Marvel's Avengers Assemble

1x08 - Molecule Kid

- Tilty-whirly-thingy? - Nope.

- Log flume? - Nuh-uh.

Seriously? You're gonna stand here on our one day off,

Knocking down milk bottles for stuffed animals?

You spend your day at the carnival your way,

and I'll spend it my way.

Gammi bear?

Well, meet me back here when you're ready to hurl.

Man, I should've brought the Hulk.

Whoa!

- He's back. - Who's back?

- Molecule Man. - Molecule Man?

Last time Molecule Man came to town, he almost left with it too.

His wand could change any kind of molecule

into any other kind of molecule.

Huh?

Not exactly a good power for a good guy either.

But, thanks to my expert shot,

we didn't have to worry about the wand falling into anyone's hands.

Great shot. Thanks for keeping me

from being able to dissect the invention of the century.

Sorry.

We gotta tell Tony.

This goes no further than us. We bring him in.

Rust head won't like that. We do this my way.

We do it my way. Fury's orders.

Our mission is to secure the tech,

tech Fury thought was destroyed,

tech Fury thinks would be far too dangerous

in the hands of an inventor with Stark's curiosity.

All I'm saying is, Tony's gonna be peeved when he finds out.

Oh, Widow.

It was you up here. Cool. When Tony finds out what?

- A different Tony... - She said Tony must not owe me for our last poker game...

Black We were talking about planning a little birthday...

...totally would've paid me because he's really rich.

- Yes, your poker game. - Exactly. A surprise party.

- A surprise poker party. - For some other Tony.

Fine. Keep it to yourselves. But I wouldn't cross Iron Man.

Anyway, I'll be on the Viking swing.

A surprise poker party? That isn't even a thing.

It won't be any kind of party if Tony gets

to Molecule Man before we do. Let's move.

So, you got Molecule's cell digits,

Or are we just supposed to search every street in New York city?

S.H.I.E.L.D. has a lead on him.

And if you can't take my mission plan seriously, I'll do it myself.

Touchy. P.S., I can take a mission un-seriously and still ace it.

Thanks.

- Totally knew you would do that. - There.

I could've done this in my sleep.

One knock-out arrow and I'm back to winning stuffed pandas.

- Hey! - He's carrying dangerous cargo.

- We have to secure it before... - Before he can disappear with it?

How did we get made? 'Cause it wasn't me.

Sure. The talking at full volume didn't raise any flags.

- Amateur! - Don't blame me, super-spy.

A.I.M. agents. That's what he's running from.

Uh... um...

You're not taking my dad's wand!

- Black That's not Molecule Man. - More like Molecule Kid.

Hey, what...

We just got slimed!

No!

Look at him. All that power in his hands,

and he doesn't even know what to do with it.

I think Iron Man would be pretty useful right about now.

Fury doesn't want the wand in any one person's hands, especially Mr. Impulsive.

If I was in charge, I would've brought along a Hulk or something.

- Over here! - Hey!

This wand is all I have left of my father.

There's no way you're getting it from me.

Uh-oh.

There's mud in your eye.

- And your nose and your ears... - Joke later. He's running away again.

Hmm?

Permission to fire the champion shot

you should've let me fire back in the alley, sir!

Permission to stop talking and start shooting granted.

Do you not get it? I have his power now.

Me! I'm not afraid to use it!

Aah! Where'd you learn to drive, huh? Video games?

- Aah! - Hush!

Have you thought about what we're gonna do

- if junior turns us into bratwursts? - I see you as more of a hot dog.

But the wand can't affect organic matter. Take the wheel.

Turn!

Uh...

Whoever you are, leave me alone!

We're Avengers, the really good guys.

Hey, how are you with kids?

Playtime is over. The wand. Now.

Question answered. Not so good.

A.I.M.! Avengers! You're all the same.

In my hair!

See ya at the top.

- Pozhaluista. - What's that?

That's Russian for "you're welcome."

- Stop! - You're scared. Fine. You should be.

But let us help you.

- Whoa! - Whoa!

Help me, like you helped my dad? Send me away like you did him?

You just want to take what everyone else wants from me.

He does have a point.

Whoa!

Molecule Kid just made those cars a lot heavier.

Okay. What we have here is more scared kid than crazed super-villain.

Can you just mommy-talk him before he destroys the city?

Mommy-talk? You did not just say that with me

positioned to kick you in many painful places.

Give me the wand!

Or else!

Leave me alone!

Whoa!

- Honey? - Yes, dear?

No. We're stuck in honey.

You said the wand doesn't do organics, so this isn't honey, honey.

Hey, great mission plan so far, by the way.

Perfection. Really.

- You look stuck. - Captain America? How...

I was walloping Batroc the leaper over on 3rd

when I noticed 5th had gone vertical.

- Why didn't you call in the team? - Because Tony cannot know this kind

of power's in the city, by order of Nick Fury.

Did you tell Fury our team comes first? Or does it for you?

You're the by-the-rules guy, Captain.

Imagine if Tony no longer had to follow the rules of physics.

Understood. We need to keep this away from Tony.

Still, aren't you the world's greatest super-spy and most expert marksman?

- You can't handle a kid? - If Hawkeye had let me deal with this

instead of trying to grandstand...

Pulling Widow from slime, honey... She can't be left alone for a second!

Oh, brother. Yeah, while you're both being right, your target's getting away.

Help me!

I will help myself to your wand.

- The Adaptoid? Here? - Now it's a party.

- Call Tony? - We do not call Tony!

You're safe, son. I suggest you hand over that wand.

It won't work for you. For anyone.

Only me. My dad made it that way.

- Go help Cap. I've got the kid. - You go help Cap. I've got the kid.

I can handle a shape-shifting robot. Seriously, go help Cap.

It's too much for you. You go help Cap.

I got Cap.

You two stay on robo-snot. I'll call Tony.

Do not call Tony!

I now control this marvelous creature.