's Valley town meeting

is now in session.

Let's see what we've got here first.

Ah.

We've got fresh blood.

It is my pleasure to introduce you all

to a new resident of Newport's Valley

and the now owner of The Barn Owl Inn.

He is gracious enough to allow us use of this gorgeous

soon to be wedding space,

for our town meeting.

So, let's all give a warm

Newport's Valley welcome

to Mr. Bart Blakewell.

Come on up, Bart.

The floor's yours, literally.

Let's try not to scare him off just yet, everyone, please.

Thank you, Gregory.

Deep breath.

You're gonna do fine.

Thank you--

Thank you, Newport's Valley.

It's a pleasure to finally be a part of this community.

I have an important topic to discuss

in regards to fixing the tourism problem

in Newport's Valley.

And that is...

That is...

workforce housing.

I see you smiling

In and down around

You're singing too

Bada bew bew bew

Bada bum bum bum

Bah bah bah

Bah bah bah

Jesus.

Now there's the one road

that leads into the Valley

with the closest city being an hour away.

It's gonna be difficult

to bring capable help here,

-But-- -This is the same tune

we've heard every year

from the revolving door of ownership at The Barn Owl.

Well, this could be one of the reasons why--

Could just be

you just don't know the business here.

Despite your claims, The Succulent Pig

has had its best year yet.

Well, congratulations.

Popping a few campers on a lawn

isn't necessarily gonna make it

so you don't have to work as much.

And it's gonna

destroy the housing market.

Not to mention the crime.

Just look at the numbers.

-You could turn this wedding hall

into housing, couldn't you?

-Well, I've been kicking that around.

And um...

I have a five point plan.

It, oh, it's...

Actually it's 10 points.

We're rolling.

James Ford, AKA muffin, AKA muff.

Tell us about this climb.

Well, it's supposed to be a fun one.

It's the last one.

A secret one.

Ooh, it's a secret one.

It's, ah, called Whelan's Pass. It's...

not really a mountain,

but in the hiking community,

it's kind of like a

final celebratory trek.

Thank you for that

enthralling history lesson

Professor Muffin.

It's supposed to be cursed.

-James, can you help me with this map?

Oh no, she can't read!

She's haunted by the

ancient mountain, woo!

Trevor, I will push you off the mountain.

For more on this ancient curse,

let's talk to the oldest woman, Tara.

Or should I say,

Terror!

Ever the charmer, folks.

Tell us, Terror.

What reason did you have

those hundred years ago

to place a curse upon

this exaggerated hill?

To rid the world of pretty boy fucks

who think they're Indiana Jones

cause they can walk up an incline.

Ouch,

personal attack.

But she did call me pretty.

Hey, Aida.

You quiet down back there, now.

You're talking too much.

He's still a bit of a twat, huh?

The twatiest.

But also kind of the hottiest?

How do you know this girl?

Um. We work in the same office together.

She's a lot.

Why do you think I invited you?