Merry Heistmas

Watch it, Cole.

C’mon, Dizzy, quiet. Shhh.

You shush.

Shhh.

Okay, okay, okay.

Shh.

Come on, Cole.

Okay.

Here we go.

All right, Dizzy. Count us off.

One... two...

here we go.

You said he'd be at the porta potties.

But I’m not. Am I dum-dum?

What the...? Damnit. -Did you start us singing too slow?

73 bpm. My internal metronome is never off.

Did you clock him wrong?

No. He's just not where he's supposed to be because he's a bad security guard.

Caught you, didn’t I?

(walkie shatters) -(feedback)

Damn it!

Let's pick up the tempo.

That’s what your booby trap is for.

Booby trap?

(tape rips) -(cans clatter)

(guard hits floor) -Ugh!

No time for an encore.

Let’s get out of here.

Merry Christmas to all.

And to all,

a good night!

It was just Thanksgiving.

(music ends) -(zipper)

All right.

That is half.

Is there anything else you'd like me to do for you this evening?

You could learn to disarm electronic security systems.

That would make my job easier.

That is your job?

That's... That's your whole job.

And it would be easier if you learned to do it.

You didn't even have to do your job tonight.

Because I found the combination on the desk.

Yeah. Easy money.

Don't stick around here too long. Okay?

I can't babysit you in case we were followed.

Annie’s got a concert at 830.

It’s 10.

Thank you, Dizzy.

Missing your own daughter's concert to steal some money.

I'm sorry. Did you want to give back your half?

I do not.

Not my fault that her concert’s

on the same night that I planned for this job.

And you could have planned this job for a different night.

See?

I mean it.

Don't stick around here, Dizzy.

Be smart.

I'm not going to visit you in prison.

Dad?

Annie!

Wh... why aren’t you backstage?

Isn't it bad luck to see a singer before the concert?

Concert's over, dad.

Started at eight.

It's 10:30.

Now how did I get that mixed up?

You thought this was maybe one of those cool after hours college choir concerts?

Well, I don't know, Annie. I never went to college. Okay.

I don't know these things.

Just because you didn't go to college doesn't mean I'm an idiot.

You know, they performed two of my songs tonight.

You... You sang two of your songs?

The choir did.

Wait.

Aren't you in the choir?

I arranged the tunes for the choir.

Oh, Annie.

Come on. This is your last year of college.

You're such a good singer.

You shouldn't be afraid to show it off. -To who?

Oh, your mom didn't come either.

Mom lives 2000 miles away now.

You live across town.

Your mom moved?

Does that bother you?

Annie, your mom and I divorced a long time ago.

And I always said she was better off without me.

That could be your motto.

Hi, Annie.

Miguel. (Annie laughs)

Are you just sitting out here alone?

No, I mean, yes, but I have a rehearsal for that Christmas thing.

So yeah... just, uh, waiting for the others.

Yeah. (they laugh)

Uh, you, um, sounded really great tonight.

In the concert. The whole choir. -Oh yeah. You did too.

Your songs did.

I thought her songs were the best ones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

He did not hear them. He wasn't there. -Oh.

Does your quartet still need an arrangement for the Heart of Christmas Soiree audition?

Are you in his quartet?

No. -Oh. Do you sing. Annie?

Oh, my God, she's an amazing singer.

Knock it off, dad.

Wha... So what is this gig?

Oh, it's uh, it’s an audition for this Christmas Eve thing.

Um, and if we get it, it pays $2,000 apiece.

$2,000?

This is like for singing, right?

Oh yeah. The guy who throws it, he's rich and super into Christmas.

And, he invites a few of his rich friends and shows off

his giant diamond or something.

(funky music) -I'm gonna head back to my dorm.

Bye, dad.

I'm sorry, did...

did you see a giant diamond?

Uh. Yeah.

He hires different carolers every year um...

Annie left though so...

Oh.

It's nice to meet you.

I don't suppose you know anything else about this soiree thing?

I've never had the gig, but um...

you could Google it?

I could Google it. Yes.

Thank you, Miguel.

Very helpful.

Annie. -Oh my God!

You scared the hell out of me!

I, I thought you could uh...

use some company.

It's a...

long, dark, spooky walk back to the dorm, so.

I was almost entirely un-spooked until a second ago.

Oh my God.

I thought you had rehearsal tonight.

Oh, we always end up fighting anyway.

You know, last week, we almost broke up over barbershop quartet arrangements.

Somebody wanted to be a barbershop caroling group?

Hey, barbershop is a quintessential American...

Miguel, you really don't have to walk me. It's fine.

You sure?

I'm sure.

Okay. Well, just do me a favor and don't get yourself killed

because then I’d feel pretty bad about leaving you.

Yeah, I know.

Especially since you chased after me you’d probably be the prime suspect.

Oh, crap. Yeah.

Know what? I will...

send myself an e-mail right now saying you definitely did not murder me.

You know, I'm fairly certain

that would make it look worse. -There. Sent it.

You're off the hook.

Oh, good good good good good.

I’m not too late.

Um... Not really. We're closed.

Oh, I just need one tree. I don't even care which one it is.

Oh. I'm sorry. All my payment stuff’s offline.

Oh. It's okay, I’ll pay cash.

I'm even willing to throw in a little extra for your trouble.

Okay... -I'll pay you $100 for this tree.

That tree costs $125.

Wh...

It’s not even a very good tree.

Wow. You really know how to sweet talk a girl.

Okay, $200.

Then can I have the crappy tree?

You have to load it up yourself.

Fine.

Here. -(paper)

Okay.

Do you have any other large-ish decorative stuff around here that I could...?

Like, well, this.

Yeah.

$200.

That's for calling my tree crappy.

The only reason I can think

that you'd invite me over to your actual house

so soon after a job is to steal my share of the take.

So I didn't bring it.