Fresh Off the Boat

Eddie: In some Asian households,

science fair week is no joke.

When your people invented everything

from gunpowder to sudafed,

nobody is cool with you phoning it in.

Oh, Luigi, should we get married?

There's no rush-a! We have all the time in the world!

Little do you know,

she already has another suitor... death.

And with every grade competing

and a pizza party on the line for the winner,

even the nice kids got cutthroat.

I mean, it's good, but is it pizza party good?

What up, youngsters?

What are you making for the science fair, Eddie?

Oh, crap! Science fair?!

I thought you guys were just being nerds.

It's both. Projects are due Monday.

Monday?!

I thought we had six months to think of something!

We did, six months ago.

Don't worry, Eddie.

I'll save you a slice of pizza.

Pizza is what they give to the winner.

I'm implying that I'll be the winner.

Maybe I still have some time to think of something.

She was pregnant.

S01E10 Blind Spot

And I said, if you want it, you're going to have to

go and steal it back from that bird.

Yeah.

Mr. Huang, you are so funny.

Oh, Vanessa, you're just saying that 'cause I'm the boss.

No, I'm not.

I think that the sexiest part about a man is his funny bone.

Mm. I bet you have a big bone.

Funny you should say that.

I do have usually large bones.

It runs in my family.

You should've seen my grandfather...

Bones like cinder blocks.

Went swimming one time. Sunk like a stone.

Died.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

Hey, Louis, guess what?

Oscar Chow is coming to Orlando!

Oscar Chow from college?

Yes!

He called me this morning.

I was gonna invite him to stay with us,

but I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable.

Oh, why would I not be comfortable?

I'm like a bean bag chair... Almost always comfortable.

Because Oscar and I used to date.

We were like Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in "Ghost,"

except we were alive and in college.

Oh, that? Ancient history. I love Oscar.

Okay. Good.

Uh, bad news, boss. Mitch is out sick with the chickenpox.

Poor Mitch.

Even when it comes to viruses, he's an ideal host.

I couldn't help overhearing

because, well, I was listening.

I think it's great

that Louis isn't one of those jealous types.

Because if one of my exes came to visit,

well, Herb would probably

just drive his car right into the lake again.

You know how herb gets.

Yes. Herb.

Thanks again for letting me borrow

your air mattress, Honey.

I should get my own, but I am very cheap.

No problem.

You have relatives in town for the weekend?

Oh, no. This is actually for my college ex-boyfriend Oscar.

I would have him stay on the sofa bed,

but Eddie spilled oyster sauce on it,

so now it smells like an aquarium.

Wow, and Louis is okay with that?

Well, he was upset at first,

but you know how oyster sauce is.

You can scrub and scrub...

Uh, no. No, I meant about your ex-boyfriend staying with you.

Marvin would never let any of my ex-boyfriends stay with us.

He's too jealous.

Nancy said the same thing about Herb.

Who's Nancy? Herb's girlfriend.

Ah. Oh, Marvin thinks I'm such a catch

that other men can't be trusted around me.

That's terrible.

Yeah.

Terrible.

Anyway, um, you should feel lucky

that you don't have to deal with that from Louis.

Yes.

Lucky.

If you need a second opinion,

you should ask

one of the other kids building a volcano.

I hear it's this year's "potato battery."

Make some noise for the power of science!

What is that?

It's a football and it's a phone!

Eddie, you need to apply yourself.

If you keep looking for shortcuts,

you'll never realize your potential.

Where'd you learn that? Oprah?

Barney.

On Oprah.

What's your project, huh?

Watch.

It breaks down Dr. Pepper into its 23 individual flavors.

You're not gonna believe this. One of them isn't pepper.

Damn, son! You unlocked the doc!

Ugh!

There goes my pizza party.

There's no way I'm beating Evan now.

Yo.

What's that on your arm?

Mm.

Louis: Chickenpox.

Need to work on... project.

The only things you need are bed rest,

ironically, chicken soup,

and the healing powers of white flower oil.

But it smells. Shh.

Focus on absorbing the oil.

Science fair.

No science fair.

Yes! Look like I'm winning the pizza party!

What? I can't have a dark side?

Okay, everybody, we can't have Oscar Chow staying

in a house full of invalids.

So everybody out. Grandma's room is now a quarantine zone.

Like "outbreak." Great movie.

Is that the one with the cute monkey?

Emery, if you ever see a monkey like that,

you run, okay?

You run and you don't look back.

And stay away from Evan because he is contagious.

Your mother's right.

We don't want you boys missing the science fair.

You can't stay in this room, or you're gonna get chickenpox.

Guys, come on, let's go! Get out of there.

Oscar will be here any minute.

Oh, boy. Oscar Chow. What a guy.

So I thought I would take Oscar jacuzzi shopping

at that place that lets you test drive the jacuzzi.

I think I'll wear my red bikini.

Hmm. Is Oscar looking for a jacuzzi?

He's gonna have to ship it.

Well, maybe we'll go for massages afterwards.

Hmm, shiatsu.

Did you know there's a-a ranch in Japan

where they massage the cows?

Talk about lucky cows.

Are you sure you're not jealous, Louis?

It's okay if you are.

Jealous of Oscar?

No.

Because, you know, they say you never get over your first love.

Mm. My first love was Dolly Parton.

What a butt.

Be more jealous!

Why aren't you more jealous?!

You want me to be jealous of Oscar?

Jessica, that's crazy.

Oh, so it's so crazy

that other men might find me attractive?

No.

Oscar!

Did somebody say "croquembouche"?

The sugar is the scaffolding.

And these are for you, Eddie.

I don't know if boys are still into wind chimes these days,

but I hope their gentle tinklings

will always remind you of home.

Uh...

He loves them!

Thank you, Oscar!

So thoughtful.

So attentive.

So, Oscar, what brings you to Orlando?

I'm auditioning for

the "Aladdin" ice show spectacular.

Oh!

It's going to be my big break. I can just feel it.

Well, you were always such an athlete.

Well, I'm gonna go freshen up.

Boys, uh, show Oscar to the guest bathroom.