My Fault: London

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I never believed in happy endings.

They were part of someone else's story.

As if my life could ever be that simple.

Everyone kept telling me that London would be a fresh start.

That I needed one.

Especially after everything that happened.

Twenty years ago, my mom left England for a man.

Now she was dragging us back for a different one.

A Prince Charming in a castle for her,

and a wicked stepbrother for me.

I thought I had it all figured out,

but I had no idea.

OK, donate or keep?

Er, donate, I guess.

What?! No, Mr Snuggles, you can't.

Come on, Haley, be ruthless.

All right, fine, I'm gonna keep him.

He's gonna be the perfect centrepiece for my Noah shrine.

Speaking of...

Oh, my God.

Here. She is tuned up and ready for you to...

Burn out?

"Look after" is what I was going for. OK?

OK. I'll think of you every time I speed.

OK, nearly done.

Noah's Ark is almost empty.

I just wish I could take you both with me.

You're lucky Ella is taking you with her.

There is a purge going on out front.

Well, Daddy Warbucks says we'll want for nothing.

That's like an outdated antifeminist fairy tale.

Yeah, some kind of fairy tale

where the princess has to leave her frog. Me.

Cute. All right, I'm gonna go hang

with the vultures in the yard.

Pick at the carcass.

What am I gonna do? I can't believe you're actually leaving.

I know.

Wait, have you got something in your eye?

- Shut up. - Oh, shit!

- It's both eyes. - Shut up!

You should get that checked out.

Stop. I'm gonna miss you.

Yeah, me, too. But, listen.

I've heard that long-distance relationships can be...

- The best. - ...hard. Hard.

But, you know, that's what we're signing up for,

- and it's gonna suck. - Noah, Noah, I'm in, OK?

Thank God.

- OK! OK. -

- Why do you have to go? -

What's in London?

I hope you get to meet Nick this morning.

Or maybe tonight at the gala.

The golden boy?

Well, if you and William hadn't eloped,

- then we would have met already. - Noah.

Neither of you wanted to be there.

He loves his cars, you know.

I think you're gonna like him.

If I don't, well, I guess it's too bad,

because we'll already be living together.

Complete strangers living together.

Could be fun.

Home, sweet home.

Subtle.

Good thing I practised my curtsey.

- Hello, my darling. - Welcome home.

How are you?

Just been checking my speech for tonight.

- I take it you want to see me. -

- - I've missed you.

Welcome, Noah. Did you have a good flight?

We should get you something to eat. A PB and J?

- Hamburger? - No, thanks.

OK. We just want you to feel at home.

Come on.

Come on.

Noah got to see the sights?

She certainly did. We got to see everything.

- Come. - What do you think?

Can't wait to take a twirl in the ballroom.

Sadly, no ballroom.

But I am confident that the venue tonight

will impress even the most discerning critic.

Yes, that would be you.

Martin will show you to your room.

Follow me. I'll give you the tour.

I don't understand why they're coming.

We don't need them.

Aren't you curious what she looks like?

No!

- Nice view, huh? - What? No. No.

Oh, Noah. Just... enjoy it.

It's pretty special.

And it's nice to see you happy.

This is a new start for us.

Did you see the security system?

This place is a fortress.

He can't get you here.

You're safer here than you've ever been.

Try and get some rest before the gala tonight.

Yeah.

Maybe have a bite to eat first? They've made meatloaf.

Why?

- I have no idea. -

Shit!

Is that how you greet people in Florida?

Because here, we just shake hands.

So you're the infamous Nicholas Leister.

Yeah. And you're the younger of the new unwanted guests.

Well, don't flatter yourself.

If I had a choice, I'd be anywhere but here.

That is not what it looked like when you gave yourself the tour.

What is taking so long? I'm parched.

A spoiled daddy's boy and a stalker. Hmm!

Ouch. Play nice, kids.

How the lowly have risen.

Oh. British charm.

Spare me. Neither of us want this.

Sorry, Giles, I was just saying hello to my new stepsister.

- What's your name? - Noah.

Hmm! Right.

Well, I knew it was something regrettable.

Well, enjoy your meatloaf, Noah.

Dick.

I think it's probably best we stay out of each other's way,

- don't you think? - Works for me.

Hey! Damn.

Hey. Er, just waiting for you to wake up.

Not that I'm missing you.

I also just met Nick.

He's even worse than we thought.

And Mom's laid out all of these gowns for this gala

like it's my society debut.

Anyway, er...

Yeah. Love you. Speak soon.

Noah! Let's hustle.

- Got her ready? - She is, yeah.

Where are they?

What do you think I should say? Should I sing?

Hey.

You know it's just us,

so the big entrance wasn't necessary.

You know what else isn't necessary?

- You being so rude. - My apologies.

Come on.

Come on.

Oops.

I'm not gonna rise to it

and give you the satisfaction you're craving.

That's not a problem.

Your inappropriate attire is satisfaction enough.

- Ready. - Ready?

You realise it's black tie, right?

Thank you.

- I'll meet you guys there, yeah? - Sure.

How about this for a first night in London, Noah?

- -

Lovely dress, darling. Who are you wearing?

Ladies and gentlemen,

climate change is the defining issue of our time.

Now why are we all gathered here this evening?

We've heard it before, but we haven't heard it enough.

Now is the time for action.

Thank you.

You looked like you needed this.

These men and women have demonstrated...